Category Archives: Holidays

Kinetic, Joyful, Earth and Human Focused

Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Shabbat. Israel. Gaza. Palestinians. A Palestinian state. Hafar. Osan. Melbourne. Conifer. Longmont. Denver. Family. Cold frames. Artemis. Almost finished. Shadow. Kate, always Kate. Travel. Maybe possible. Neck brace. Lidocaine. Dr. Vu. Mountain View Pain Center. Kylie. Evergreen Orthotics. Handicap placard. Alan.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Nathan

Life Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yesod. Foundation. Groundedness. Tenth sefirot. The link between this world and the world of sacred becoming.

Tarot: paused

One brief shining: Two days out from my last lidocaine injections and still feeling some relief, really, a lot of relief, relief that has made a certain part of me awaken, the active ready-to-go person who can get things done without wincing, wakes up without caution, who might even dance if he ever had.

 

Sukkot*: Begins on Monday. The Jewish Mabon and Samain. A festival of ingathering, of the harvest. The sukkahs represent not only the temporary dwellings in the wilderness, but also the temporary dwellings farmers would erect so they could work in the fields until the harvest was complete.

The lulav:** The lulav (with three species) is held in the right hand and the ertrog in the left. A blessing for the harvest and for rain is implied as the lulav gets waved through all four directions plus up and down.

Sukkot is a joyous holiday with meals in the Sukkah. At CBE we often study in the Sukkah.

My delight with Judaism begins on Sukkot, an ancient harvest holiday of celebration for Mother Earth’s bounty, of family and friends, of farming.

After Sukkot comes Simchat Torah, dancing with the Torah as one year’s reading ends with the burial of Moses and the next year’s begins with Bereshit, or Beginnings: Genesis. Both of these holidays are kinetic, joyful, earth and human focused. And old. I love the fact that these traditions have been observed for thousands of years.

See you in the sukkah.

 

Just a moment: From joy and delight to anger and disgust. I can feel the moment. The moment, now, when enough of us say enough of this miserable son-of-a-bitch who lies, seeks vengeance, grabs wealth for himself and his oligarchic posse, destroys our nation by ignoring democratic norms, blessing white supremacy and a militant far right, including Christians of the New Apostolic Reformation, all while displaying the moral sensibilities of a rutting boar(bore).

Can you tell I don’t like him?

Still no reply to my e-mail to the President of Ball State. Connecting with David Letterman has proven a challenge-a well-guarded celebrity-but I’m still on it.

When we have any personal linkage to the Burger King’s awful choices, we need to use that leverage to oppose him. Today and until 2028. God. That’s a long, long time.

  • *Agricultural: It is an autumn harvest festival, also called Chag HaAsif (“Festival of the Ingathering”). It is a time for expressing gratitude for the bounty of the earth and the final crops gathered before winter. 
  •  Historical: The holiday commemorates the 40 years the Israelites spent wandering in the desert after the Exodus from Egypt, living in temporary shelters. Building and dwelling in a sukkah recalls the miraculous protection that God provided during that time.

**Lulav ([lu’lav]Hebrewלוּלָב) is a closed frond of the date palm tree. It is one of the Four Species used during the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. The other Species are the hadass (myrtle), aravah (willow), and etrog (citron). When bound together, the lulavhadass, and aravah are commonly referred to as “the lulav”.

Teshuva

Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Shadow’s regression. Her sweetness. Cool, Rainy, Dark morning. Rosh Hashanah. L’shana Tova. The beauty of Shadow. Rain. Sweet Tomatoes. Great workout yesterday. Working out. Prolia. Bone health. Tramadol and acetaminophen. Yum. Beavers, nature’s engineers. Lodgepoles. Aspen gold. A Mountain Fall well underway.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Fourth Wing

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe and Wonder

Tarot: #17, The Star

  • Connection to intuition: The imagery encourages listening to your inner guidance. In the Druid Craft deck, this is an act of “coming home to yourself” and being true to your core essence.
  • Renewed purpose: This card can signal a deep spiritual awakening or a renewed sense of purpose. It reminds you that you are connected to the greater cosmic and natural world. 

