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<\/a>Kavannah: Areyvut. Mutual responsibility.\u00a0 All humans are accountable one to another.<\/p>\nTarot: King of Vessels, Heron. Quiet presence. Emotional balance. Waiting for the trial to begin.<\/p>\n
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One brief shining: I want my cancer on its heels. Samantha, trial coordinator, called. I need to go back in, redo an EKG, sign more papers. Tired of all the preparatory work. I want to start the trial.<\/p>\n
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Trial. I’ve had jury duty several times. All in Minnesota. A lot of sitting around, reading. Waiting. I served on one jury, an unmemorable case. We found the defendant guilty.<\/p>\n
Juries fulfill the promise, made two-hundred and fifty years ago, that I will not judged by aristocracy, but by a jury of my peers.<\/p>\n
This clinical trial brings together a jury of my peers.<\/p>\n
The full trial lasts nine months. The sentence will be handed down by my body and the actinium’s aim.<\/p>\n
No guarantees. My participation is voluntary.<\/p>\n
You could call this a capital trial. Some of us will get a reprieve. Hope I’m one of those.<\/p>\n
Science. I had polio, measles, and mumps. Polio was long ago, when I was about a year and half old. Yet it continues to impact me at 79. My head drops. My left diaphragm is paralyzed.<\/p>\n
I remember mom coming in to check on me. A dark room. I was sensitive to light. Mom would bring me soup or a sandwich, lay a cool rag over my forehead. Measles.<\/p>\n
Here’s the thing. When I was eight years old, I had to stand in line in Thurston Elementary. To get a shot. The polio vaccine. I felt this as a keen injustice since I’d already had polio. Result? By 1979, twenty-five years later, polio no longer menaced the U.S.<\/p>\n
If only I’d had the MMR vaccine, first available in 1971, I could have avoided the measles and the mumps.<\/p>\n
I know, from direct experience, the need for vaccines.<\/p>\n
I have benefitted from medical science. I may have been born too early for the polio and MMR vaccines, but I’m pleased my son Joseph could get them.<\/p>\n
Not to mention the many different protocols that have extended my life after my cancer diagnosis. I feel good about participating in the clinical trial. It’s medical science which will\u00a0 help not only me, but thousands of men in the future.<\/p>\n
I’m living proof that medical science matters. At the most personal level.<\/p>\n
I’ll go in.
\nRepeat my EKG.
\nSign the papers.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Spring and the Moon of Liberation Friday gratefuls: Cool night. Starting my morning. Tamales. Cheeseburger. Mark in Hafar. Mary in Melbourne. Joe and Seoah in Osan. Rene Good. Alex Pretti. Say their names. Sparks of Joy and Awe:\u00a0 Morning Darkness Kavannah: Areyvut. Mutual responsibility.\u00a0 All humans are accountable one to another. Tarot: King of … Continue reading The Trial<\/span>