Category Archives: assisted Living

assisted Living, Shadow Mountain

Leaving

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And so they leave. Tara and Ajran. Tom, yesterday. This morning BJ. Monday morning, Mary. I’ve enjoyed having people in the house. Not my usual situation. Since Kate died, I’ve lived alone. Content with my own company, and regular get togethers with friends.

Though I’ll be alone for two weeks, when I move to Elk Run, there will be many people around. I intend to guard my solitude, but I also want to meet new people, socialize.

Finding that balance, making exercise regular, walking/caring for Shadow-all critical early on.

After my nap, I’m going upstairs to choose which books I want to take from those in the living room. Many, I imagine.

assisted Living, Family, Fourth Phase, Friends, Shadow Mountain

Coming and going

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Tom left the house about 10, headed for DIA. We had another of our quiet, laid back visits.  35+ years makes for communication at the heart level. So good to see him.

Mary has been up in the loft, pulling books off shelves. A yellow pad has my book title scrawls on it for all 20 bookshelves plus some books on the floor and in freestanding book cases. Curating a smaller library for Elk Run. 5 shelves worth. A lot of books. Shadow accompanies her. A helper.

BJ is here, continuing her and Pammy’s search for a place outside a trans-hostile Idaho. Hope they find something that fits them.

Thought about going out to breakfast with Tom. Nope. When planning to heat up leftover moo shu pork, I turned quickly, my hip gave out. Tom grabbed me. Thanks, dude. Not yet ready to be away from home.

Melissa’s new hours start on Monday. She’ll be here from 3 to 5. I plan to have her make an evening meal, something for breakfast, and a sandwich for lunch. She’ll also do some laundry, help me shower.

Looks like Joe and Seoah can’t be here until the last week of September. Good to see them anytime.

A Dopy Don stiff wave good-bye.

assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Alone. Again.

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Days of many visitors. Tom flew in yesterday. BJ got in later in the evening. Mary’s time here ends this coming Monday. Adrian is in Holland; Tara in Barcelona.

Tom’s here for one of our visits. He rang the bell at the Mayo radiation clinic outside Northfield. All radiation completed. Last week. Always so good to see him.

BJ drove to Bailey this morning. Looking at more houses with Robert. One of them has 6,000+ square feet! She’ll be here till Saturday; Tom leaves Friday. End result? On Monday I’ll be alone for the first time since May.

Except. Melissa will be here for a couple of hours in the afternoon, 3-5, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday in addition to her regular hours on Tuesday and Friday. Meals. Laundry. Trash.

Mary starts pulling books this afternoon. We meet Robin tomorrow at 2 to go over next steps. After the 16th Robin and Matt will work together to clear out the house, stage it, and get it on the market.

Rock on.

assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Getting ready

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Preparations for the move to Elk Run continue. Robin found out I can have a microwave and coffee maker, but no electric blanket. Also, the apartment will be warmer than I like. I’ll have to adapt.

Ordered my new adjustable frame bed from Dreamcloud. With their premier hybrid mattress. La di dah. It will ship directly to Elk Run.

My new address:

31383 Frost Way, #308

Evergreen, Co.  80439

I love it. Elk Run on Frost Way in Evergreen. Cool.

Also, Robin showed me the final layout for my furniture. Will be cozy and easy to use.

I’ve spent two days now with photographs of my library’s bookshelves. I look at the volumes, decide which ones to take to Elk Run, write them down. A long, long list. Mary will pull them off the shelves and put them on the floor. When the packer comes, she’ll put them into boxes.

I’ll need a second pass to see what I want to store. After that? Donate or sell.

Ruth has selected what she wants. I’m storing it for her.

More on the move to come.

assisted Living, Family, Fourth Phase, Memories, Minnesota, Shadow Mountain

Doorways

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Mary came on June 2nd. She will have been on Shadow Mountain for almost three months when she leaves on August 31st. Her timing was fortuitous. I needed buoying up and her simple act of showing up helped. A lot.

About a month later her presence proved critical as I hit the E.R. at St. Anthony’s and didn’t come home until 27 days later. Mary took care of Shadow and the house while  I recovered.

She and her partner, Guru, have demonstrated with actions what family can mean. Thanks, Mary.

 

We will slip into a transition zone, if we haven’t already. A zone in which I am leaving Shadow Mountain, but not yet; and, where I am moving into Elk Run but not there. Between. A liminal space in which old ways and purposes can transform.

I’m going to let those changes emerge as Shadow Mountain fades and Elk Run comes into focus. Three weeks.

