My Process

Beltane                                                                   Rushing Waters Moon

MUSSAR-PATH-OF-W-LOGO1Still working on how I will lead our mussar class next week. It’s been hard for me, mildly anxiety producing. First, I don’t have the depth, any really, in Jewish thought. The Mesillat Yesharim, Path of the Upright, is a complex, subtle and often difficult to parse text. With a guide like Rabbi Jamie Arnold its complexity and subtlety becomes an advantage, encouraging a range of views, sparking discussion. But with me, lacking sufficient knowledge, it could become a bramble thicket instead.

Secondly, I do have some depth in other fields, especially those related to the environment, and I find myself drawn to them with the content of chapters 18 and 19 in this central mussar text. Those two chapters recount movement toward hasidut or piety and chesed or loving kindness. Since these are action outward categories-hasidut can also be translated as loving deeds-ecological thinking fits well with them. But. I realize if I go in this direction I risk making my own agenda the centerpiece rather than learning about these middah.

Kabbalistic_creatorThirdly, the whole Jewish immersion experience I’m having at Beth Evergreen is like learning a new language. I have some words and a very limited amount of grammar. I don’t want my naivete getting in the way of other’s learning.

Last. As is usual for me, I have way more information than can possibly fit. At this stage, roughly a week away, that’s not a problem. Except it is. I don’t know how to edit the material because I’m not really sure what my focus is. Is it hasidut, chesed, kedusha (holiness) or is it the manifestation of those ideas in the world? In this case it’s a question of am I moving too quickly beyond the new concepts to their application?

I’ve enlisted the help of a rabbi in training, Bonnie Houghton, to help me sort out what will be useful and what won’t. Mussar and Torah study both emphasize the value of a study partner. A sound idea.

Oh. And. I’m not a Jew.