Samain Thanksgiving Moon
Category Archives: Humor
Cornfusing
Fall Hunter Moon
from a Beth Evergreen friend:
Cogito Ergo Not
Fall Hunter Moon
Rene Descartes walks into an English pub, and the serving wench asks him if he would like a flagon of ale.
He says: “I think not!”
Poof! He disappears!!
Science Humor
Fall Hunter Moon
from a facebook group, Science Humor:
1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”
7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.
9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.
This Just In
Lughnasa Superior Wolf Moon
Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System
“PASADENA, CA—Groundbreaking new findings announced Monday suggest the record-setting heat wave plaguing much of the United States may be due to radiation emitted from an enormous star located in the center of the solar system.” read more at Onion.com
Summer Park County Fair Moon
A Buddhist monk approaches a burger food-truck and says “make me one with everything.”
The Buddhist monk pays with a $20 bill, which the vendor takes, puts in his cash box, and closes the lid.
“Where’s my change?” the monk asks.
The vendor replies, “change comes from within.”
Made Me Laugh
Spring Wedding Moon
The Onion. Again.
Yule Stock Show Moon
Clinton Ominously Tells Iowan Supporters To Mark Front Doors With Campaign Logo Before Sundown
DES MOINES, IA—Declaring that all voting-age citizens who took the measures would be spared, Hillary Clinton ominously instructed her supporters throughout Iowa to mark their front doors with her campaign logo before sundown, sources confirmed Sunday. “All those residing in Iowa take heed: Your home shall bear the mark of my campaign this eve, or may God help you,” said the Democratic candidate after dispatching a phalanx of campaign staffers to all four corners of the state to spread the message of her directive. “Be within your dwellings with the doors closed and locked before nightfall, and do not cross the threshold before the sun rises again in the sky. The emblem of the red-and-blue H will protect my true voters.” At press time, Clinton issued a statement ordering all Iowan supporters who remain on Monday morning to bring forth their progeny between 18 and 34 years of age to the polls.
Special GOP Breeding Program
Yule Stock Show Moon
Oh. My.
Samhain Christmas Moon
If this doesn’t make you laugh, it’s too cold where you are.