Virions. Damn them.

Imbolc                                                                                   Waxing Moon

healthThis morning the waning crescent moon had its horns turned up toward Venus and Jupiter, Saturn hovered beneath it. Antares and Scorpio glittered beside them. We have much less light pollution than the Denver metro.

My no good, very bad, terrible horrible day on Wednesday gave way to a morning spent in bed with a substantial fever, chills, generally icky feelings. I was sick on Wednesday. No wonder the end of the day felt like I was swimming through jello. Today, not so bad, but I’m going to rest today, too. Illness didn’t occur to me on Wednesday because it’s been such a long time since my last one, maybe a year and a half, maybe more. That streak’s over.

HIV virion, spoonflower

HIV virion, spoonflower

At this age I felt relieved when the sickness declared itself. There are other possibilities. Blocked arteries around the heart, in particular. One passing the threshold into active blockage could reduce blood flow to the heart, make me tired.

Instead, a virus. The zombies of the pathology world. Bits of DNA or RNA floating around as virions, ready to pierce host cells and use their internal machinery to create more virus. Wish they’d skipped evolving, been an evolutionary dead end. But, no. As a current host, I can say that these are not organisms you want to invite to the party. They’re gate crashers and they leave a mess behind.

What would have been an inconvenience in my 30’s or 40’s raises issues of mortality in my 70’s. What if I get pneumonia? What if I can’t shake it? Is it really an illness or are the symptoms coming from something more systemic? Am I gonna die? A good run while it lasted. Goodbye.

Or not. I feel better, though not well, this morning. I’m glad because the degree of fatigue I felt on Wednesday could have been the harbinger for a much more serious issue. When the fever came yesterday, I felt the relief I described above, but I also felt a mild level of fear. Will this escalate? I’m not frail, in fact I’m in excellent health for a man of my age; so, I should still be able to ride out even a moderate to serious illness, but I’d sure rather not.

What a pair, we said to each other more than once yesterday.

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