Category Archives: Family

Video Phone Calls

Fall                                                                 Harvest Moon

I’m a geek of sorts.  I love computers, have owned many and, in fact, plan to buy another one soon.  Technological triumphalism, however, like most ecstatic extensions of an idea falls flat with me.  Technology will not solve our energy problem, at least not without substantial non-technological work such as conservation policies and actions, political barriers to fossil fuel use.  Technology does not make us smarter.  It gives us information quicker so that our intellectual reach expands but we still use our old mental processes.

With that caveat let me say that technology is truly wonderful.  I just spent half an hour with Mark and Mary again, connecting Minnesota, Saudia Arabia and Singapore with not only voice, but video.  It was a chance to catch up on each other’s lives, to take the pulse of each other with visual feedback as well as verbal.  This astonishes me.

 

Seeing Ourselves Through the Eyes of Others

Lugnasa                                                       Garlic Planting Moon

Just read a very interesting couple of threads on Quora about how persons from other cultures view US culture.   What’s most interesting  to me is the reveal achieved by others, showing us aspects of our common life, aspects we pay little attention to (the most likely reservoir of culture, BTW), for example:

American culture and society is a naturally high-trust society.

…religious diversity here has made me realize how many south american customs are rooted in catholicism,

and on this set of questions on another thread:  What parts of American culture are not easily understood by foreigners?  The list below is a composite from individual answers in this thread:

The view of American peculiarities depends on the cultural origin of the respondent.

What is generally found peculiar:

  • Permissive gun laws
  • Lawsuits
  • Euphemisms
  • Individualism
  • Resistance to the metric system
  • Fashion: chiefly ugly footwear

What Asians find more peculiar:

  • Less filial piety – disrespect for the elderly
  • “Cutting off” children upon adulthood
  • Manners: Small talk, sarcasm, showing off, pitching
  • Protecting individual rights to an extreme
  • Blurry social hierarchy
  • The notion that you can be happy without success
  • “Going Dutch” and tipping in restaurants
  • Drinking ice water year-round
  • Overmedication

What Europeans find more notable:

  • Manners: Exclamative language and loudness, enthusiasm, friendliness, liberal use of humour
  • Moral contradictions
  • Social injustice: healthcare, unemployment payments
  • Politics: Tolerance for lobbying, the Right Wing, the election system
  • Psychological traits: high trust, self-deprecation, diversity, openness
  • A culture of meetings
  • Sports
  • Subtitles instead of dubbing
  • Restaurants: boxing leftovers, waiting in line

Note: This list is to be treated as merely an index of motifs found in the answers below and does not attempt to construct a stereotype. Each item here should be read in context with the rationale of the individual answers where it is found

More on this later.

 

Far Flung Family

Lugnasa                                                 Garlic Planting Moon

Brother Mark has touched down in Riyadh, capitol of Saudi Arabia, for another year of bringing the joys of English to Arab nationals.  It’s a challenging working environment, but he got through last year, so I’m sure he can do this one, too.  It takes a certain kind of person to be outside their birth culture and thrive.  Mark’s done it for 20 + years and so has Mary (sister).

I spoke with both of them today via Skype, a near miracle as far as I’m concerned.  Their premium service, which I just repurchased, allows Mark, Mary, and me to be on a visual call at the same time:  Riyadh–Singapore–Minnesota.  We did it several times last year and it amazed me every time.  (BTW:  Woollies who read this.  We could use my subscription to loop in Paul and Jimmy, too)

 

 

# 68!

Lugnasa                                                              Hiroshima Moon

Kate and I went to the harness races at Running Aces.  The people watching there, as Kate said, is wonderful.  Big, little, old, young, wealthy, poor.  All kinds.

It was Kate’s 68th and the first birthday of her life since age 18 when she’s unemployed.  And happily so.  That’s a 50 year stretch.  Whew.

We had dinner at the bar, watched the pari-mutuel bettors using computer screens to bet races all across the U.S., thoroughbred and harness.  The users of these machines have an account that allows them to sign in, then bet using touch screens.  I don’t know how they reconcile the books, but it must be hugely complicated.

As we sat outside watching the gaily colored sulkies and the drivers in their equally colorful silks, dark clouds rolled in from the northwest, eventually sending a thundering rain to the ground.  That broke up the party.

Now we’re back.  Dogs are in bed.  Me, too, not long from now.

Good Enough

Lugnasa                                                                    Hiroshima Moon

When Kate and I visited our money in July, our financial planner, R.J. Devick, made an interesting observation.  Responding to the deluge of financial information–there are so many sources newsletters, private websites, newspapers, books, information services for financial professionals–he decided to have just four sources on which he relied, to the exclusion of the others.  I don’t recall the specific four, but they were high quality one private, one newspaper, one financial analysis group and something else.

He said he realized he could spend all his time reading and come away more confused.  Probably so.  There is, of course, a need, and I’m sure he does this, to check the continuing reliability of your sources, but overall this was an early information management strategy. Pare down your resources, make sure they’re high quality, then rely on them.

This struck me when Kate told me about seeing the quilt display at the MIA.  One of the artists dyed their own wool in slight gradations of hue in the same color, then used those variations as the design element in her quilts.  I asked Kate if she had any interest in learning to dye and she said no, quilting and piecing were what interested her.

Kate’s made a decision not unlike R.J.’s, an intentional choice to limit her range of interest in the service of getting higher and higher quality out of her work.  It’s a strategy some of the most creative folks apply, going back to the same well over and over again, though with infinite variation in treatment.

