Summer \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Healing Moon<\/p>\n
After three months of seriousness, distraction, medical visits and surgery I’ve told Kate many times I just want my old life back. And I meant it. Or, at least what I meant was, I want out of this pit of uncertainty and back to a world where tomorrow is not a question mark.<\/p>\n
Now, three days after the surgery, sort of the top of a bell curve of anxiety, I see I was wrong about wanting my old life back. The me who lived that old life-writing, Latin, family, hikes, friends-is gone. My pre-April 14th self has vanished, the one who had those priorities. That’s not say there aren’t continuities, yes, there are, but it is to say that my post-cancer diagnosis and treatment self is different, substantially different, I think.<\/p>\n
This awareness is only coming to me now so I can’t see with any clarity those differences. They will emerge as I live into the fall and winter. But they exist and want to claim their own ascendancy as time moves forward.<\/p>\n
I did not expect this, but in retrospect it makes sense.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summer \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Healing Moon After three months of seriousness, distraction, medical visits and surgery I’ve told Kate many times I just want my old life back. And I meant it. Or, at … Continue reading Old Self Gone<\/span>