• Category Archives Humor
  • The Longest Day

    Beltane                                                                             Rushing Waters Moon

    These are the last two days of the Rushing Waters Moon but its namesake creeks will continue rushing for another week or two. Last week’s substantial snow has been followed by some rain and last night another inch or so of snow. More precipitation to come, too.

    The Moon of the Summer Solstice is new on the 25th. If I had the cash, I’d go to Sweden.

     


  • We are a diverse species

    Beltane                                                                   Rushing Waters Moon

    Actual complaints received by the British travel agency, Thomas Cook Holidays:

    1. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

    2. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

    3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

    4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

    5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

    6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

    7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

    8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

    9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

    10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

    11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

    12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

    13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

    14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

    15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

    16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

    17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

    18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

    19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

    BE AWARE …


  • Breaking: Survivors of Bowling Green Massacre to go to Sweden in Show of Support

    Imbolc                                                                         Valentine Moon

    Breaking: Survivors of Bowling Green Massacre to go to Sweden in Show of Support

    This morning the survivors of the Bowling Green massacre announced they will be journeying to Sweden to show support for what is happening in that country.  The trip came together quickly, soon after the president highlighted the terror that is occurring in Sweden because of their immigration policies.  It was for the Bowling Green group nothing less than a call to arms to help and support their Swedish brothers and sisters in their hours of need.

    “The parallels between the Bowling Green massacre and the terror in Sweden are extraordinary,” said one member of the Bowling Green group.

    “I feel as the terror victims of Sweden and I exist in the same small universe,” said another.

    The group expects to be welcomed by the Swedish government.  “I have contacted them and they said we could get together and smoke a little something,” said the leader of the group.  “An activity that I hope will bring us together in important ways.  We share so much, we are in many ways the only ones who can understand each other.”

    The group will then stop at Maro-Lago on the way home.  “We won’t be able to get in of course,” the leader of the group said.  “But we will hold a candle light vigil outside, across the water, eating Subway sandwiches.  We just want the president to know we are there and we exist….at least in his own mind.