We all walk ancientrails. Welcome to the journey.

Archive for September, 2019

Get livin’ or get dyin’

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon New workout. Met with Dave, personal trainer at On the Move Fitness. He’s a thin, muscled guy, a bicyclist’s physique with a hearty, but haunted manner. The curving scar from just above his left temple to parallel with the middle of his left ear explains the haunted part. He’s an […]

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Heart ripped upward

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Listening to the cybernet radio. Right now John Mayer doing a soulful rendition of Sugaree with Dead and Beyond. These songs reach right into my heart and rip it toward the surface. Here I am! Sad. Worried. Glad. Joy running fast through the blood. Nothing between my skin and my […]

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Lives of Quiet Desperation

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Caveat: Got carried away here. Stuff that’s important to me, but long. Alienation is killing Americans and Japanese. The age of American despair. American life expectancy has dropped again. This is what life without retirement savings looks like. Nope, not me. Headlines from articles I noticed over the last couple […]

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Well. Take that Trump.

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Living. Longer.

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon First phase: education. Starts with, oh yeah gotta breathe!, can continue through graduate school. But those first twenty or so years focus on learning the terrain. Second phase: family and career. In this phase we put that education to work. The hallmark of the second phase is agency. Raising children. […]

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Waiting

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Hard to lean into life right now. My ikigai is faint, a shadow flickering from the last log on the fire. Whether it’s lingering effects of the radiation, the Lupron, or the dismal psychic space of too much stress for too long, my motivation level looks like the bathtub ring […]

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If you can’t stand the heat

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Yesterday the fire danger was very high. Good thing we got a deluge in the afternoon. Rain fell like a waterfall, gushing over the roof and the solar panels, covering the driveway in an inch or so of water. Since this is Colorado weather, we also had some hail. Not […]

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Transmutation

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Reorganized my art cart (Jon’s name for it) so I could do sumi-e on one side and oil painting on the other. Finding myself more willing to engage physical tasks like this reorganizing, the fire mitigation, making art than writing. Is this my ikigai trying to surface? Don’t know. Waiting. […]

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Pupating

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Work out yesterday. Wore myself out. Guess that’s the point. I made a promise to myself that I would hit all of my workouts during the radiation treatments. I did that. Ready for the new set of exercises. See Deb on Tuesday at 10 am. Made spaghetti bolognese last night. […]

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Ikigai

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon Radiation done. Lupron still on board. At least one more injection. Oct. 1st. If that’s it, three months after January 1, I’ll have a PSA that tells the tale of the radiation. Did it work? Hot flushes, the occasional flash. One drastic mood swing. All I have to show for […]

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