Samain Closing Moon
Finding myself in a strange psychic netherworld, neither wholly ready to act, nor wholly unwilling, between this state and that state. This mood will lift, perhaps by tomorrow, but right now. Neither this nor that. Doesn’t seem odd to me, one possible result from what feels now like a rush to the finish, yet the location of that rush to the finish being a place of stasis for over 20 years.
Living in the move has been our mantra for the last 8 months and we will, in just over a month, live the move. That’s a different interior location, the difference between preparation and action. While in the mode of preparation we have been able to live the comfortable old life and indulge in fantasy about Colorado. Now, though, the preparation is coming to an end and we will have to face the real world consequences of our decision.
One conversation I had with a friend over the last month lead us to wonder if there is no morality, just consequences. That is, ideas and actions are neither good nor bad, just consequential. Whatever the truth value of that idea, it does seem that maturation comes when we accept responsibility for our actions and their consequences.
In this case there are two large stroke consequences that have been obvious from the beginning; the notion of living in the move has been an exercise in accepting both of them. The first is a going away from, a leaving behind of friends, memories, familiar places, habits and routines. The second is a moving toward, a discovering of new places, new friends, creating new memories, habits and routines. No, it’s not as black and white as I state it here. The two consequences will bleed into each other, interact. Friends will visit Colorado; we will return to Minnesota for example.
But the consequences remain. Physical separation, especially 900 miles, changes the nature of all kinds of relationships: personal, geographical, botanical, navigational. The exact nature of the changes will not be known for several years, probably, and that’s a good thing. A gradual rather than a sudden unveiling seems easier on the psyche.