One brief shining: Rain has pelted down overnight, the Air cool and moist, temperature in Artemis down to 55, outside the comfort range for Tomato ripening, the Rain though, the Monsoons, have given us surcease from Fire, made the Mountain Meadows and Lodgepole covered slopes green, and given the Aspens reason to respond to its Midas touch.

 

Tarot and Rosh Hashanah: Teshuva, often translated as repentance, is the main point of the Jewish new year. We greet the new year with a soul refreshed and cleansed. I prefer the word return as its translation.

In that sense of teshuva the major arcana of the Star correlates well: “an act of “coming home to yourself” and being true to your core essence.” When we perform teshuva, we return, as one sage put it, to the landscape of our soul. To do that we have to clear away the schmutz, accretions to our self that block our nefesh soul from shining through.

Nefesh, buddha nature, true self. Who you are as an extension of the sacred. Your core essence. I love that the Star showed up for me on the 1st day of Rosh Hashanah.

I’m coming to believe that my life as I live it now is my core essence. Time with family and friends. Intentional conversations each week with those I love. Seeing the ancient friends on Sunday morning. Reading. Studying. Playing with Shadow. Co-creating with Great Sol, the soil, and Artemis. Living in the Mountains. Living a Jewish life through mussar, the men’s group, Talmud Torah, saying the Shema, touching the mezuzahs, celebrating holidays. Also through my many friendships at CBE. Writing Ancientrails. My ancientrail.

In other words my teshuva snaps me back to this Shadow Mountain life. One lived with kavannah, intention, connected to the past, alive to the present, accepting of the future. A good feeling and one on target for this 5786th Rosh Hashanah.

 

Just a moment: We need to call out red tie guy’s lies. At every opportunity. No tip toeing around this Burger King tyrant. Kick him in the shins each he says crime is out of control. Each time he says stealing money from the poor to give to the rich will make America great. Each time he demeans transgender folks. Each he claims the insurrection was a peaceful protest.

No Kings. October 18th.

The left Reverend Dr. Israel Herme Harari

Erev Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Shadow, my sweet girl. Kate, always Kate. Ruth and Gabe. The gathering darkness. The Siddur for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the Machzor. Nylabone. Kongs. Artemis, ripening Tomatoes. First salad soon. Talmud Torah. Red tie guy. Burger King. His paper crown. Ruby. The boiler. The mini-splits. The Fireplace. All ready for fall. And, winter.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Aspen gold on Black Mountain

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Yirah. Awe and Reverence

Tarot: King of Pentacles, reversed (Druid Craft)  It indicates a need to loosen up and take responsible risks to grow.  Gemini

One brief shining: Plucking ripe Cherry Tomatoes, taking in the Plant’s earthy, acidic perfume, popping them into my mouth, tasting the sweetness no store bought Tomato can deliver makes the expense and fuss of Artemis more than worthwhile, it makes it an ordinary miracle.

 

Judaism: The Siddur, order of service for the High Holidays- Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur-weighs in at 1200 plus pages of prayers, psalms, poetry, Torah, blessings, and much more. The first written service siddurs came into existence in the 9th century, but it took the invention of the printing press to accelerate their use in most synagogues.

We studied a parsha from Deuteronomy used on Yom Kippur and a major prayer, the Amidah, yesterday morning at the bagel table. Rabbi Jamie, Ginny, Luke, and me.

As I’ve written here before, I’m more of a Sukkot, Simcha Torah, Passover, Shavuot,  sorta Jew. More focused on the strong linkage between earth-focused holidays that celebrate the harvest, Sukkot, or spring planting, like Passover, and the long tradition of their celebration within Jewish communities over thousands of years.

