Xin

Beltane (& Kau) and the Island Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Cardio. Coffee. Water. Murdoch. Logic. Emotion. Not separate. The Pearl River. The Mountains with Clouds backlit, drama provided by the rising Sun. Tenderness. Grief. Death. Ongoing life. Kate, always Kate. Comic books. “I’d love to live with you, Dad!” “Don’t hesitate, don’t ever hesitate.” Seoah on my being alone. “Come stay with us.”

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Being called down to the Sea, up to the Mountains, into the Wilderness, to slip the surly bonds of Earth. Yearning.

Let’s call him Xin. This new man in the cocoon of the old. His imaginal cells pulsing, changing, transforming Charles, the one who was with Kate here and now. Charlie and Kate wanted one last adventure together. It was Mountains and family. Together they made the choice, did the work, and lived the remainder of their married life embedded in the dream. Loving the Mountains, each other, the grandkids, Jon, the dogs. And, it was good. Even the bad parts were good. They did not cancel the dream. They did not alter it. They simply shaped its everydayness in an unanticipated way.

Xin will have his own dream. One conforming to his changed life, widower, single man. Xin will, by necessity, carry Charlie and Kate in his backpack. And happily so. Raeone and Judy, too. All of Charlie’s past and some of Kate’s. The burden is light, nourishing for his future. Few regrets. little guilt. No shame.

I, Charlie/Xin, hope Xin will live into his new dream. Not hope for it or yearn for it only, but act. May he flourish, winged one, remaining life for this body. Xin.

Mary and Seoah went to the beach yesterday. An odd pair, Seoah with her inflatable inner tube decorated like a cake donut with sprinkles, Mary in her halal one-piece swim suit. Originally purchased for the Muslim dominant beaches and pools of unobtainable (at this long Covid moment) Malaysia. Malaysia has just gone into lockdown, again. This time for two weeks. Singapore, too. Mary’s lucky she got deported.

Joe continued to wrestle with tooth pain, better this morning. A quiet Memorial Day (federal designation). I slept after the Bishop, then we watched old X-men cartoons from the 1990’s. All of us watched movies in the evening. Those Who Wish Me Dead and Greenland. Between them a good b-movie plot. Maybe.

Meanwhile in Colorado, Steamboat Springs, a Black Bear mauled a man in his garage. Serious injuries. Euthanized bear. He stored bird seed in there, didn’t secure the garage.

Northern Minnesota, the Rocky Mountains, far away Hawai’i, Islands in the Ocean. My places. Maybe your places, too. May we all live where we want, as we so yearn.

At the VRCC, Jan. 2018

 

This entry was posted in Anoka County, Bees, Colorado, Dogs, Family, Garden, Great Wheel, Hawai'i, Jefferson County, Judaism, Memories, Minnesota, Mountains, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, The Move, The West, Third Phase, Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

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