Could be the Lupron

Summer and the Radiation Moon

OK. Stomach still unhappy. Fatigue as I go up the stairs to the loft. Flickerings of something hot, as if the oven’s warming up.

When I told Gilroy my symptoms yesterday, “Not stomach upset for radiation. Some bowel trouble, diarrhea, later. Maybe you caught a bug?” Could it be the Lupron, I asked. “Hmm. When did you, oh, July 18th (a day after I started the radiation). Let’s see. Oh. Well. With Lupron the testosterone stays the same for first two weeks. You’re in the transition, between week three and four. Yes, this could be related to the Lupron.”

Not fun. Not awful or impossible, but not fun.

Yesterday I listened to the Rolling Stones. I now close my eyes, grip the ring for my hands, and listen to the music, getting lost in the rock and roll. The time passes very quickly. I’m up and on my way. After this week, I’ll be just a bit over half way done.

I’ve also noticed some mood changes, not sure yet whether they’re related. Thoughts going a darker, quicker. Got an e-mail from two of my good friends from seminary with whom I’ve lost connection over the years. She’s doing quilting and Japanese dying and he’s become a free lance illustrator. They both have a great looking web presence, grandkids and live in Cambridge, Ma.

So, the obvious thing is, they’re life’s better than mine. I didn’t do anything. Well, no, that’s not the obvious thing, but it is where I went. That sorta thing. I usually don’t slip over to envy about others. A fool’s game?

The tunnel has gotten a bit narrower, perhaps for a while. Gotta pay attention.

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