Aligning my chi with the movement of my winter years

Summer and the Aloha Moon


Saturday gratefuls: Leaving tomorrow. Hawaii. Joe. Seoah. Murdoch. The Pacific. Sharks. Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Packing. Doing laundry. Getting the house ready for Susan. Cleaning out my inbox before I go. Jon and Gabe up yesterday. Pulling the mullein. Ruth at camp. Gabe goes tomorrow. Hemophilia Camp. Jon continuing to gain ground. Mani=pedi today.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: 35,000 feet. 550 mph.

Tarot: King of Vessels, Heron

“As a bird that welcomes the dawn and often lives alone, the heron is known for its awareness and spiritual thoughts. This bird, defending ancient secrets, is said to stand at the gate between life and death, acting as a mediator between the Celtic’s journey of the soul to another world and reincarnation.”


Since the Great Bear, #20 of the Major Arcana, on July 10th and coming forward to today, I have pulled all the court cards in the suit of Vessels. The suit of Vessels’ element is water, or emotions. The Great Bear “…is located in the winter solstice on December 21. The element of this card is Earth. The Great Bear is associated with the image of the dark sun, guarding the gateway of the dead and their rebirth, and a still point of renewal and healing.” The Wildwood book, p21.

The Winter Solstice and I are old friends, it being my favorite holiday of the year for maybe two and a half decades. The Great Bear, associated with the gate between death and rebirth and the Winter Solstice, marks the journey I’ve been on since my last trip to Hawai’i. I see his presence here as initiatory, naming my upcoming trip as one of renewal and healing, of accepting both death and rebirth as part of Kate’s journey and my own.

Then the court cards of Vessels. Taken as a whole from Page, Otter, to Knight, Eel, to Queen, Salmon, and to King, Heron they are a powerful reminder that this trip will be an emotional one, focused no longer on grieving like last June, but on family, on the great Water of the World Ocean, on the nature of Islands. The Ancientrail of life after loss becoming life renewed.

The suit of Vessels emphasizes being with and in the heart, a turn my life has taken since Kate’s death. I’m now more aware of my feelings and of others’ feelings. More responsive to them, more guided by them.

The Tarot has enriched my life. Helped me see into myself with greater clarity, with less guardedness. The message of moving from the fecund darkness of the Winter Solstice to the centrality of emotional life is important as I transition at last from life with Kate to life after grieving her death.

The outlines of that life have begun to emerge, yes. With the remodeled house. The rhythm of Ancient Brothers, CBE, family, Kep, Jon, Ruth, and Gabe. Reading. Hiking in the mountains. Better exercise routines. Healthier diet. Starting to travel again.

Wu wei. Let the feelings and the experiences come. Let them enter me, change me. Let them align my chi with the movement of winter years. I am ready.

This entry was posted in Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Hawai'i, Health, Shadow Mountain, Tarot, Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

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