Fall\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Harvest Moon<\/p>\n
This post is for my buddy who’s about to embark on a third phase move. I told him I’d go back through my notes (posts) and see if I could find helpful ideas. This is a very edited sequence, from near the first notion of moving through arrival in Colorado. They’re fragments of longer posts, all from the year 2014, starting roughly in April, when we decided Colorado was in our immediate future. The bold<\/strong> first word indicates an entry.<\/p>\n Two\u00a0main ideas in here (IMHO) are live in the move and move stupid. Live in the move<\/strong> <\/em>means, stay focused on what needs to get done, not fantasizing about the future or agonizing about the past. Move the process forward, don’t stew. Move stupid\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>means that the tsunami of decisions, actions, even staying focused takes energy and makes you, at times, dull. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes, differences of opinion, problem solving. It goes with the territory.<\/p>\n We used A1 moving, a Stevens Van Line company and were happy with them. We also used a local outfit, SortTossPack, that helped us develop a strategy for eliminating things, then helped us pack early. They took items we didn’t want to move and sent them to their consignment shop. We made a little money from that and got rid of things that were in our way.<\/p>\n Here are the fragments. They end in December 2014:<\/p>\n Both<\/strong> of us have experienced moving\/gardening fatigue this week. Living in the move helps, but it doesn\u2019t eliminate the stress of so many decisions large and small and the feeling of hanging over a precipice neither able to fall or retreat… <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s<\/strong> a relief to share these feelings, to know that your partner has the slows as well as you. Of course, that\u2019s the definition of a good relationship, sharing the journey, the ancientrail of marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n This<\/strong> is a chance to prune my work over the last third of my life, clear out the branches that have grown across each other. Take out that large branch that flourished then died.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s<\/strong> the decisions that slow me down. And the memories. And sometimes the memories make the decisions hard. Sometimes not.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Interesting.<\/strong> I\u2019ve been living in the move<\/span><\/em>. Too much. Pushing to get stuff packed, get the exterior work, house and grounds, underway, looking at movers and thinking about storage. Pushing. Turning on my phone and my jambox, listening to country music, Porgy and Bess, the blues, Coltrane while I fill boxes. Stuffing my life in liquor boxes, slapping on red or green tape, some packing tape, stacking them up. In the move. In it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A<\/strong> weariness has affected both Kate and me. I think I know its source: the move. We\u2019ve pushed in several directions: decluttering, packing, fixing up the house\u2026 Yes, we\u2019ve chosen this. And, yes, perhaps even more important, we\u2019re trying to pace ourselves. Which, btw, I think we\u2019ve done pretty well. But the pace has been constant. Add in the growing season and four dogs. You get the picture. Not to mention that we both have had our medicare cards for more than a year.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n SortTossPack<\/span><\/p>\n Kate<\/strong> said this morning that she had surreal moments with the move. Me, too. We both work along, packing, getting other matters taken care of but the move itself feels unreal, as if a mirage.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Saw<\/strong> an ad for Army Strong. Well, I\u2019m move stupid<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When<\/strong> there\u2019s a lot of details to sort out in something, I focus, a form of move-stupid<\/span><\/em>, and become almost affectless, plowing through things I don\u2019t like to do, but things that stand between here and there.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Our<\/strong> process continues to serve us well, keeping us just ahead of looming deadlines and schedules. It\u2019s been a joint\u00a0effort all the way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Back<\/strong> to packing this morning, but the heart\u2019s not in it. It\u2019s not a reluctance to move on, not at all. Rather, it\u2019s a weariness, evident today. Push, push, push.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The<\/strong> trick is to just stay in the moment. Let the day\u2019s packing be sufficient there unto.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Packing<\/strong> takes a toll in these last days. Not sure why, but each day I spend a good deal of time packing really wears me out. Not physically, but emotionally. It\u2019s not resistance to the move itself, as I\u2019ve said here before, rather I think it feels as if the packing has gone on too long.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Things<\/strong> feel chaotic, not out of control, but easy to tip over in that direction. Then, there\u2019s the I can see the other side from here feeling and things tip back into balance, or as much balance as this part of the move allows…<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I<\/strong> don\u2019t know whether the speed is good or bad, probably neither, but I do know that once the decision was firm, the desire to execute\u00a0it\u00a0swiftly grew. At the same time we have wanted a measured pace, one that allowed us to pack easily<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Today<\/strong> packers will finish up what we didn\u2019t get done or didn\u2019t intend to get done. Tomorrow, too, if necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This<\/strong> is, for me, a difficult stretch. Lots of strangers, lots of activity in the house, details. Unfinished business that has to get done by a deadline. Yikes.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Decisions<\/strong> now are summary. Yes, that goes in trash. No, we\u2019re going to put that in the trash, too. Trash wins all ties.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The<\/strong> sleep deprivation demon has come out to play the last couple of nights. Wake up for any reason and, wham! \u2026 Just like that your mind is awake and generating a list of things you hadn\u2019t even considered up to that point. How energetic of you, mind.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019ve<\/strong> noticed, more in recent years, that physical activity which had once been, if not easy, at least doable, taxes me, makes my muscles quiver slightly. Weakness like this has a similar effect to sleeplessness. A doubled effect in this instance. The lowered ability to do work-decline in muscle strength-also affects my sense of maleness. I\u2019m weak, unable to do (fill in the blank), and therefore less of a man. Do I know this is nonsense? Intellectually, yes. Politically, yes. Emotionally? Not so much.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n We<\/strong> had help, lots of help. Two different companies helped us pack. Various individuals helped us get our property ready for sale. Realtors have helped us find this house we have now and are helping us sell the one in Minnesota.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And<\/strong> always packing. List making. Lots of communicating, mostly with each other, but with wider family\u00a0and friends. E-mails, phone calls. More packing, always. Up to the day the movers came and finished the packing for us.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n So<\/strong> many decisions, big and small. Working out how to live in the move rather than constantly projecting ourselves out of the present and into the future, so tempting, so damaging.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n A<\/strong> major goal of living-in-the-move<\/span><\/em> as an idea was to tamp down the holds and let the\u00a0anxiety leak out in controlled doses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Fall\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Harvest Moon This post is for my buddy who’s about to embark on a third phase move. … Continue reading A Moving Experience<\/span> Since<\/strong> making the decision a little over a month ago, we\u2019ve made concrete step after concrete step, each one headed west toward the Rockies. And each one makes a bit more excited. Living in the move, instead of Minnesota or Colorado, has let me go with the process as it flows, allowing my daily actions to flow with it, rather than struggling against difficulties. So far that seems to be working fine.<\/h3>\n
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William Morris<\/strong> has proved helpful as I make decisions about what to move to Colorado and what we want to sell or donate. His principle, have nothing in your home which is not beautiful or useful, sound on its own in my opinion (and one I\u2019ve honored in the breach for the most part), makes wonderful sense when sorting through, say, crystal.<\/h5>\n
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All<\/strong> of this living in the move<\/span><\/em> means\u00a0staying in the flow toward Colorado, realizing where the energy naturally goes at this stage and following it. Putting our shoulders behind work at the time it needs to be done means we use the momentum of change to our benefit. Easier than fighting against it, trying to push things to move faster. Then the momentum of change works against us.<\/h5>\n