Category Archives: Mussar

Mussar, Poetry

Be Aware 8/17

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Lughnasa                                                                Kate’s Moon

14608842_1689729854679011_2228956598700838196_oPaths. The trait of watchfulness, of being aware, is not only about self-awareness. It is, in itself, a tool, one to use to notice which direction you’re headed. Did this action, that motivation, move me in a positive direction in my life or a negative one? Did it move me toward selfishness or toward being of service?

The last couple of days I’ve found exercising hard. Wednesday was my resistance day and I felt too tired. I almost left it entirely, but instead did my high intensity workout plus 80 minutes of treadmill. That seemed easier and I had not been able to work out Tuesday, my normal aerobics day. But. Then on Thursday I encountered the same feeling and didn’t workout at all except for 15 minutes of aerobics. I was aware of struggling with myself, but let the feeling of tiredness win. Exercise is a habit, one I could lose, yet one I value. A matter to pay attention to.

Mussar, at least as it’s been presented so far this year, focuses on the interpersonal and the inner. At least until yesterday. Yesterday introduced a concept of caring for the generation into which you are born, not only the nation of Israel. Caring for the generation requires action for peace and justice.

400830_439551132807268_1006246526_nIt also requires, very interestingly, prayers for God to forgive the wicked, or the unjust. It’s not up to us to forgive them, but we must plead with God to do it. As I took it, this means that we stand against Trump and the white supremacists, for example, opposing them in the streets, in conversation, at the ballot box, in whatever way we can, and it’s up to God to forgive them for what they’re doing. Not us. I interpret God here, the Great Other as Rabbi Jamie sometimes says, as the collective us, our generation perhaps, or history. Or, perhaps, the very sensibility that inspires us to move into the breach on behalf of the vulnerable other.

It also made me wonder if prayer might not be marching against the alt-right, showing up beside African-Americans, LGBT folks, fighting to change unjust economic structures. Tactile prayer, political prayer. Action guided not by anger against individuals like Trump and his minions, but action for the other. So in our action we offer a way out for those with their thumb on the others neck. We ask Pharaoh to let them go. We ask, in other words, that others act as agents of peace and justice, caring for our generation-including the oppressor-but we don’t rely on hope alone, we become hope itself.

Judaism, Mussar, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Third Phase

Be Aware 8/16

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Lughnasa                                                                     Kate’s Moon

At the Sasquatch Outpost in Bailey I asked, “Does anyone really believe in this?” referring to the Sasquatch. In asking the question to the two men and two women working there, I was aware of my genuine curiosity, my willingness to hear what these folks thought. It communicated to them, my willingness, and so we connected.

I received an eclipse related gift from my friend Tom Crane. While at the Outpost, I remembered that, his kindness, and became aware of the thread of friendship that has no distance, a quantum entanglement of the heart.

As I recall this awareness, I also recall the hand that Leah put on my shoulder as she passed me after making announcements at the shabbat service last week. Touch. Simple, no words. Powerful. Her awareness of me made me aware of myself as someone worthy of such a gesture. Also powerful.

Even though I know they’re silly, I do these quizzes I find on Facebook and in other places. A recent one, What is Your Jungian Archetype, has resonated with me. Part of the awareness is that even casual, non-deep encounters can change me. Even more though in this instance is my reaction to the conclusion:

The Innocent Child

Naive but a breath of new life and fresh ideas.

Your inner self archetype is that which closest matches your true personality. Your inner self is primarily influenced by the Innocent Child archetype.

It felt true, not as a total observation about me, of course, but as a part of me that I, at 70, celebrate, want to believe is true of me.

 

 

 

Mussar

Be Aware

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Lughnasa                                                                        Kate’s Moon

BlakeBe aware. Working with mussar practice now, decided to use focus phrases and journaling to work on the trait of watchfulness, seeing my path, owning my journey. The journal part will recount, as I can recall them, those moments when I was aware of my journey.

Last night when I came home from the mussar leadership meeting I recounted the meeting to Kate. I was aware of my own journey deeper into mussar and Beth Evergreen as I did.

After two unpleasant encounters at the New York Deli, a guy stopped right after he turned into the parking lot and a tree trimmer told me I had to me my car, I realized I didn’t like my angry response, but there it was anyhow.

While talking with Sandy, our housecleaner, newly recovering from brain surgery for an acoustic neuroma, I was aware of myself as a potential guide for her since I too lost hearing in one ear. It’s a surprising  and often unpleasant transition.

While writing Ancientrails in the mornings, I become self-aware about some small part of my journey the day before, just as I am now about yesterday.

Just before falling asleep, my helpful mind sets up a Times Square scroll of the day’s activities and why they might have been better. This bit of self awareness I would gladly chuck.