Yet. Modern day Judaism focuses a bright light on the Days of Awe. This year I plan to attend outside services for Rosh Hashanah, possibly Yom Kippur. See what the contemporary focus means. I say possibly for Yom Kippur because its two days coincide with the lidocaine injections for my ablation procedure.

 

A few photographs from the Beaver Dam trip:

 

Paganism lies just beneath the surface

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Shadow, her sweet self. Dr. Bupathi. Another blood draw. Soon another P.E.T. scan. Oh, joy. Cancer. Driving down the hill. Rides for my nerve ablation procedures. All our organ recitals. Mark’s journey of return to Hafar. Darkness. Welcome it. Vikings. JJ McCarthy.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Dr. Bupathi

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev   Strength of the heart

Tarot: Nine of Wands. (Druid Craft)

  • Inner fortitude: Past struggles have made you wiser and tougher. The card encourages you to trust the wisdom of your experiences and to have faith in your ability to handle whatever comes next.

One brief shining: I dropped into Noodles and Company, bought a large bowl of mac and cheese, a side salad, rewarding myself with comfort food for driving down the hill, hearing the news I expected to hear, taking care of bidness, thinking I might have to start being even more kind to myself if I’m in new territory.

 

Health: Saw Bupathi. As expected, he ordered a new blood draw. And, another PET scan. I’ll see him again when that’s been done. Short version. This rise in my PSA, by itself, is not concerning. If it jumps again? New drug protocols.

Here’s an oddity. The Rocky Mountain Cancer Care Offices had Halloween decorations up. Not just a few. Witch’s conical hats. Bats. Black Cat. Plastic Pumpkins. Strands of purple and black crepe paper. More. In every hall and hung with a decorator’s eye.

This celebration seems both early to me and yet so apt. If there is any place where the veil between the worlds thins out everyday, all year it’s at an oncology practice. Many, perhaps most of us who visit here, have seen the possibility of death move closer, some so close her breath is hot on the back of their neck.

Sure Halloween doesn’t hold the same punch that it did during early Celtic times, but it retains the spirit of it actually pretty well. Trick or treaters costumed in the night do represent, though most don’t realize it, the back and forth between this world and the Other World so pronounced during this holiday of Summer’s End, Samain.

I mentioned all the decorations to the phlebotomist who had just slid a needle painlessly into a vein on my left arm. “Like Christmas,” she said. “Yes,” I replied, “Only scary.” She laughed.

Do you ever wonder about Halloween? How much effort some folks put into it? Their yards decorated with ten-foot skeletons, witches standing around a boiling cauldron, maybe a devil, or a vampire? Pumpkin lights. Elaborately carved real pumpkins.

Paganism always lies just below the surface. In the holidays of most world religions. In the resurgence here and in Europe of diverse pagan “traditions.” It’s there to receive those whose faces turn toward the greensward, to the soil, to seasonal change. When the miracle of photosynthesis goes from science to awe.

Halloween speaks to our need to recognize death, to know the fallow time will come for us all.

A Curse on All our Houses

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow of the morning darkness. Nerve ablations scheduled. Artemis. Mythic Quest. Apple TV. Tenderloin, sweet Corn, sliced Peppers. Lunch. All labor. Robots. A.I. The cloud. Desktop and laptop and handheld computers. Nividia. AMD. Intel. Spending on AI data centers. The environmental cost of AI. Life. Death. Mystery.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tzelem elohim. All made of the same stuff.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner courage to move forward. Courage.

Tarot:  #4, The Lord (Druid Craft Deck)

  • Stability and structure: Creating a solid, secure foundation for a project, family, or business. This card suggests a time to build and organize.

One brief shining: The inner world, a place of dreams and memories, emotions and intuition, Progoff’s inner cathedral, Jung’s shadow and the collective unconscious, the nefesh and the ruach and the neshama, where the outer world of materiality has no foothold, blends and develops our experience with our gifts, creating an I am.

