Fall and the Moon of the Thinned Veil
Thursday gratefuls: David and Anthony. Mini-splits. Life after Kate’s death. Kate, always Kate. Jon, who struggles still. MVP folks tonight. Rigel and Kep. Black Mountain. The fading of its gold. The Aspen torch out front of the house. 26 degrees. Snow, more Snow coming. The Seasons. The Change. Jacob wrestling the Angel at the Jabbok Ford. Rilke.
Sparks of Joy and Awe: Agency
Tarot: The Hermit, #9 of the Druid Craft major arcana
An interesting feeling. When I saw the first mini-splits in place, I said, Ah. It felt good to have decided, to have the first two in place. I felt a tug of disloyalty. Two fold. Why didn’t we do this while Kate was alive? I was going to do it this year for her. Second. I’m changing the house, making it mine. Does that mean no longer hers? No. Not at all.
Having the house stained, installing the mini-splits, and a kitchen remodel that I can afford. Me. Making the house mine, yes. That’s ok. I have to live in it. This stuff needed doing, or, if not needed, certainly cried out. And, I was in a listening mood.
That ah reinforced my kitchen redesign plans. I don’t like the current kitchen and I want to like, no, love the kitchen. Cooking became even more important while married to Kate. We shared cooking over our time together, but while she worked and after she got sick, I did most of it. It’s fun. Creative. And, soothing.
Right now I’m eating mostly frozen dinners. They’re quick, easy, and non-nutritious. Not terrible, just. Not good. I want to jump start the hermitage as a place for home cooked meals, grandchildren. Dogs.
At the request of my neighbors, not really to me, but in the interest of dark skies, I’m going to leave the blue lights down. However. I’m going to replace them with a neon sign. I’ve been pondering. In Andover a guy had a crescent neon Moon over his garage. Always loved that.
What would be appropriate? A Moon? A Star? Mountains? An Elk? A Bear? Well, it hit me when I turned over my tarot card this morning, The Hermit. Not the whole scene, just the robed figure, his staff and the lantern. Maybe with The Hermitage beneath. Not sure about that.
The Hermitage has settled in my mind as a name for this house as the Loft did for this space above the garage where I spend the day.
As I’ve said before here, I have a lot of monk in me. A monk without the religious overlay. A hermit. Not a misanthrope. Simply a person who likes to live alone. Perhaps mix with others less than most. And, one who has things to do that are best done alone. Study. Write. Paint.
At least for now this is my fourth phase identity. Hermit.
From the Druid Craft Book: “Turn away from the distractions of the outer World. Seek guidance. In silence and solitude seek new depths and refresh your soul at the source of all life. Key words: Guidance. Retreat. Withdrawal. Meditation.” Like my spirit animal, the moose, who wanders the deep woods alone.
This house and its land is not mine alone. It belongs in equal shares to Jon and Joe after my death. I take that into consideration when I decide what to do.
When David came this morning, the Coyote HVAC guy, he had a helper. Rigel slipped past me, went outside, greeted the helper, then bounded back inside, having done her duty. Kep was beside me.
They are putting up the inside units and running the conduit like material outside that will connect the inside units to the main heat pump. It will go on the outside wall next to my chimney. Today or tomorrow they will do the same here in the loft, which will have its own heat pump.
Not sure when the heat pumps get installed, but the electrician couldn’t come until Tuesday next, so nothing will start working until sparky is done.
I have one bid in on the kitchen. I like it and I can afford it. Bear Creek Design has not come out with theirs yet. But, it will almost certainly be more than I want to pay. However. It may do some things I’d really like to have happen. I’ll wait to see it before I decide. I have a little wiggle room.
Not exactly a chop wood carry water sorta hermitage. Not everybody’s a starets or a Buddhist monk.
Hermitage as I define and want it. A place to live out the fourth phase.