69 bar steady 30.10 0mph E dew-point 58 Sunrise 8:58 Sunset 7:23 Summer
Waning Gibbous Thunder Moon
Follow up on the yak dumplings. More and more my mouth likes things against which my lower digestive system rebels. Yak meat roiled my stomach. A familiar feeling these days, days in which I have fallen far from the grace of the nutrisystem weight loss this winter and subsequently have created various insults to my stomach and intestines: fatty food, not enough fiber, too much food. Like that. Makes me feel yucky.
As I said yesterday, I don’t like victim status, but I am increasingly aware that my body is the victim of internecine warfare in my mind. One part of me, the earthy bodily part, sends a sensation signal to the brain, “Boy, wouldn’t X be good right now?” Another part of me, sometimes the Superego/father and sometimes Healthy Man, says, “No. Not right now. Too much. Bad for the heart, blood vessels, stomach wall. No.” Then, too often, earthy body picks itself up and goes to the refrigerator.
I experience this, sometimes, as an actual dialogue in which one part of my mind shushes the other. My hunch is that consistent eating habits lie in empowering the Healthy Man, but I need to figure out how to do that. This feels like an old struggle to me, one I have played out in relation to alcohol and tobacco, but girding my loins for battle has, so far, not proved powerful enough against my appetites. What is girding the loins anyhow? What is a gird?
According to Princeton Word Net, gird is to put on arms or to put on a girdle. Girdle meant, one source says, belt originally. OK. So I put my belt on do battle with weight. Gotta admit that sounds logical.
This whole process literally drives me nuts. In spite of all the good stuff I do, if I see myself as losing this struggle, I get down on myself. Not a positive place to be.
On a brighter note Home Depot beckons. The stump grinder.