 

Labor day: A bit late, but hey, I’m retired.

From my 50’s Indiana childhood I imprinted a steadfast rule. School starts the day after Labor Day and ends the day before Memorial Day. Anything else violates my understanding of a proper childhood. Colorado schools, for example, start in mid-August and end in mid to late May. Beep! Wrong. No kid should have to go back to school before the State Fair is done. I’m just sayin’.

Labor day returns our focus, however briefly, to labor unions, the working class, blue collar folks. The citizens of Alexandria, Indiana. My home town. Workers who made batteries and alternators at Delco Remy. Workers who made headlights and taillights for Guide Lamp. Who worked one of the three shifts: days, evening, nights. Yes, in that time General Motors required enough batteries and headlights to require factories that ran twenty-four hours a day.

No longer. What is the future of this kind of labor? Bleak. Even with red tie guy’s tariffs. The return of manufacturing to US soil? Unlikely in any substantial way. Global trade will not go away and the benefit (?) of cheaper labor will always land somewhere around the globe.

Then, of course. A.I. What will it do to the labor force? It may extend the leveled sites of Delco and Guide to paralegals,  lawyers, doctor’s offices, newsrooms, and classrooms. So called knowledge workers. No one really knows.

But, disruption for workers of all sorts has been the norm in the not free for all of capitalist economies. Whatever AI and robotics can do will shuffle the deck of work, of that I have no doubt. But how much? Hard to predict.

Work, if you recall your Bereshit, Genesis, is a curse laid on Adam and Eve for eating of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil. A curse. We pretend it’s ennobling because we need to. We have to justify our need to leave a warm bed, a lover or spouse, the kids and the dog to, what, win bread? Move up, gain status? Do something worthwhile? Yes. A curse on all our houses.

 

The Springtime of the Soul

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Road trips. Telluride. Ouray. Silverton. Durango. Shadow, rising in darkness. Morning darkness. Electricity. Artemis. Tomatoes nearing maturity. Very cool morning. Authoritarian playbooks. 2025. May you grow old in interesting times. TV. Books. Computers. Mini-splits. Fall come early. Aspen gold. CBE. Gabe and Gordonzeo. Ruth in her sophomore year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Bubble gum and baling wire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: Ten of Arrows, Instruction

Generational Wisdom:
The card emphasizes the transfer of knowledge from elders to youth, ensuring that traditional skills and wisdom are not lost.

 

One brief shining: Shadow is in the house, goes straight to her Nylabone Lobster, begins to chew with what dog toy makers call aggressive chewing, the kind that shreds toys made for softer dogs, ones whose chewing gentles the toys, treats them like Velveteen Rabbits, not Shadow for she demands resistance, counts on toughness.

 
 

Seasons: A cool morning. Forty-three. The greenhouse heater either can’t keep up or turned itself off. I’ll find out later this morning. These late August days and all of September mark a gradual transition from growing season weather to the bleakness of the fallow season. Sometimes cold, even frosty, sometimes warm.

 

Soon the Aspens on Black Mountain will begin to turn from green to gold. Jackie who lives above 9,000 feet in Bailey said they’d started to turn a while back where she is. Kenosha Pass, too, said a friend of hers. The whispered reports we share. Knowing seasonal change for what it is. Life-changing.

 

When to put on the Snow tires? Will my cold frames be done before the first frost? When will the Garlic come? Do the mini-splits need cleaning? How’s my supply of firewood? How about that first Snow? When will it come? Homes become refuges from the cold. Shadow loved the Snow in February. How will she react when it comes again? With delight, I imagine.

 

Mountain roads. Become more challenging. Technical. Call on forty years of Minnesota winter driving experience. When these Blizzaks lose their tread, I’m buying Hankook quiet studded tires.

 

Holiseason lies only a couple of months away. Starting on Samhain and running through the Epiphany. My favorite time of the year. Family and friends. Festive days and long cold nights.

