Family, Fourth Phase, Friends, Travel

Today

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Adrian leaves the U.S. on Friday, headed for Holland, his brother’s place in the heart of Amsterdam. Tara and Julia (their middle child) will join him briefly before heading out on a week and a half long trip together.

The night after he arrives Adrian and his brother will board his brother’s canal boat and head to a spot close to a floating barge with classical musicians who present, this one night a year, a program involving musicians from various orchestras and ensembles. A lottery allots spaces near the barge. “And,” Adrian said, “Every year my brother wins a spot.”

After Holland, Adrian flies to Costa Rica where Tara will join him a few days later. They have reservations at six air bnb’s over the course of a year. This allows them to sample various location before a place to settle down. Quite the adventure.

After they leave, Mary stays till August 30th when she flies to Singapore where she will meet Guru for one last stay in a favorite hotel-like building, the Raffles Town Club. She put Kate and me up there in 2016. Nicest rooms I’ve ever had.

I feel good. I’m getting things done. Working out. Not sure where cancer is right now. In a couple of weeks. Eating well. Reading a lot.

Meeting with financial folks on Wednesday. A focus will be on my move to Elk Run. Robin comes tomorrow to tell me about how my stuff will fit into the apartment. Excited about about both sessions.

Ruth and David came up. A good, long conversation about college, David’s job hunt.

 

 

 

Colorado, Jefferson County, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, The Move, The West, Weather +Climate

Moving On

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Smokey the Bear has his finger on low fire danger. The North American Monsoon produces rain and thunder storms, as the mountains cool and condense water from the Gulf of California and Gulf of Mexico brought here by shifting winds. This was the old pattern which made early July into September a safer wildfire season. Glad to see it asserting itself. May it continue.

I like the rainy afternoons, the sounds of thunder in the distance. Evokes Midwest memories.

The Midwest, my home for most of my life, has a hick reputation among the coastal airplane crowd. It’s the flyover. Whatever happens down there doesn’t impact (they think) their important lives.

Milk, meat, flour. Dear to the diets of even a Wall Street financier. They don’t just appear on restaurant memos or in the aisles of grocery stores. Dairy farms in Wisconsin. Countless acres of wheat, corn, soybeans. Feedlots for cattle and pigs. Grain silos. Combines lumbering down a gravel road. The world of farms and farmers. My world.

Until. Kate and I left it behind following Horace Greely. We permanently crossed the 100th parallel, the traditional dividing line between the rainy and bountiful east and the often forbidding arid west. Now I am a mountain man. Living at altitude with Lodgepole Pines and Aspen, Mule Deer and Elk.

You can take the boy out of the Midwest… So, I’m a mountain man with an older and more mature regional base in Indiana and the Upper Midwest states of Wisconsin and Minnesota.

Kate said often, “I feel like I’m on vacation every day.” I’m glad she felt that way. Yet it also means she nurtured, maintained, her Midwest sensibilities about landscape, about what’s usual. And why not? Like me she spent almost all of her life in Iowa or Minnesota.

This mountain life has changed me, made me attuned to lenticular clouds, full and overflowing streams in spring time, the hyperphagia of Black Bears in the fall. This is my world now, not the mile square fields of corn or the grain trucks unloading at the elevator.

I choose to stay here. Develop the Westerner.

assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Slow Down

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On an up note. Bowels seem to be calming. What a relief. To do: buy more veggies and fruit.

Robin came yesterday. The things I want to take with me. This chair in which I write each morning. Stickley chair with wide, wooden arms. Two arts and crafts standing lamps. Two arts and craft table lamps. All four done in stained glass. Revolving book stand. Large arts and crafts bookcase. Art. Will depend on what kind of wall space. TV, mounted. Books.

There will be other things of course. Silverware and dishes. That Bresnahan ceramic. A few odds and ends. I plan to buy a new, full-sized bed. Shadow’s food, bowls. Toys.

All this relies on a positive analysis from Bond and Devick concerning my ability to absorb the costs even without long term care insurance.

Robin measures everything, tries to make it all fit while maintaining flow. I’ll find out next week what she’s discovered.

I’m excited, more than ready. A new, slower, more contemplative life, more reading, writing. Contact with friends and family.

There will, too, be the Dopy Don show. Now featuring gauche architecture, lots of gilding, a 747 as a gift. Is it corruption if you just do it?

