{"id":5122,"date":"2010-01-08T11:20:06","date_gmt":"2010-01-08T17:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/?p=5122"},"modified":"2016-05-16T10:24:41","modified_gmt":"2016-05-16T16:24:41","slug":"ole-and-sven-go-to-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/?p=5122","title":{"rendered":"Ole and Sven Go To Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

Winter\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Waning Moon of Long Nights<\/p>\n

Scurrilous, obviously the\u00a0 product of\u00a0 a Northern Wisconsinite too long in the ice-house shanty with the heater turned on and the flame off:<\/p>\n

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than
\nskunks, and go to Hell. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
He says to them “Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?” <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Ole replies, “Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, <\/span><\/div>\n
da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance <\/span><\/div>\n
ta varm up a little bit, ya know.” <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns
\nup the heat even more. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When he returns to the room of the two guys from\u00a0Minnesota,<\/span><\/div>\n
the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The devil is astonished and exclaims, “Everyone down here
\nis in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?” <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Sven replies, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather <\/span><\/div>\n
up dere at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da <\/span><\/div>\n
veather’s dis nice.” <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Finally he comes up with the answer. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all
\ntheir lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. <\/span><\/div>\n
The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles <\/span><\/div>\n
are hanging everywhere, and\u00a0people are shivering so bad that <\/span><\/div>\n
they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. <\/span><\/div>\n
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber <\/span><\/div>\n
hats, and mittens. They are\u00a0jumping up and down, cheering, <\/span><\/div>\n
yelling and screaming like mad men.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand, when
\nI turn up the heat you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and
\nyou’re still happy. What is wrong with you two?” <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
They both look at the devil in surprise and say,
\n“Vell, don’t ya know, if hell is froze over, dat must
\nmean da Vikings von da Super Bowl”<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Winter\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Waning Moon of Long Nights Scurrilous, obviously the\u00a0 product of\u00a0 a Northern Wisconsinite too long in the ice-house shanty with the heater turned on and the flame off: Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says … Continue reading Ole and Sven Go To Hell<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1979,754],"tags":[96],"class_list":["post-5122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-sport","tag-vikings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5122"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5122\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41676,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5122\/revisions\/41676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}