You Know You’re a Minnesotan If: Jeff Foxworthy List

Samhain                                                Waning Thanksgiving Moon

from friend, Tom Crane :

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights
each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too SPENDY” !

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there,

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,

If you know how to say…Wayzata. ..Mahtomedi. .Cloquet. Edina ..and Shakopee,

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,

If vacation means going “up north” for the weekend,

If you measure distance in hours,

If you know several people, who have hit deer more than once,

If you often switch from “Heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again,

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow  during a raging blizzard without flinching,

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,

If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,

If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill’s Fleet Farm at any given time,

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow  !

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,

If you can identify a southern or eastern accent,

If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,

If “Down South” to you means Iowa,                If you know “a brat” is something you eat,  &   If you find -10 degrees “a little chilly”,

If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends !!

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