Fourth Phase, Health, Politics, Shadow Mountain

Such a fine sight to see

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Tired of dealing with an uncooperative gut. Constipation. Hard to get regular. Water torture. Never lets up. Always I need to go. I need to not go. Only comfortable position lying down. Since April with occasional break throughs of normalcy. Don’t understand why I can’t resolve it.

Affects sleep. Get up to deal. Head to bathroom, back to bed. Maybe not returning to sleep right away. The two together? A recipe for feeling down. World is too much with me, late and soon.

When it came time yesterday for my Buphati appointment, I couldn’t do it. Realized I have not been on the stairs since returning home. Also, transition from car to office. By walker. Oxygen levels held steady by my new Inogen, Portable oxygen concentrator. Which I have yet to use. Too much. Canceled. New appointment with Christina two weeks from now.

Cancer. Bah, humbug.

Robin comes today to get started on clearing out the house for the final time. We’ll discuss what goes with me. Her long experience will prove useful.

Talked with Matt Bachus yesterday. (realtor) We agreed I need to have a clear understanding about Elk Run costs over against my available income and other resources. Nothing with him can advance without it. After next week’s annual review.

Dopy Don and the Islamic Republic of Iran. What a fine sight to see. Golden wig. Golden toilets. Prayer mats and mosques. Oh, my Allah!

 

Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Shifts and Changes

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Shifts and changes. Mary will probably leave on August 31st. She’ll return to late winter in Melbourne. Three months of kindness. She’ll be missed.

Joe and Seoah will come sometime in September. I might have already moved by then. Depends on my retirement projections which I have not yet seen.   And/or a successful conclusion to my long term care adl conversation. Many matters to determine before then.

Meanwhile Mary and I have established a twice a day workout routine. 20-25 minutes. The only way I’ll improve. Slow, but steady. I have a long way to go.

A period of transition. From living alone. From living on Shadow Mountain. I feel ready.

The broader world is in transition, too. Gabe moves out of his mom’s to a dorm on the Regis campus. A freshman. Ruth starts her junior year, halfway through undergrad.

The days grow shorter, heading toward equal night and day around the vernal equinox. We’re in my favorite time of year. Harvest. Steiner’s springtime of the soul. Samain. Summer’s End. The beginning of holiseason. Its high holiday IMHO, the winter solstice.

The land down under, Oz, follows a different path. Instead it expects spring, the start of the growing season.

Rich Levine and I go see Dr. Bupathi today. Update on my cancer and my participation in the trial. Important stuff.

Family, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Curating a Life

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Mary goes up to the loft, sits on the deck, and watches the sun rise most mornings. A ritual. Glad she discovered it. She also likes to look at the mountains.

She’s also raving about the book, Kingmaker. About Pamela Harriman who played a prominent role in both British and American politics including pushing Bill Clinton into the presidency. Buddy Mark Odegard also found it a fascinating read.

Things are moving regarding Elk Run. Realized I need to check the wi fi and cable. May need to see if I can install my Starlink over there.

On Tuesday Robin comes and we’ll start deciding what I can take to Elk Run. Not much compared to what’s still in the house. A couple of chairs, my Arts and Crafts stained glass lamps, a fancy coffee table. TV. CD player. Some CD’s. A highly curated selection of books. Some art. Pared down clothes. Maybe my new desk top if there’s room.

I’ll have to buy a new bed since our king sized one would take up way too much space. Probably a full-size to give Shadow room. Maybe a new night stand. That’s about it. A certain amount of furniture, books, art will go into storage. The rest Robin will have to find new homes for. Or, dispose of it.

I’m excited about the paring down process. What matters most comes along, the rest leaves my life for good–with the exception of the things in storage.

Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Home

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Hot times. Even on Shadow Mountain. Had the mini-splits turned to cool as the heat infiltrated my normally cool lower level.

Arjan got home yesterday evening. From the east coast. Tara was already here, having flown in from visiting Vincent in NYC. A full house. We talked and laughed. Nice.

There’s a feeling, still below the surface, of a time ending. Tara and Arjan will leave for their Costa Rican adventure on the 21st. Mary will go, too, at some point not far away. Leaving Shadow Mountain to Shadow and me.

Got my property analysis, price point for selling the house. Good work. Moving on to next stages. I’ll make a lot less than I would have if I sold around the time I considered moving to Hawai’i. Maybe two hundred thousand. Doesn’t bother me. I’m not trying to maximize my result. There will be plenty of money even at this new price.

