Winter and the Future Moon

Friday gratefuls: Mussar. The folks there, the down deep discussions. Yesterday, boredom was the topic. The actors in Resurrection: Ertugrul. For Radical Judaism, by Art Green. That sweet Gertie, who lay with her head on my pillow most of the night. Jon and our dinner at Aki on Broadway. The strange retail store, Orr’s Trading Post. Sleep. Kate’s improvement from New Year’s Day.

Unalloyed good news! Yes. PSA drawn a week ago, undetectable. If I have a similar one in March, then another similar one in June, I believe they’ll declare me cured. I feel cured. No tacit sense of foreboding, no undercurrent of doom. Felt a touch of the relief I’ll feel in June if I get the same results then.

No sense of foreboding, no, but a pressure on the psyche while waiting to discover the results of the radiation? Oh, yes. This June is a long way away (at least to me) from August of 2019 when I drove out to Lonetree for the last time to lie under the Cyberknife. That first PSA in September troubled me. This one buoys me up. May they continue.

Had dinner with Jon last night at Aki, a Japanese place on Broadway in Denver. He’s in a calmer place, less conflicted. So bright. Way brighter than me. I so hope he can ease himself into a better psychic space. We’re going to keep doing this, meeting for dinner. I hope the regularity will give him something of an emotional anchor.

In Mussar yesterday, for a check-in, I recounted the story of the dog battle and my realization of the warrior’s way. When I spoke about warriors putting their bodies on the line for our safety and security, I teared up. Thinking of Joseph.