I’m Amazing

Fall and the High Holiday Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shirley Waste Management. The gold in that there Black Mountain. The contrasting blue gray of the early morning Sky. The green of the Lodgepoles laid over that view. Joe. Sarah. Jen. Ruth. Gabe. Jon. Kate, always Kate. Kep’s cold nose, pushing me with it. His failing eye sight. Acting class. Chekovian humanist. Robin. Diane.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Hawai’i


I’m amazing. Another Strasberg exercise. Stand up in front of every one and say, I’m amazing at… This is ego prep. Used by actors to get themselves ready to go onstage. Helpful the night after a performance bombed or to calm the jitters.

A lot of nervous laughter in the room when Tal introduced this exercise. I’m an amazing mother. I’m an amazing mentor. I’m amazing at pushing myself. I’m an amazing lawyer. I have an amazing work ethic. I’m amazing at being alone. (that was me) A lot more and you couldn’t get away with just one I’m amazing. There had to be several.

We’re getting to know each other as an ensemble. And, first, as people. Fascinating. One young woman is very religious, Christian. Another a Romanian-Jew. Another saw her father murder her mother. Choosing joy and resilience. In spite of two other horrific events. One said he’s been climbing the ladder in the business world for most of his life and now he believes he has the ladder against the wrong wall. Whoa.

We also had to spend 15 seconds letting our inner child out. I crawled and cried and shouted with my arms raised. Laughed. A long 15 seconds.

Clapping was better this time. More on cue. I come away from these classes energized. Tal is an amazing teacher. And, yes, he said that introducing the exercise. Well, he actually said great.

Then we read. Because I read a lot the week before, I only had one character, Shablesky. A mean spirited anti-Semite with a buffoonish exterior. He’s drawn though to Sarra, a dying Jewish woman who lives in his rooming house. A fun role.

We have to choose characters we want to play before next week. Homework.

Tal’s last question, What do you need to go on living? My answer, at this point in my life living is enough reason to go on living.


Joe goes home today. Three weeks here. Longest time he’s been away from his job maybe since he’s been in the Air Force. It was great to have Sarah and Seoah here, too, for the first week and a half.

The time with him this last week and a half. The longest we’ve had together, just us, since he left home. Easy and comfortable. Shadow Mountain feels like home to him. And, it feels like home with him in it.

Father and son. Will miss him.

Though. I do prefer living alone. Interesting. I want to be close to him and to Seoah, but I also want to be on my own. I’m amazing at being alone.


Beginning to think that deaccesioning the house will be easy compared to the loft. Not only the books, but the art. The tchotchkes. That sabertooth tiger skull. The Temple Menorah. Oh. My.

Working on the house is first though.




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