Spring and Kate’s Yahrzeit Moon

In the zone. 2019

Thursday gratefuls: Facing the killing. Cold waning, waning. Diane in the Redwoods camping. Kep nuzzling me about 11 pm. Needing to go outside. Mysteries to explore. Quiet days ahead. Presenting at Groveland. Chandelier. Wildfire risk: High. Prostate cancer. Kristie. Joe and Seoah. Hawai’i. Germany.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Recovery



Decided I had to face the dead mice. I’m doing this and I can’t hide. Instead of quickly dumping them in the trash, I put them in an unused dog food bowl, took them outside and tossed them over the fence for predators. Last night about a half an hour before I went to bed a sizzling sound. Then another. A pause. Another. Put the zapper down near a runway for the mice. Where I’ve seen them. Didn’t expect to experience the electrocution. Creeped me out.

Acknowledged this was my responsibility. A problem now for them as well as me. No longer one sided. But the price the mice pay is heavy. Mine could potentially be heavier.

This may seem overly sentimental or just dopey, but it does hurt me to kill anything. Diane and I talked about this yesterday on Zoom. Our hypocrisy in eating meat. Trying to eat less meat. Succeeding. Not gonna get to meat zero though.


Cold finally feels like its letting go. Or, better, my body’s immune response has begun to chill. No more cold viruses to fight. We can return to base. Train for the next attack. Almost rebound time.

Plan to start exercising again today. Slowly. Back at it. I can tell the difference big time in my energy level and in my SOB (shortness of breath as abbreviated by doctors. gotta love it.)

On that note the no cheese, more veggies diet I’ve put myself on, headed toward the Mediterranean, has worked. Constipation eliminated. Thank you, Diane. Better hydration, too. It’s hard to be righteous. Working on it.

No longer interested in longevity. Like many of us, I imagine. Healthspan is way more important. How long can I stay upright, engaged, with agency? In fact, I just wrote Kristie and asked her what I might expect with prostate cancer over time. Will it debilitate me at some point?

That’s important for planning about housing and travel. Though. Still living for today, for this moment. Yet to not be aware of the present’s impact on the future is just silly.


Seeing Joe in Colorado Springs: 2018

The Ukraine situation seems to grow more serious by the day. Gazprom cutting off Bulgaria and Poland. The Russian defense minister rattling nuclear sabers. The US planning to cripple Russia’s army. I can imagine children of a future generation reading about these as the proximate causes of the Third World War. This time with China involved. OMG.

And, Joseph in the Air Force. Possibly headed to Germany, Ramstein AFB, for a NATO assignment. An AWACS squadron. Not sure yet, but if he does go could put him right in it.

Everything far away is near these days.


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