Be You. Home.

Samain and the Full Thanksgiving Moon

Sunday gratefuls: The Full Thanksgiving Moon, which traveled west over the course of the night. Mary’s calendar of Joe and Seoah’s time in Singapore. Her seeing them off at Changi on their way to Hawai’i. Cousin Diane. Mark’s politics. My close friends, who help me stay sane.  The Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer. Salvage therapy. Aging. Isolating. Cooking. Watching. Loving. Writing. Grandkids, Ruth. Gabe. Jon. Cataract surgery. Cheaters. Vaccines. Vaccines. Vaccines. The next 51 days. And, the next four years. Happiness. Eudaimonia. Mine. Covid.


Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.”
Herman Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte


Been thinking some more about home. In particular Paul’s conversation about PFA’s, people from away. Mainers don’t count you as part of their tribe unless you were born and continue to live in the state, Maine is their home. As they understand home. Led me to wonder about home as a center of allegiance. PFA’s can’t have, at least this is how I imagine the thought process, the same allegiance to this land as we, born and bred here, do. Similar to the Colorado “native” bumper stickers. Or, the ones that read: Colorado, already full. Would be interesting to know how Mainers feel about immigration, the idea of immigrating.

Another thought from this. Home defines in and out. This is my home. Not yours. While home can be a source of comfort, security. love, it can also be a means of exclusion, of defining who is other.

Led me to wonder about home as Russian nesting dolls. Can you have more than one home? Maybe. 9358 Shadow Mountain. Arapaho National Forest. Front Range of the Rocky Mountains. Colorado. United States. Earth. The Solar System. The Milky Way. Our Local Group of Galaxies with our Milky Way on one end of a dumbbell and the Andromeda Galaxy on the other. The Virgo Super Cluster. The Lanaikea Super Cluster. This Universe. In this sense I think the answer is yes.

If not in a geographical and astronomical context, how about a personal one. Is Minnesota still my home? Indiana? Is Singapore Mary’s home? Riyadh Mark’s? I’m liable to say I’m from Minnesota and I’m from Indiana. Does the from in these phrases connote a continuing home, or, perhaps, a former one? Not sure.

Home run. Home base. Home town. (not, home city.) Home state. (not, home country. not, home continent.) Homely. Homing pigeon. Homing in. My home. Their home. Our home. Homeless. Home is where the heart is. Home sweet home. Homey. Home team. Home sick.

Here I go. Home is the intersection of a particular place and a particular life, one lived with others or by one’s self. It is a place that soothes the heart, stimulates the mind, deepens love, offers rest. Alexandria is no longer my home, but it is still my hometown. Minnesota is my Arizona or my Boca Raton. It’s a second home, though rarely visited in person. Colorado, Shadow Mountain, that’s home now. Hope it is my last one.

I do find the nesting doll understanding of home worthwhile. This mountain top is my home, as is the National Forest and the Rocky Mountain’s Front Range. Colorado in a larger sense. I’m a citizen of and love as my country, the United States. The Earth and its unartificed places. Home. The Solar System, with Sol, our energy source. Home. The Milky Way, so important to so many cultures, and, to me. Home.



Quotes found at Goodreads, among 2122 on Home:


“Everybody has a home team: It’s the people you call when you get a flat tire or when something terrible happens. It’s the people who, near or far, know everything that’s wrong with you and love you anyways. These are the ones who tell you their secrets, who get themselves a glass of water without asking when they’re at your house. These are the people who cry when you cry. These are your people, your middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people.”
Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way


“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”
Maya Angelou, All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes
“Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.”
Gary Snyder
“How often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”
William C. Faulkner
“There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.”
Homer, The Odyssey

“Happiness doesn’t lie in conspicuous consumption and the relentless amassing of useless crap. Happiness lies in the person sitting beside you and your ability to talk to them. Happiness is clear-headed human interaction and empathy. Happiness is home. And home is not a house-home is a mythological conceit. It is a state of mind. A place of communion and unconditional love. It is where, when you cross its threshold, you finally feel at peace.”
Dennis Lehane


“You don’t have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back.”
James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room


The desire to go home that is a desire to be whole, to know where you are, to be the point of intersection of all the lines drawn through all the stars, to be the constellation-maker and the center of the world, that center called love. To awaken from sleep, to rest from awakening, to tame the animal, to let the soul go wild, to shelter in darkness and blaze with light, to cease to speak and be perfectly understood.”
Rebecca Solnit, Storming the Gates of Paradise: Landscapes for Politics


“Home is a notion that only nations of the homeless fully appreciate and only the uprooted comprehend.”
Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose

This entry was posted in Anoka County, Colorado, Family, Friends, Great Wheel, Great Work, Jefferson County, Memories, Minnesota, Mountains, Original Relation, Our Land and Home, Quotes, Shadow Mountain, The Move, The West, Third Phase, Travel, US History. Bookmark the permalink.

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