{"id":54348,"date":"2021-10-07T08:10:27","date_gmt":"2021-10-07T14:10:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/?p=54348"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:14:08","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T14:14:08","slug":"grief-calling-to-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/?p=54348","title":{"rendered":"Grief calling to grief"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Fall and the Moon of the Thinned Veil<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-54350\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-420x315.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"389\" height=\"292\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-420x315.jpg 420w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-744x558.jpg 744w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083158-2048x1536.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 389px) 100vw, 389px\" \/>Thursday gratefuls: Kate, always Kate. Sandy, a sweet visit. Rigel&#8217;s skin problem. Joseph, on his way. The three Mule Deer Does that visited our yard yesterday afternoon. A very cool Night. The house all pretty. The mini-splits coming next week. And, the kitchen remodel is on! Fiddler on the Roof this weekend with Jon, Ruth, and Gabe. The Hermitage.<\/p>\n<p>Sparks of Joy and Awe: Learning<\/p>\n<p>Tarot: Page of Arrows, the Wren.\u00a0 Wildwood Deck<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-54352\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-420x315.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-420x315.jpg 420w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-744x558.jpg 744w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/20211006_083447-2048x1536.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 420px) 100vw, 420px\" \/>Got the green light from my financial advisor for the kitchen remodel plus the mini-splits. With the house staining completed on Tuesday these three will inspire me, I hope, to better cooking, make it possible to sleep in the heat and pollen season, and feel good when I turn in the drive coming home.<\/p>\n<p>Our pre-Covid housekeeper, Sandy, came yesterday. She&#8217;s a smart, streetwise, tough, empathic lady. We talked a long time. Kate was a mother-figure to her.<\/p>\n<p>Covid wrecked housekeeping\/cleaner&#8217;s businesses. We paid Sandy for a month&#8217;s work because of that. Jackie, our hair stylist, too. While Covid was a nuisance for Kate and me, largely, it was a devastating loss for many small businesses, especially solo enterprises like Sandy and Jackie&#8217;s.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-14147\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/lens1635638_1316755611angel_grief_rome-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/>Sandy moved to Maryland to be with friends and family. Then found herself trapped there by Covid restrictions and strapped finances. She followed Kate&#8217;s decline through Caring Bridge. And felt awful because she missed Kate, wanted to see her, but couldn&#8217;t. We talked and cried together. Her grief signalling mine to come to the surface.<\/p>\n<p>Sandy has a benign (?) brain tumor that pushed her brain stem to the side and a platelet disorder that might be a sort of blood cancer. Difficult health issues she gets. Her life has had steep valleys, few peaks. A son in difficulty in California. Her bio mom and her adopted mom&#8217;s deaths. The loss of her successful cleaning business. A long period of addiction.<\/p>\n<p>It feels so peaceful in here. When I came before, there was always this sadness. Kate was holding on, but barely. Now though it&#8217;s calm here. I know Kate&#8217;s happy for you.<\/p>\n<p>She wanted you to have this time, this peace. She&#8217;s smiling, her suffering&#8217;s over. And she&#8217;s watching you.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-8912\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/670handbookafterlife-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/>Sandy was very confident about Kate&#8217;s presence in an amazing, warm place. As is Jackie. I take comfort in their comfort. Difficult for me though. I&#8217;d like to believe it. Maybe the reincarnation, soul business could explain it? Oh, the skeptic in me hangs on with his fingertips. Hell, no, his whole hands. I&#8217;ll leave it at don&#8217;t know.<\/p>\n<p>Life here in the Hermitage has changed in the last month or so. The inner weathervane turned toward calm skies, cool days, and quiet nights. The fourth phase.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-5317\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/ovidmeta-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/>Leaning into the hidden, the mysterious, the unknown. The fantastic and the fabulous. Leaning into love, longtime friendships, family, dogs. Home where my heart really, really is. A time of the spirit, a time of transition from life to death.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fall and the Moon of the Thinned Veil Thursday gratefuls: Kate, always Kate. Sandy, a sweet visit. Rigel&#8217;s skin problem. Joseph, on his way. The three Mule Deer Does that visited our yard yesterday afternoon. A very cool Night. The house all pretty. The mini-splits coming next week. And, the kitchen remodel is on! Fiddler &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/?p=54348\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Grief calling to grief<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,3967,4394,11,4383,13,4317,4393],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-feelings-2","category-fourth-phase","category-friends","category-kabbalah","category-our-land","category-shadow-mountain","category-tarot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54348"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54353,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54348\/revisions\/54353"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ancientrails.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}