I’ll move out, either late September or October, to Elk Run. Then, Robin will work with Matt to clear out the house, stage it, and sell it. I hope there will be some movement on the long term care policy by then. If not, I’ll be ok. Better if the LTC pays Elk Run and my money can accumulate. But not necessary.

You might think I’d be sad about leaving Shadow Mountain. I’m not. Like our Andover property it has served our needs for twelve years. I’ll remember it positively. An important location for home.

Home is where the heart is. Always made sense to me. This heart, this lev will change physical locations and create a new home. Looking forward to it.

 

Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Homecoming

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OK. I’m remembering. To write. Routines are off after getting home from rehab so I’ve forgotten Ancientrails.

Tara and Arjan have moved in. They’ll be here until later this month. Nice to have close friends in the house. Gives Shadow an in-house playmate. A good thing.

Mary and I have begun the lower body exercises Carol (p.t.) suggested. Twice a day. Next week Liz (o.t.) will add upper body work. I have a steep path forward. My motivation remains high. I’ll need it.

I find freedom in routine. Sounds paradoxical, right?  I need time already committed to exercise or write. Otherwise, like the last couple of days, I forget. The press of the daily sops up time, leaving none. My routines have been thrown off, way off by all the medical folderol. Trying to reestablish them.

Being at home with Mary, Shadow, Tara, Arjan makes me feel safe. I also enjoy having access to my own things. Books. Remotes. Streaming channels.

Even so, the transition home has had its significant difficulties. How do I maneuver a walker in the tight space of my bathroom? How do I get out of bed? Mostly how do I navigate life with severe physical weakness? Not unexpected, but hard.

 

 

 

General
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Sorry, folks. Asleep at the switch on Shadow Mountain. Awake now. Yes, woke! Why wouldn’t you want to be awake to reality?

On the theme of first harvests. I’ve been home just over a week. The adjustment has been difficult. So many ways to trip up, so many places I can’t go. Like upstairs. Even so. What a glorious feeling to be in my space with Mary and Shadow.

Exercise has outsized importance in my life. I have to get stronger. Better balance. More flexibility. It’s a fair distance from where I am now to a more functional body. No short cuts, either. Twice a day, every day. Also, because I had pneumonia, I have two devices that strengthen my respiratory muscles. A lot of huffing and puffing.

Working on the ADL’s. Is there a creative way to make me certified for a second one? After shower help. Maybe. Paul and his son-in-law Patrick, who is an occupational therapist, have some good ideas.

 

Meanwhile Dopy Don continues to wrack up puzzling and random policy decisions. Berate an attorney general for following the facts in the Olympian versus the reflecting pool. Claims he’ll restart the victims fund for those convicted of insurrection related crimes. Only the biggest investigation and prosecution in Federal history.

Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Twisty

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Life has gotten a little twisty. I want to move. But. I need the Long Term Care policy to activate first. Problem: to activate it I need to require assistance with two ADLs, activities of daily living. I do need assistance now with showering. That’s one ADL. Coming up with a second one? Not so much.

In this case you get penalized for retaining your independence. Not a great system of reward and benefit. Not sure where this leaves me. I knew all of this when I contacted Robin of Spacewranglers and the realtor, Matt Bachus. I knew it when I put down money to hold the one-bedroom unit.

The piece I didn’t know was this: not being able to cook and having a person’s assistance with all that entails does not count as an ADL. It’s an instrumental activity, whatever that means. Joseph was sure it was an ADL and I listened to him without checking. My bad. It sure seems like needing assistance in getting food should qualify which is why I didn’t question Joe. He was being logical in an illogical situation.

Anyhow. I’ll figure out a solution. May mean staying here on Shadow Mountain a while longer. Not a terrible result.

I’m in a gray zone between full independence and needing enough help to trigger the policy. Weird.

 

Speaking of weird. Interesting headline in today’s NYT: In Iran, The U.S. Appears Headed for a Strategic Defeat, Allies Fear. Gee. Vietnam. Afghanistan. Not a great track record since the 1960’s. It’s hard to be an effective imperialist today, eh?

Which leaves us with a question, how would a defeat in Iran play in our current domestic politics? I’m not sure. You would think, since Iran belongs solely to Trump, that he and his party would suffer in the upcoming mid-terms. May it be so.

But Trump has a way of wiggling out of responsibility if things have gone sour. Let’s hope that won’t work in this case.