Engulfed

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Pho with Joe and Seoah. Beginning to deaccession my stuff. Large Portmerion to Seoah. Sarah on the road. And home safely. Taking a modest break from finding answers, solving problems. Feeling better. Back to working out. Kep, wet nose pushing my arm this morning. Ruth Hayden. Diane, listening once again to the melodrama that is my life.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Family, in all its forms

 

Microwaved some coffee for Sarah around 6:15 am yesterday. She offered the Jeep to Joe in place of his rental car, so they drove in tandem to the airport. Left here at 6:30. Got a note from Sarah later in the day that she’d made it home. Bath and bed for her, she said.

Joe’s been reading several long documents on probate while we wait for a judge to do something. Anything. We need to move on his finances, his house, cleaning and getting it on the market. Can’t until the judge gives us the go ahead.

Evergreen Memorial Park cremated Jon yesterday. I’ll pick up his ashes, his death certificates, and pay sometime later today. That will put an end to part of the saga. But, as in most deaths, it will also mark the beginning of the longest and hardest aspects of the journey.

Grief has its own time, its own reasons. Ruth and Gabe will have these days seared into their memory, at least those parts of them not obliterated by anguish. Those others who loved Jon, his immediate family, his friends old and new, will grapple with meaning and memories. Many for months, some for a lifetime.

Probate will ensure that the ordinariness of Jon’s life will be brought to our attention often over the next few months.

 

Life of course goes on after a death. In a stream of everyday not noticing those now missing. Garbage gets picked up. Meals cooked. Cars washed. Diapers changed. The grand forward arrow of time engulfs all, as it has since the Hadean eon. Washing dinosaurs and continents away in its flood. Illnesses improve. Or worsen. Love comes and goes.

This often feels insulting, belittlling. It’s not. It is the consolation of Deer Creek Canyon writ large, at planetary scale. And yes, we can go further. The Sun will weaken and expand into a red giant, engulfing even our Earth. In some fashion the universe itself will come to an end. Whether in ice or fire no one really knows.

 

Meanwhile Covid may have begun to lift its heavy hand off my body. One nap yesterday. Energy left toward the end of the day. May it be so.

Brunch with Marilyn and Irv this morning at 10:30.

Seoah and Joe will clean and organize today, finding those things from Kate and mine’s life that would enrich theirs. Seoah has already chosen the large Portmerion soup bowls and serving platters. Hope they find more.

I’ve decided to try to trim my library down to 100 essential books. The number forces me to choose with care. I’ll see what remains after I’ve chosen the first 100 and decide what I need to do next. A book and art potlatch/giveaway will happen probably in early December. Not sure how to organize it yet, but that will come.

Robin comes next Friday for her first three hour session of cleaning out closets, furthering the deaccessioning of Kate and mine’s stuff. That began in earnest after Kate’s death and has proceeded though often slowly ever since.

As I said, life goes on.

 

 

This entry was posted in Coronavirus, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Hawai'i, Hermitage, Shadow Mountain. Bookmark the permalink.

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