 

But. Not yet. First the corn-pickers and the combines. Reaping the harvest as the mad colors of a Midwestern Fall bloom, red Sugar Maple leaves floating down, down onto Lakes and Ponds. Boaters heading out to see the colors on Lake Minnetonka. College football underway. Can the NFL be far behind?

 

I love this transitional time. A joy of living in the temperate latitudes where we have four seasons, more or less. And this change from the heat of summer to the crisp weather of fall? The best. All poignancy and anticipation.

 

As Rudolf Steiner said, the springtime of the soul. That’s why cheshbon nefesh fits so well here. An outer change enhances, encourages an inner one.

Let’s Do It

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Sunday gratefuls: 404 errors. Cybermage. Ancientrails. Writing. P.T. Computers. Zoom. Ionos. Help. Insect noises as Great Sol appears. Shadow playing inside while she waits on breakfast. Tomato Plants flopping over. Supporting them. Working organic fertilizer into the Soil. Artemis. Ginny and Janice. Annie and Luna. International Moon Day.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: WordPress

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ahavah. Love.

Tarot: The Wanderer.  What do I need to do to align my soul?

One brief shining: Yes, even at 78 there’s still soul work to do, surprised me though to see the Wanderer come up when I pulled a card this morning because it suggests a new journey, a new path for that work, perhaps with Artemis and Shadow as my guiding stars or perhaps the one suggested at the Bagel Table yesterday, restoring Sukkot, Passover, Shavuot, Tu B’shvat to their original, earth-based significance.

 

Caspar Friedrich, Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog

Tarot: The Wanderer.* Exciting. A new journey begins. I always enjoy pushing out into new territory, putting my foot down on the rainbow. The Wanderer, major arcana #0, represents the turning of the Great Wheel back to its starting point as well as the start of the journey represented by the major arcana.

Applied to my soul alignment I imagine it relates to one of two possibilities:

First: The ongoing, yet still very new world I have here on Shadow Mountain with Shadow and Artemis. We three have many new opportunities for learning as we interact with each other. Shadow needs her leash. Artemis needs to teach me how to use her beds to create produce and beauty.

Second: A throwaway line from yesterday’s Bagel Table which looked at Numbers 28 and 29. In chapter 29 all of the major Jewish holidays come to life. Surprisingly though what is now Rosh Hoshana and Yom Kippur, the days of Awe, merit only a couple of sentences and bear none of the weight it occupies in today’s Judaism. Instead, Sukkot, a harvest festival, has specific instructions for all 7 days.

When I asked Rabbi Jamie how Sukkot got shunted aside, he told a story about a Babylonian ceremony at about the same time of year that honored the renewal of the king.

He suggested returning Sukkot to its original prominence and featuring its earth focused origins. I said, “Let’s do it!”

 

 

 

* From Gemini:

  • Self-Discovery and Exploration:

    The card suggests a journey of self-discovery, urging you to explore your potential and embrace new experiences. 

  • End and a Beginning:

    The Wanderer can represent the completion of one cycle and the start of another, urging you to reflect on past experiences and embrace the future. 

  • Connection to Nature:

    The Wildwood Tarot emphasizes a deep connection to nature, and The Wanderer often symbolizes a return to the wild and a reconnection with your primal instincts. 

  • Not Always Easy:

    While representing new beginnings, the Wanderer’s journey may not always be smooth. It can involve facing fears and overcoming obstacles as you step into the unknown. 

In essence, The Wanderer in the Wildwood Tarot is a powerful reminder to embrace change, trust your intuition, and embark on a journey of self-discovery with courage and enthusiasm. 

 

Feel the Fire in your Bones

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon

Friday gratefuls: Luke and Leo. Laundry. Shadow and Leo. Buddies. Warm Night. AI. Chatgpt. Images. Mussar. Diane. Her book club and cherry chutney. The Greenhouse, Nathan’s careful work. Scott. His pollinator Garden. My son. Moving. Seoah. Murdoch. Ruth and Gabe coming up today.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Luke’s many talents

Week Kavannah: Bitachon. Confidence.  “A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities.”

