Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II
Shabbat gratefuls: Salam. Marilyn. Irv. Primo’s. A Mountain Morning. Shadow, sleeping with me. Protecting her territory. Great Sol, seen later and later. Trump Tarrific, with chronic moral insufficiency. Tomato Blooms. Tomato cages. Ruth and Gabe coming up Thursday. Beets. Chard. Spinach. Lettuce. Arugula. Drip irrigation.
Sparks of Joy and Awe: Physical therapy
Year Kavannah: Wu Wei
Week Kavannah: Ahavah. Love.
Tarot: King of Stones. Wolf. How can I reengage regular exercise?
One brief shining: Again a Shadow on my pillow, reaching across it to lick my face, then stand, body stretched on the head of the bed while investigating the back yard for intruders of any kind, violators of that invisible line Dogs draw in their minds and declare as their own.
Dog journal: On August 4th Shadow and I will celebrate 7 months together. Neither of us understood the magnitude of our commitment.
From her first days cowering under the bed to today Shadow has proved a challenge to me and me to her.
She had experienced the trauma of a fire in her home, then movement to an enclosure in the Trinidad, Colorado shelter, and after that transfer with her brothers to another shelter in faraway Granby. She had been there a week when Ginny, Janice, and I drove up the hour or so to meet her, up Berthoud Pass and through Winter Park on our way. Coming to my house was her fourth home in less than two weeks.
I have sensed a huge shift in our relationship. She’s more trusting, more willing. She has come inside every night for the last week, lowering my anxiety level. She responds to me more like other Dogs I have known.
Not all the way yet. Still no leash so she can’t go with me when I go out, but I feel we’re not far from crossing that barrier.
Has it been worth it? There were many days and even more nights when I felt I’d made a mistake, bound her to an old, achy back man who couldn’t give her the daily life she needed. I imagine there were even more days when she had similar feelings.
As the rhythm of our life has become clearer, as she leaves her under the bed spot to sleep beside me, and as her nights are, for me, less fraught, I can see the strong bond we’ve developed. I can see her genuine affection for me and see it no longer through the veil of her trauma induced fear.
We’re gonna be ok.
Just a moment: I have diagnosed red tie guy with chronic moral insufficiency. His chronic venous insufficiency correlates with it in that he eats like a starving teenager ready to chow down from whatever fast food place appears next. It endears him to certain parts of his base, sure, but it also adds a lot of bad fat into his blood stream.
I understand that Trump himself travels through this life as a fellow wanderer, a child of Mother Earth and her evolutionary marvels, and as such is worthy of our love. But. It makes me very uneasy to know this.