Summer and the Shadow Mountain Moon

Monday gratefuls: Paul. Claire and new life. Brothers. Sisters. The Johnson sisters. Jon, Ruth, Gabe. The Economist. Joe and Seoah. Mary and the Ellis cousins. Family and friends. And, dogs: Kep and Rigel.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Third day in a row cool and rainy. Mid-June!



Ongoing Rain. Also keeps down the Pollen. Which makes me sneeze. Apparently it’s not the Pine Pollen, only 3% or so are allergic to it. The other Grasses and Plants that bloom now. The Pine Pollen, however, seeps in through cracks in windows, stains puddles in the driveway, and sometimes gives the Air outside a yellow cast. Correlation but not causation. Elementary science, my dear Watson.

Made a lot of progress yesterday clearing stuff out, throwing stuff away. Pruning. It feels good, too. Discovered a cache of rings I didn’t know Kate had. Need to visit a jeweler. Some may be valuable.

I’m sending a strand of Kate’s pearls to Seoah for her July 4th birthday. Ruthie will look through what’s left. The rest of the jewelry except for whatever proves valuable, if any, gets split between consignment shops: The Mountain Resource Center and a Bailey consignment shop run by a friend of Kate’s. Clothing to the same places. Kate’s wishes.

Goal for Kate’s stuff: August 13th, before what would have been her 77th birthday on August 18th. We’re doing a family gathering that day.

Going to sell or give away some furniture, too. A big display hutch, perhaps a couch though I’ve come up with a possible place for it.

Still clearing up administrative matters from Kate’s death. Final bills. Planning August 18th. Social Security survivor’s benefits. A budget that reflects my haircut from social security and the Presbyterian pension. Dental insurance change.

Worked on bills and the budget yesterday. Will finish today. Calling Social Security. The dental insurance folks. Soon though the bulk of those matters will have resolution.

Pruning stuff becomes the next priority. Or, a concomitant priority. I think part of this reflects a desire to create a space that’s no longer a semi-assisted living residence. Part a desire to design a space for me.

Always in the back of my mind though. “You’re erasing me!” Kate’s words when I rearranged the kitchen to reflect how I preferred to use it. Erasing Kate is the last thing I want. I want to hold her close, to remember her with love. And I do.

Her clothing, her jewelry, her shoes, her stuff, however. No. I don’t want to hold them close. They were accessories to her life, now over. The altar I have for her and her ashes has objects that could, just might, go on an ofrenda for the Day of the Dead this fall.

As I said to the Ancient Ones yesterday, I feel lighter. Still not making any big decisions, not for a good while. Maybe a year.

Still grieving.



This entry was posted in Family, Feelings, Friends, Health, Jefferson County, Memories, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase. Bookmark the permalink.

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