Imbolc and the Ovid Moon of Metamorphoses
Monday gratefuls: 3 feet or so of new Snow. Ovid. His master work, The Metamorphoses. His birthday this Friday. The Ancient Friends, their lives and compassion. Kep and Rigel playing in the Snow. Vaccines. Covid. 46 at work. Time, whatever it is, and however we divide it. Kate, always Kate.
Sparks of joy: The quiet. Snow muffled Mountain. The Storm, a big one.
Not sure how to get into this, so I’m writing my way toward it. Hell, I’m tired of the bad luck stories coming from Shadow Mountain. Not all that we have, bad luck stories that is, but the ones that make the family news are the hospitalizations, the new diagnoses, ideas about the near term future. These last involve what I consider dire prospects, like moving.
Can’t say how much Covid, the long wait, now a year, for outside our house safety, has inflected my feelings. Quite a lot I imagine. I’ve read many reports of listlessness, lack of motivation. Anomie, I suppose. Also Winter. Which I love, but which can, when feeling down, reinforce the feeling.
Trying to give myself a lift. It is so beautiful here this morning. That helps. The Lodgepoles have thick snow on their downward sloping branches. Black Mountain is white. The quiet, the silence. So good. Not that it’s noisy here, but no noise is even better.
I’ve got beautiful pictures of Hawai’i from Joe and Seoah. Their home now. Ruth sent me a video of her backyard at her Dad’s. Lotsa snow. Family is a real bright spot. I can feel the love and concern radiating in from the Islands and the city. This is huge, because it means that no matter the immediate future we won’t be alone.
I want to snap my fingers and feel up, motivated, ready to workout, write, cook. With vigor. Ready to be me. I want it, but I don’t want it at the price of denial. Things are tough here, at some points overwhelming. The tension between feeling our difficult reality and a wished for easier time? Is it part of the problem? Could I stay with the tough stuff, live into it, work it? No choice there, really.
This is a time when both of us have to be flexible as Kate’s situation seems to change from month to month. Means new sleeping patterns, new roles for both of us. My situation has changed, too, although I’m not sure how much.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel better for putting that out there, noodling it on the page a bit.