I reasoned like a child

Lughnasa and the Harvest Moon

Monday gratefuls: Joe. Such a sweet guy. So competent. A lot of Tolkien lore as well as sports card and comic book knowledge. A lot. Not to mention all that Air Force stuff. Rings of Power. Old photographs. Old stuff. Pruning. Preparing. Waiting on the legal process. Waiting. Jon, r.i.p. Kate, always Kate. Ruth and Gabe. Acting class. MVP. Marti. Robin.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Life. And Death.

 

More food. Carol brought winner, winner chicken dinner. Rice, chicken, vegetables, desert. Joe and I heated it up and watched the Tolkien series on Prime Video, Rings of Power. Very, very well done. This was our prize after an afternoon of sorting through photographs, mostly photographs yesterday.

Laughing again. A few look at this! Can you imagine? Where was this taken? Who is that? You know. The way it goes.

 

More back and forth with Rich’s office on the court filing. Not in yet. Hopefully today. So much work. Pricey, I imagine, even though Rich is always more than fair with me. Even so, it’s our ticket to ending the barricades erected against selling off Jon’s estate.

Getting estimates for cleaning. Valuation. Those can now happen, but no signing of contracts until the Personal Representative has been appointed by a judge. Joe has an appointment today with a potential property manager who could handle the work needed once the court acts.

 

Got to thinking about a phrase, old man. No. I’m a man who is old. Not an old man. Important difference. I am still who I have become on my Soul journey, who my Self has evolved to become. My body is old, yes indeed. How well I know. But not my Soul. Not my Self.

I want to be clear. Neither am I forever young or any of that trite bullshit. No. I am who I have become, the complicated sum and synergy of 75 years of dreams, loves, fears, deaths, work, good and bad luck, decisions, choices, conclusions, reading, all those things that carom off the inner world, shaping and making who I am.

Sometimes I have clarity about who that guy is. This man who is old. Sometimes not. But in all cases now I love him, my Self, my Soul at this point on its path. I decided a while ago I needed to apply to myself the forgiveness and compassion I so easily offer to most others in my life. Maybe it’s not love your neighbor as yourself, but love yourself as you love your neighbor.

We talked about this yesterday in the Ancient Brothers.  Paul asked us to talk about love. Most of my conversation was about the wonderful and amazing family, constructed by so much love, that has emerged after Kate’s death. Not as the only family I love, have loved, but as an example of what this remarkable, this remarkable what?, can do.

What is love? Ah. A question for the ages. Corinthians. Sure. If you notice, in the Corinthians passage, love does indeed look like a verb. Not something static, created once and then in place forever, rather an ongoing series of actions and choices: kindness, patience, humility, peace making, joy inducing, enduring. Not sure who said love is a verb, but it seems right. (Buckminster Fuller did say God is a verb.)

Here’s an insight I just had while re-reading the Corinthians passage below. “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” What if we lifted out that phrase I reasoned like a child and understood it to mean: As I child, I reasoned, but as a man I gave up reason for love. Interesting twist, I think.

 

 

 

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; 10 but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. 13 So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” First Corinthians, 13:1-13

 

 

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