Lughnasa and the Michaelmas Moon
Friday gratefuls: 36 degrees. 88% humidity. RBG’s yahrzeit. Sukkot. Fall equinox. Hearing aid tune up yesterday. Workout. Happy Camper. Spread last night about writing and painting. Astrology. Evocative mirror, like Tarot. The Other World. Ruth. Seoah and Joe.
Sparks of Joy and Awe: THC
Tarot: Hanged Man, Druid Craft. Queen of Bows, The Hare, Wildwood Tarot
RBG’s yahrzeit. She died on September 18th, 2020. Her yahrzeit begins when three stars are visible in the sky tonight. The Israeli Orchestra will play a tribute performance. And I will mourn her, as will many. She was, like Kate, a strong, determined woman who persevered in spite of misogyny and the structural barriers our patriarchy puts in the way of women and girls. Both of their memories is for a blessing.
Here is a paragraph about grief from RBG’s Rabbi. In my experience, true.
“Grief is a complicated animal. I have often described its presence to my congregants as a mountain — sometimes it is across from you and you can see it, sometimes you are climbing it, sometimes you have summited it and sometimes it is just right on top of you. We do not control it, we live with it.” Rabbi Lauren Holtzblatt
Yes. For strong Jewish women. For strong women and girls everywhere, here are two role models.
These two held up their half of the sky. So might we all.
A week’s use, then a tune up on my hearing aid. Saw Amy yesterday. We tweaked the volume, a bit softer. The ambient noise filter. A bit stronger. Both helped a lot. My ear has stopped complaining about a new device. OK, it’s gonna stay, I’ll get used to it.
Afterward I dropped off Kate’s death certificate to Social Security. Then, noticed I got a deposit from Social Security. In the wrong amount. Sigh. Not quite done, I guess.
Put my new tab on Ruby’s license plate. Looked at the grill where the Deer glanced off on Wednesday. The fiberglass has a small crevice on the front left. She almost made it around me. I sure hope She’s ok. If not, Her memory will help me pay closer and better attention.
I’m sleeping well. Some of it may be fatigue from the Orgovyx. Not as bad as it was last week, but still significant. Hot flashes still few, but daily. Manageable. Feels like the workouts are fighting sarcopenia and muscle aches. Another transformation. As Rich Levine’s mentor said, “These days you don’t die from prostate cancer, you die with it.”
That seems to be true, but it doesn’t capture the consequences of having it. Cancer riding in your body, an antagonist who wants to eat you from the inside out. Medical visits, decisions. Various treatments. Each of which has their own knock on effect. Bladder issues from the prostate removal. Colon bleeding from the radiation. The effects of low to no testosterone from the androgen deprivation therapy. It’s not, at least for those of us for whom the primary treatments don’t work, a free ride.
No good cancer.
I’m off in a moment for the Happy Camper to buy my next 80 day supply of Indica edibles. I’ve slept better ever since I started using them. 10 milligrams a night. And, I get a beautiful morning drive toward the Continental Divide, further into the Mountains.