Lugnasa \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Garlic Planting Moon<\/p>\n
When faced with someone else\u2019s incomprehensible slang:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cWell, well, well, well. If it isn\u2019t fat, stinking billygoat Billy-Boy in poison. How art thou, thy globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou.\u201d \u2013\u00a0A Clockwork Orange<\/em>, Anthony Burgess<\/p>\n To liven up a dull conversation:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cIf your brains were dynamite there wouldn\u2019t be enough to blow your hat off.\u201d \u2013\u00a0Timequake<\/em>, Kurt Vonnegut<\/p>\n For telling someone to get lost, but nicely:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI desire that we be better strangers.\u201d –\u00a0As You Like It<\/em>, William Shakespeare<\/p>\n For when someone is quite below your notice, and you want to let them know:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cHe is simply a hole in the air.\u201d \u2013\u00a0The Lion and the Unicorn<\/em>, George Orwell<\/p>\n For dispelling any illusions:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t fool yourself, my dear. You\u2019re much worse than a bitch. You\u2019re a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.\u201d \u2013\u00a0The Fountainhead<\/em>, Ayn Rand<\/p>\n For disagreements over Magic cards\/games of Dungeons and Dragons\/cosplay:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cThe man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.\u201d \u2013\u00a0A Feast for Crows<\/em>, George R.R. Martin<\/p>\n For morons (read: everybody):<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI told him he didn\u2019t even care if a girl kept all her kings in the back row or not, and the reason he didn\u2019t care was because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.\u201d\u00a0–\u00a0The Catcher in the Rye<\/em>, J.D. Salinger<\/p>\n When only the juiciest alliteration will do (or when cursing out children):\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYou blithering idiot! \u2026 You festering gumboil! You fleabitten fungus! \u2026 You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!\u201d \u2013\u00a0Matilda<\/em>, Roald Dahl<\/p>\n For someone who thinks they\u2019re better than you:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cThis liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion!\u201d \u2013\u00a0A Confederacy of Dunces<\/em>, John Kennedy Toole<\/p>\n For bitter arguments in Parisian bars:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI misjudged you\u2026 You\u2019re not a moron. You\u2019re only a case of arrested development.\u201d \u2013\u00a0The Sun Also Rises<\/em>, Ernest Hemingway<\/p>\n For proving that you are\u00a0far<\/em>\u00a0loftier than your opponent and (channeling\u00a0Downton Abbey<\/em>\u2018s Dowager Countess):<\/strong><\/p>\n Cecily: This is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade I call it a spade.<\/p>\n Gwendolen: I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different. \u2013\u00a0The Importance of Being Earnest<\/em>, Oscar Wilde<\/p>\n When only the most cinematic and recognizable insult will do:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cMy dear, I don\u2019t give a damn.\u201d \u2013\u00a0Gone With The Wind<\/em>, Margaret Mitchell<\/p>\n When you want to cut to the core as quickly as possible:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not worth the trouble it\u2019d\u00a0take<\/em>\u00a0to hit you. You\u2019re not worth the powder it\u2019d take to blow you\u00a0up<\/em>. You\u2019re an\u00a0empt<\/em>y,\u00a0hol<\/em>low fucking\u00a0shell<\/em>\u00a0of a woman\u2026\u201d \u2013\u00a0Revolutionary Road<\/em>, Richard Yates<\/p>\n For long evenings of verbal sparring:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cIn my mind, Martha, you are buried in cement right up to your neck. No\u2026 right up to your nose\u2026 that\u2019s much quieter.\u201d\u00a0–\u00a0Who\u2019s Afraid of Virginia Woolf<\/em>, Edward Albee<\/p>\n When you need the ultimate insult:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cCritic!\u201d \u2013\u00a0Waiting for Godot<\/em>, Samuel Beckett<\/p>\n For insufferable suck ups:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cShe would of been a good woman\u2026 if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.\u201d \u2013 \u201cA Good Man is Hard to Find,\u201d Flannery O\u2019Connor<\/p>\n When you\u2019ve finally decided to say what you\u2019re thinking:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYou bloody old towser-faced boot-faced totem-pole on a crap reservation.\u201d \u2013\u00a0Lucky Jim<\/em>, Kingsley Amis<\/p>\n For theoretical disagreements that you\u2019d really like to turn into personal attacks:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a nasty view of things, Gerald\u2026 and no wonder you are afraid of yourself and your own unhappiness.\u201d \u2013\u00a0Women in Love<\/em>, D.H. Lawrence<\/p>\n For that moment that comes in every young man\u2019s life when he needs to quit his band and get a job:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cBarry, you\u2019re over thirty years old. You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey.\u201d \u2013\u00a0High Fidelity<\/em>, Nick Hornby<\/p>\n When nothing else has worked, and only a sheer avalanche of adjectives will suffice:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cThou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver\u2019d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mungril bitch.\u201d –\u00a0King Lear<\/em>, William Shakespeare<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Lugnasa \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Garlic Planting Moon When faced with someone else\u2019s incomprehensible slang: \u201cWell, well, well, well. If … Continue reading For People Who Love Quotes, But Not People<\/span>