Have contacted three realtors and set up appointments with two: Linda and Robert for next week. Understand right now that if I sell within two years of Kate’s death I get Kate’s capital gains exemption as well as mine for a total of $500,000. That could push me to get out of here by or before April 12th of next year.

Talk to RJ on Tuesday. Get a better handle on overall finances and some other matters before I get down to hard choices.

Right now the likely selling price of the house is the biggest unknown, so I want to get as clear a picture as I can, soonest.

I’ve been relaxed about the process, giving myself years or until Kep dies, but that might not be practical. If it isn’t, I’ll have to find a place that will accept Kep.

Things to do:  Choose a realtor to work with.

Follow recommendations

Get in touch with rental agents in Honolulu

Get in touch with movers

Begin serious, serious pruning. Right now.

Talk with Jon, Ruth, Gabe

Talk with Joe and Seoah

Investigate Reform Temple and UU in Honolulu

Get dog credentialing info from Joe



Quite a bit further along. I chose Robert Martin of Compass Realty. He’s already at work. I see his stager week after next. The selling price is enough to meet my Hawai’i needs.

I have a senior move manager who lives nearby. Robin. I’ve met with her once and will see her again Monday afternoon. She’ll make sure I leave with everything packed, sold, or donated.

I have with talked with Ruth and Gabe. They understand. Jon died last Sunday. Which has ratcheted up the angst around the move, but I have good clarity about what I want to do.

Joe and Seoah are here now to help with the aftermath of Jon’s death. We’ve discussed this move and they’re going to be right with me as I decide. In October I’m going to Joe’s pin on ceremony. Will stay two weeks, looking at property and rentals. Celebrating his 41st birthday and watching him become a Lt Col.

Current plan: House on the market in February, move in March with Kep. The prime driver here is the additional capital gains tax exemption I get from Kate if I sell before April 12, 2023. February is a good market time according to local realtors.

Spoke with RJ, clarified my current and future financial position. All good.


9/20 Marty came. The stager. A porkpie hat and a Range Rover. Upbeat. Task focused. Taking pictures with her phone. Running commentary on this. Love the industrial look. Oh, Stickley. I have this, too. What a great space. Let’s move that bookcase up to the formal dining room. Maybe that chair back upstairs. Yes. Love that painting. My eyes keep being drawn to it. Can those strips come up?

She’ll send me a staging sheet by Monday. Joe came along for the tour. He just sold his house in Georgia. Flush with real estate knowledge. Engaged now with Jon’s house and Dad’s.

Hawai’i moving closer. Still distant, but pieces of the project coming to life. Robin comes next week for our first three hour session. Pruning. Deaccessioning my life in stuff. Purging. Suppose it’s sort of like constipation, all this stuff. Can’t move on until it clears out.

I can hear the waves of the Pacific beating on the North Shore of Oahu. Aloha Rocky Mountains.


Continuing to move ahead as the Jon saga enters middle stages. Robin comes next week to start the deaccessioning of stuff. I’ve yet to start winnowing my books, head too stuffed with feelings. But I will get started soon.

Joe and I have gone through most of the photographs which now need to be boxed and/or put in the two cabinets Kate and I bought for the purpose. This weekend, most likely.

I’ve throttled back looking for places, gonna focus on that in late October when I’m there for Joe’s promotion. Still waiting on Kayak to say buy for my tickets. I have Emily lined up for Kep.

Lots of emotions riding the winds of Jon’s death, buffeting me, but not setting me off course.

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