One brief shining: Piece by piece the greenhouse comes together, two Koi on the door, deep raised beds on the sides, a raised bed inside it, shelving for pots and space to work along both inside walls, the clear insulating sheets going in place to let in Great Sol and retain the warmth.

 

Summer Solstice: For those of you new to Ancientrails, this is the day I celebrate not only the victory of light on the longest day, but also the ascendancy of the night which starts tonight, continuing night by night until the Winter Solstice. We need the warmth of Great Sol for our plant allies to grow and we need the darkness and Lesser Light illumination of the night for our soul’s growth. The yang and the yin of seasonal change.

In Nordic and Scottish lands the Summer Solstice, much like Beltane, finds bonfires blazing, naked bodies dancing to the drums and pipes. Never got the chance to participate, perhaps next incarnation.

Stop a moment today. Feel the heat of Great Sol. Let the Sun enlighten you, fuel the dreams and work of your heart. An active time, a time to push forth into the world with the best, the strongest parts of your Self.

Choose, if you can, to feel fire in your bones, energy surging from feet to head like the sacred flow of energy from the crown of the Tree of Life to Malkhut, this tangible world, and back up again toward the ayn sof. Your body and soul, unique and irreplaceable, yet also one with the other, all others. The true and important secret not hidden from us except when we slip into routine, into habitual ways of knowing.

As I wrote yesterday: Celebrate, celebrate. Dance to the music.

 

Dog journal: Luke and Leo came over yesterday. Shadow greeted Leo. A nip here, a play bow there. Leo, a large and older Dog took his time to respond. He played a bit with her before lying down on the cool tile for a gentleman’s rest.

Meanwhile Shadow put her paws on the other chair down here, and licked Luke’s face. She takes others visiting with enthusiasm. Ginny and Janice come over on Sunday afternoon with Annie and Luna. More fun for Shadow.

Right now Shadow has the severed tail of a stuffed Skunk toy in her mouth flailing it from side to side while she rolls on her back. A puppy.

 

Just a moment: Well, red tie guy has proved more thoughtful than I imagined. Diane offered a reason. The isolationist wing of the MAGA movement having its say. Could be.

Tao De Jew

Spring and the Wu Wei Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Shabbat. Torah. CBE. Sacred community. Where everybody knows your name. Shadow and the canoe cut marrow bone. Cold Night. A Mountain Dawn. Great Sol shines again. Being able to buy seeds and plants again. Easter. Matthew. Mark. Luke. John.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Gabe at 17

Week Kavannah: Sensibility. Daat.

One brief shining: In their waning years Taoists left behind their jobs in the court bureaucracy for small dwellings in the Mountains where they practiced calligraphy, played the Qin, wrote poetry, studied the sages, and lived close to the natural world.

 

Tao De Jew. With a dash of Alinsky and street focused organizer. The Reverend Doctor Israel Harari. That would be me. With a domestic side of Gardener, Beekeeper, and Docent.

Try to work with the flow of chi, the energetic and transformative aspect of our oneness and our sense of uniqueness. Look for the path that emerges, that asks and invites. Follow it. This ancientrail, then that one. With the ease of Water running toward the Ocean.

Find the moment when chi has found you. Act with its already organized aim. If Shadow gnaws the bed at 5:20, get up and let her out. Saves cleaning up. Makes her happy. Gives the day an hour head start.

Reconstructionist Judaism, Paganism, Taoism.  Sacred Community, Mother Earth, and a follower of the Way. When the Mule Deer comes. When the bull Elk bugles. When Fawns and Calves play. As the Mountain Lion strikes. As the Bear paws a Bee hive. Yes. When tender shoots break through the soil. When friends gather over breakfast. When Torah study opens new human insights. When the Breeze through the Lodgepoles whispers follow me. Yes.