We all have these threshold moments in our lives. Another occurred for me in 1970. My job, rag cutter at Fox River Paper, offered no intellectual stimulation. Which I need. When Reverend Curtis Herron broached the idea of seminary, I laughed. At first.

Later, while jumping into the rotary boiler to pack in the cut rags, I realized. What am I doing? Judy and I were in a bad patch in our open marriage. There was no future in cutting rags. Seminary didn’t seem like a bad idea.

Twenty or so years later I left the Presbyterian ministry to write novels. (Thanks to Kate.) That threshold moment in Appleton, Wisconsin had steered me onto a surprising life path.

What threshold moments do you recall?

 

assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Take That

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Books. Mine. Which ones to take with me? Which ones to store? Sell or donate. Starting this morning with the revolving bookcase next to my chair. Later today. The main level. Only 24 days to packing day, September 15th.

These sort of questions dominate my thoughts these days. Take the Saber Tooth Tiger skull? The human skull? How about those stone sculptures from Angkor Wat? Definitely the Chinese teaware and the sumi-e brushes. Judaica.

Curating 79 years down to a few objects, books, furniture means making hard choices and not looking back. Most of my books will be sold or donated. Objet d’art like the Russian lacquer box, the Stay Puff marshmallow man. Most will be sold or donated.

Glad I’ll be at Elk Run. Second guessing my choices would lead to chaos. Cutting the cord to these things will free me in a manner similar to selling the house. Opening space for my life lived forward.

Moving company, Cowboy Moving. Yee haw.

Soon.

Aging, assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Health

A Change Is Coming

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Pathway clear. Financial advisors. Yes.

I’ll move into Elk Run the third week of September. Lot of work to do between now and then. Choose books. Do all the moving chores like change of address for mail and for various accounts: bank, amazon, financial advisors. Pick clothes. Buy a dresser, a bed.

Elk Run requires a medical assessment. Michelle, the head nurse, will do that sometime in the next couple of weeks. R.J., financial advisor, recommends holding off on filing a long term care claim until that’s all done.

Robin, of Spacewranglers, will see to putting furniture and art and family related material in storage. The rest will get sold, donated, or put in the trash.

The thought of a new, smaller space in a secure place, makes me feel eager to move. I want less responsibility, more time for reading, listening to music, writing.

Mary has been working hard, very hard. Numbering bookshelves. Sorting old photographs. Measuring rooms. When she goes, the house will have less energy. Less love.

Pneumonia triggered all of this. It left me weakened and chastened as a man who could care for himself. A change became necessary.

Joseph, Mary, long time CBE friends all encouraged me. Joseph found Elk Run. Mary reorganized my material life. CBE friends uniformly expressed concern about my living alone after my time in the hospital. I heard them.

A change is coming. And soon.

 

assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Getting Ready

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Today is an important day. I meet (over zoom) with RJ and Michelle of Bond and Devick, my financial advisors. We’ll discuss how affordable Elk Run is for me. I hope I get a thumbs up because I’m excited about the move.

Robin, of Spacewranglers, brought me the apartment layout  with the furniture I want arranged in it. To scale. To our mutual surprise as many as five full bookshelves will fit. I’ll be able to take more books than I thought possible. Also, my desktop computer and its desk.

After getting more than one recommendation for it, I’ve decided to buy an adjustable frame full-sized bed. Helps with sleep and getting out of bed in the am. So I hear anyhow.

Looking forward to a cozy, book and thought filled home without forest fire or home maintenance issues. With cooked food available at all meals.

Mary and I continue to workout twice a day. A habit I will carry with me to my new place. A necessity.

assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Slow Down

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On an up note. Bowels seem to be calming. What a relief. To do: buy more veggies and fruit.

Robin came yesterday. The things I want to take with me. This chair in which I write each morning. Stickley chair with wide, wooden arms. Two arts and crafts standing lamps. Two arts and craft table lamps. All four done in stained glass. Revolving book stand. Large arts and crafts bookcase. Art. Will depend on what kind of wall space. TV, mounted. Books.

There will be other things of course. Silverware and dishes. That Bresnahan ceramic. A few odds and ends. I plan to buy a new, full-sized bed. Shadow’s food, bowls. Toys.

All this relies on a positive analysis from Bond and Devick concerning my ability to absorb the costs even without long term care insurance.

Robin measures everything, tries to make it all fit while maintaining flow. I’ll find out next week what she’s discovered.

I’m excited, more than ready. A new, slower, more contemplative life, more reading, writing. Contact with friends and family.

There will, too, be the Dopy Don show. Now featuring gauche architecture, lots of gilding, a 747 as a gift. Is it corruption if you just do it?