Imbolc Imbolc Moon
Felt myself slipping into that old debil melancholy this morning. You know, the usual. What have I done with my life? Have I wasted it, wasted the gifts granted to me by genetics and being thrown into this amazing moment on the world’s journey? Look at how much others have done. Kate. Joanne. Ron. The rabbi. Deadly, comparing. And, pointless.
I know that. Most of the time. But this morning a gremlin slipped up from the collective pool in which we all swim, burrowed through my unconscious and grabbed my self-perception by the collar, shook it. “Look here. See this! See you! What’s. Been. Going. On?”
One of the grace marks of age though, thank God, is experience. Oh, I know you, Gremlin. You’ve visited before. Often. And listening to you is bad juju. I’m going to go on about my day, get this done and that done. Think about what I can be up to right now since yesterday’s gone and tomorrow’s not vouchsafed. In the present your grimy, gremliny thing is irrelevant and the present is all I have. Yes, I remember that.
Gremlin shrinks back from the horizon of my consciousness. Well, I’ll be going, but I won’t be far. I’ll come to visit you again.
I know you will. And that’s ok, because in your aftermath I appreciate my life in this moment so much more.
Gremlin shrinks in size, looks ashamed.
Yes, we all have, and need, spurs to invigorate us, make the pony gallop. I remember those spurs, rawls they called them, on the wall at the Chilean ranch we visited in Puerto Mont. They were a circle of sharp pointed metal tines, vicious looking. You’re nowhere near that bad, not anymore.
And there, the gremlin has disappeared, diving back into the deep pool, swimming with other beasties, ready to come try for a bit of the Self, of the Soul next time. Until then.