Winter Waning Moon of Long Nights
Scurrilous, obviously the product of a Northern Wisconsinite too long in the ice-house shanty with the heater turned on and the flame off:
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than
skunks, and go to Hell.
The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them “Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?”
Ole replies, “Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota,
da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance
ta varm up a little bit, ya know.”
The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns
up the heat even more.
When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota,
the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished and exclaims, “Everyone down here
is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?”
Sven replies, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather
up dere at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da
veather’s dis nice.”
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight.
Finally he comes up with the answer.
The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all
their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell.
The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles
are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that
they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber
hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering,
yelling and screaming like mad men.
The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand, when
I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and
you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two?”
They both look at the devil in surprise and say,
“Vell, don’t ya know, if hell is froze over, dat must
mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl”