 

Have you been following the Adventures of Trump Tarrific? I know I have. Sort of. There was the all tariffs all the time moment. Then there was the oh wait not on tech stuff moment. Now there’s, what is it again? 10% on everybody and a whole lot on China. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Lucky I’m not alone. Business leaders. Economists. Inflation wary members of the Fed. For a start.

Then there’s Trump the Depo Man. Proving his masculinity by using the military, ICE, and millions of dollars to sweep people off college campuses, out of their janitorial and dishwashing jobs, making a mistake or two along the way, but hey that’s ok, omelets and eggs, eh, and not getting many folks deported except the most vulnerable.

That what it says in the Gospels: find the poor, the stranger, put them on a plane and send them to prison in El Salvador. Oh, Jesus. Oh.

 

Just a moment: Yes. It’s Easter. Easter eggs. Chocolate and marshmallow Bunnies. Ham. Cute dresses and boys in ties. All the holiday essentials. Wonder how that whole egg business has worked this year, the year of Bird flu?

Remember Ukrainian Easter Eggs. Wonder if anybody’s on that this year? Or will Putin target little old ladies with eggs and candle wax.

 

 

Passing on Passover? The Jangs.

Spring and the Wu Wei Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Second day of Passover. Kate, always Kate. Shadow the toy mover. Her zooming in the back yard. Liberation. Freedom to choose. Egypt. The many Egypts we are heir to. Tara. Arjan. Robbie and Deb. Sandy and Mark. Eleanor. Kilimanjaro. Jungfrau. Black Mountain. Shadow Mountain. A Mountain night.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Liberation

Week Kavannah: Joy. Simcha.

One brief shining: The Haggadah had wine stains; the seder plate had a kiwi because we can; we dipped the parsley into salt water, tears for the suffering of the slaves, of all oppressed people, spread dots of wine or in my case grape juice for each plague, retelling each part of the passover story as if we were there, as our story.

 

Talmud Torah in the morning. (Torah study) A focus on the maggid, the telling of the passover story in the Haggadah. Complete with midrash, interpretation and expansion.

Later, around 4, over to Kilimanjaro Drive. Tara’s house. Steep driveway with cars parked at various spots along the way. All the way up to the top where I found a spot in front of a Tesla.

Thirty minutes before I had almost chosen not to go. Coming home in the dark. General inertia. A long standing aversion to parties. But this was Passover. At Tara’s. I’d be happy once I got there.

So I went to the liquor store, picked up a bottle of mid-range red wine and drove past Evergreen Meadows and past Evergreen Funeral Home where both Jon and Kate lay after death, down curvy N. Turkey Creek Road to the Mountains and roads leading to her house.

And I was happy to be there. Until we sat down to the table. Then the noise level, the angle of the voices, the general clash and clamor of a meal with eighteen other people. I began to recede. Off in my own quiet room of acoustical challenge. Nodding and smiling. Trying to keep up. Too often failing.

Now having to rethink even Passover, at least in people’s homes. Where it means the most. Where my friends want me. Where I want to be. The congregational Passover has round tables, more distance among the guests. Kate and I usually attended. I may need to go to it just so I can hear.

 

Talked to my son and Seoah on Friday night. Murdoch’s getting crate training. Seoah’s running, happy. We talked about Kate, her death, her wonderful life.

My son and I discussed details for the Jang family visit this summer. Money is, as you can imagine, an issue. 5 adults and two children. Seoah’s Mom and Dad, her brother, her sister and her two kids. Airfare, lodging, transportation. Food. That’s what we’re working out now. Need to make some decisions soon because Air BnB’s begin to fill up for the summer in this time frame.

Will be the trip of a lifetime for the Jang’s. The U.S. The Rocky Mountains. Deepening connections with my son’s side of the family. Myself, Ruth, Gabe.

Stay tuned.