Cancer. A journey

Fall and the Sukkot Moon

Friday gratefuls: Kristie Kokeny. Prostate cancer. Worry. Resolved. Kep. More and more. The Cloud Appreciation Society. The # has a name. Marilyn’s blog. Sukkot. The lulav. Rabbi Jamie. Humility. Anavah. Workouts. Hitting the mark. Family. Diane. The January 6th hearings.  Quiet time. Emily, the phlebotomist, too well known. Dr. Gonzalez.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Folks who care about my health

 

Disturbing. A phone call from my oncologist’s office. Kristie (my PA) has made changes in my treatment plan. At least that’s what I thought the message was. Before my lab results and before I meet with her on Monday? After several attempts to reach somebody at Urology Associates, frustrating, I finally found out what was going on.

Melinda, a nurse (I think), had left me a message asking if I wanted to change my appointment on Monday because Kristie planned to present my case to other doctors, including the radiation doc and bone specialists, but that wouldn’t happen until after Monday. The message was not clear on the phone.

Gotta admit I moved from disturbed to worried knowing that my case had moved to an all docs on board situation. No I did not want to change my appointment on Monday. I’ll still have my lab results and I want to talk to Kristie to find out what’s going on.

There was a question after my last scan about bony sclerosis on my spine. Two instances. The nuclear bone scan did not show any activity there, the ct scan showed only the sclerosis. I thought the bone scan trumped the ct scan and thought no more about it.

The concern continued for Kristie and Dr. Simpson, the radiation doc. It became a question of whether I would need an MRI to definitively determine the nature of the sclerosis. A tough call for claustrophobic me since it would take a long time, up to 45 minutes. Might mean general anesthetic. Not my favorite idea. Still. If necessary…

I hope that’s what the all docs on board case review is meant to determine. I’ll find out on Monday.

Took me a while, the evening, to recenter myself, collect my more normal sense of self back from my I’m a worried man, singing the worried song self. This morning I’m back to my usual, yes, I have cancer. Yes, I’m doing what I can. Working out. Healthy diet. Regular lab work. What my doctors prescribe. So the rest is as it will be. No gain in worrying about it.

What bothered me most about the call yesterday was how it left important things unsaid. Hanging. As Diane said, You’re in limbo. I don’t like that spot. I like to know what’s going on, even if it’s bad.

Once again, always, writing makes it easier, more manageable.