Fall and the Moon of the Thinned Veil
Sunday gratefuls: Joe and his 40th journey on the Great Orbit. Hawai’i. The Philippines. Mark in Bahrain. Travel in the age of Covid. Covid. Prostate cancer. Post-polio. Angry feet. Angry gut. Poetry. The Inferno. Reading. Peak TV. Jon, Ruth, Gabe.
Sparks of Joy and Awe: Thanksgiving with Jon, Ruth, Gabe
Tarot: Two of cups, Druid craft
Tarot and the Tree of Life Spread. Class ended yesterday. Couple of interesting moments. Mark paired us off in Zoom breakout rooms to “read” a Tree of Life spread he had used on a client of his. Gray hair on her, on me, on Mark. I knew less about Tarot and more about Kabbalah, she the opposite.
We worked away, both reticent, unsure. Mark came, said we needed more confidence. We leaned into that and I began to get the feeling I might be able to read the cards. This is me working well outside my comfort zone, I realized. But, working nonetheless. Felt scary, and good, too.
We finished and there was time left so we talked. She mentioned something about life review. I’d forgotten that aspect of aging. Look for patterns. Then, look beneath the patterns to what motivated you, what core value(s) do the patterns reveal?
Talked, laughed. Smiled. It was fun. Made me think, for the first time, that there might be room for another woman in my life. Not right now, not right yet, but maybe. Maybe not, too. It was just, the spark of a fun connection with a woman. Realized how much I enjoyed that.
Even after Kate could no longer speak more than a word at a time, we still communicated I love you with sign language. And it was as heartfelt a communication as we had in our whole marriage. That person to person, man to woman, deep to deep. Important. Missed, I learned yesterday.
Confidence in a new skill and joy in the opposite sex. Enough for the price of admission. Got much more.
Kabbalah. Tarot. Astrology. Advanced Tarot and Kabbalah. Ah. I suddenly know what I’m going to be for Halloween with the Johnson clan. A Magus. A reader of Tarot and the Stars. I’ve got the cloak and the hat and the many decks of cards.
The two of cups. Love between a man and a woman, but let’s be au courant, and just say love. Healing. Meeting of hearts. Stay open. Don’t close down. Yes. But. Not. Right. Now.
Jon, Ruth, and Gabe came up. They may start coming up on Jon’s Saturdays with them. I’ll cook. Which I love to do. We planned Thanksgiving, at least part way. Turkey does not suit the palates. This year, with Ruth’s preference, we’ll go with ham. Jon wants wild rice, stuffing. Ruth wants cranberry sauce, made from scratch. Gabe wants to be here and eat. Same with the dogs.
What do I want? I want family gathered around the dinner table. Next year I hope to have the new dining room ready. Decided I’m going to name it the Sewing Room and leave up much of Kate’s decor. We’ll blend her use of it and a new one, a family space with her energy everywhere.
Jon seems to be gaining some traction on his illness/work situation. Taking more of the Addison’s meds. Fussing with his thyroid meds which have to be taken on a completely empty stomach. He wakes up and takes them in the middle of the night. He has a scoping, top down, bottom up, literally on December 7th. I’ll transport him.
Ruth’s working with a therapist, with meds. May add OCD to her diagnoses. She’s taking weight lifting and enjoying it. It will help her with her mental issues. Bright, gifted, suffering. How’s high school? Boring.
Gabe cut up the salad. He used my Japanese knives, very sharp. He cut close to his fingers, the fingers of a hemophiliac. Made me a little uncomfortable, but I was glad to see him do it. He needs to take risks, get out beyond the cocoon he’s kept himself in.
Each time they come they take a few more things back to Aurora. I got the display cabinet emptied out on Friday. And, gave it away to the cabinet maker who said his daughter would like it for her china. Fine by me. Jon and Ruth selected some vases, a wine decanter. Gabe gathered up the rock collection. I asked him gniessly, to leave some of that since my buddy Tom collected it.
Finished watching the new Dune and went to bed.