We all walk ancientrails. Welcome to the journey.

Archive for the 'Family' Category

Year 72.1

Imbolc                                                                       Valentine’s Moon Starting my 73rd year feeling better. Better, of course, is relative. In this case relative to a lost two weeks. I mean that almost literally. The last two weeks were a fog. I know things happened. I know I did things. But what were those things? Mushed together in a perceptual porridge […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Valentine’s Day on Shadow Mountain

Imbolc                                                                      Valentine Moon Well, no matter what else happens I can say I made it to 72. Valentine’s Day on Shadow Mountain. Black Mountain obscured by low lying clouds, but still visible. A thin dusting of snow on the solar panels and the driveway. 32 degrees. The pneumonia continues. Rattling in the chest, coughing, back […]

Read the rest of this entry »

71 years, 360 days.

Imbolc                                                                                    Valentine Moon Such a romantic lead into my romantic birthday. Kate’s going to get the feeding tube put in sometime. CT next week to make sure the stent’s working, then the tube soon? thereafter. Don’t know. Looks like it will be a home-based operation from the git. No rehab. Meanwhile on Friday I drug […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Misery. Discomfort. Illness.

Imbolc                                                                                        Valentine Moon The viral merry-go-round goes round and round, round and round. Here some phlegm. There some chills. Here some fever. There some sore throat. Here a cough, there a cough. And, overall…yuck. I told Kate I didn’t remember ever being this sick. “Austria,” she said, “You were pretty sick in Austria.” True. In […]

Read the rest of this entry »

A Matched Pair

Imbolc                                                                           Valentine Moon We’re a matched pair. Hair uncombed, vacant looks, wan smiles, in and out of bed during the day and the night. My bout with this virus, probably an adenovirus, is a week old today. 1 to 2 weeks according to the home medical advisor: Kate. Let it be less than 2 weeks. […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Illness here, Illness there…

Imbolc                                                                            Waxing Moon Frayed end of a hawser. That would be me this morning. I thought this virus was done on Saturday. Nope, just getting warmed up. More fever. Then congestion, chest and sinus. So, coughing. A lot of clearing of the throat. “Yes, Curt,” Kate says, referencing my father’s frequent clearing of his throat. […]

Read the rest of this entry »

This ancientrail. Right now. Hard.

Imbolc                                                                         Waxing Moon Wanes Chronic illnesses must have some similarity in their psychological impact. Maybe related to grieving. In the first days of a diagnosis there is confusion, distress, yet also relief that this thing has a name. Searching for a cure becomes a family enterprise, the internet glows red hot with old medical journal […]

Read the rest of this entry »

A seed

Imbolc                                                                                  Waxing Moon The waxing moon has not brought the weight gain I’d hoped. Maybe next month. We talked yesterday about eating disorders and their relevance to Kate’s situation. Through a combination of aversive conditioning, nausea and cramping triggered by eating, the dry mouth issues of Sjogren’s that can make food unpalatable, a generally depleted […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Ugh

Imbolc                                                                      Waxing Moon Being sick. Ugh. Spent more time in bed than I wanted to. Felt like, as Kate used to say of herself, a sluggard. Nausea, bit of dizziness, general feeling of crummy. Low energy. Ack. This is day 4. Actually felt better yesterday than I do right now. Since I have Jewish Studies […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Virions. Damn them.

Imbolc                                                                                   Waxing Moon This morning the waning crescent moon had its horns turned up toward Venus and Jupiter, Saturn hovered beneath it. Antares and Scorpio glittered beside them. We have much less light pollution than the Denver metro. My no good, very bad, terrible horrible day on Wednesday gave way to a morning spent in […]

Read the rest of this entry »