It may see obvious to you, probably does, but to me this is anathema.  And probably to my detriment.  I’ve written before about the valedictory life, the kind of life lived by valedictorians.  Once in awhile I check up on research about this topic because I was a valedictorian in the long ago faraway.  Mostly valedictorians don’t become famous experts, great writers or over achieving corporate climbers.

Why?  Because to be a valedictorian, you have to pay similar attention to all the classes that you take.  Or, at the least, in those classes that don’t come easiest, you still have exert enough effort to get an A or 4.0.  Apparently that style continues throughout life for most valedictorians.  That means we don’t achieve the kind of focus that designs the first computer, tracks down the most efficient way to manage information, builds the deep knowledge to become an artisan in cloth or paint.

Nope, we’re happily reading Scientific American, being a docent at a museum, writing a novel, translating Latin, putting in a vegetable and flower garden, doing all of these things at a reasonably high level but not high enough to stand out.  This is a hard life to accept, in one way, when achievement has been important, but it tends to not be the type of world beater achievement others expected.  On the other hand it meshes pretty well with the good enough life.  Good enough.

Mark’s Leaving Tomorrow

Lugnasa                                                    Hiroshima Moon

Another tour with developmentally disabled adults this morning.  A more interactive group this time though that might be because I had a better plan.

We focused on questions like:  Old or young?  What do you see that makes you say that?  Man or woman?  What do you see…?  How do you imagine Bartholomew feels?

Got good responses and attentiveness throughout our session.  It was a good feeling all round.

Today is Mark’s last day here.  He takes off tomorrow for Lansing, Michigan where our cousin Kristen lives.  Greyhound will carry him from here to there.  He plans to go to Detroit after that and visit our cousin Leisa who is in a nursing home after a stroke.  The rest of his visit, undecided.

His school year in Riyadh starts sometime after September 1st.  He has to be there between August 25th and then.  He hasn’t got his ticket yet because he has to get his visa redone, then send them on to the school’s folks here and they’ll book his ticket.

 

Intiba, Radix, Lactis Coacti, Ova

Lugnasa                                                               Hiroshima Moon

Spent yesterday with my nose in the Metamorphoses.  I’ve not been doing Latin every day, rather only when I can devote sufficient time to it, like 3-4 hours.  Yesterday I put in 6.  It’s not the best way.  Each time I have to crank up my Latin engine, which often acts like one of those old cars with the hand starter.  Better to keep the engine  running by daily exercise.

Still, I made progress.  Even had Latin nouns circling in my mind before I went to sleep:  intiba, radix, lactis coacti, ova.  That’s endive, radish, cheese (coagulated milk) and eggs.

Today Mark and I will make one attempt for his driver’s license.  By we I mean I’ll drive him over there and then sit as he waits in line.  For hours.  I hope he gets it though since it would allow him to rent cars in Saudi Arabia, be generally more free.

I sliced garlic and gathered rosemary last night, both for drying.  We bought a dryer several years back and each fall we process things.  First time for garlic, though Kate has done a number of herbs in the past.  I hope to dry apple this year.

Mark has a bank account, new passport and the material he needs for his visa.  The driver’s license is the main thing he wants now.  He leaves Friday for Lansing, Michigan to visit our cousin Kristen, then on to Detroit to visit Leisa and her husband, Bob.  She’s in a nursing home recovering from a devastating stroke.

 

The Expatriate At Home

Lugnasa                                                     Hiroshima Moon

After Lake Minnetonka, with a wonderful orange full moon, its size magnified by its nearness to the horizon, the full Hiroshima Moon, rising,  I headed over to the airport to pick up my brother, Mark, arriving on a somewhat delayed flight from Chicago.

Mark was full of stories of Saudi students, bad driving, camel–well, let’s just say breeding, walks in the market with a friend, the only two white men there.  Saudi Arabia is a country still grappling with modernity, the Sauds only in charge of all of Saudi Arabia since 1927.  The desert is not far out of their daily experience.

Mercurial is the word Mark uses to describe the Saudi’s he had as students, alternately affectionate and interested, then disdainful and slothful.  Sounds like certain American high schools I know.

He brought me a handcrafted pair of sandals, “A small guy in a caftan, squats on the floor all day and makes these sandals by hand.” and Kate an incense burner used in an Arab hospitality ritual.  Very nice gifts, carrying the feel of the Peninsula.

While he is here, he wants to get a bank account, another shot at his driver’s license and a new passport.

A guy in a much better place even than when he left last August.  Good to see.

An Annual Visit to our Money

Summer                                                                 Hiroshima Moon

Back from visiting our money at Bond and Devick.  Turns out the corpus breathes.  RJ Devick, the owner now of a firm started by Kate’s friend, Penny Bond, is a sharp guy with a keen understanding of finance and politics, a necessary union of skills.

We have our money in a largely conservative portfolio, one aimed at doing a little better when the market goes up and not so bad when the market goes down.  We’re trying to stay within 4% as our drawdown, so that plus pension (mine) and social security (both of us) represents our income stream.   We have some savings outside of the IRA, but the amount is small compared to the IRA.

Managing this money towards our retirement has required and requires our mutual attention.  We got a lot better at all of this about ten years ago, when we had a rude, unpleasant episode with a pre-collapse (of the US economy) debt load.  The message got through however and now we are fine in retirement.  Not fat, but not needy either.

Our situation is so much more fortunate than many of our contemporaries who will head into the post-retirement world with little savings.

High Cotton

Summer                                                    Hiroshima Moon

We’re back in high cotton here in Andover.  The chiller’s putting out cool air and the outside temps have veered back into roughly normal.  Makes working inside and out better.

Brother Mark comes to town next week for a week or so.  He has a new job in Riyadh, but he gets a return home visit and flight back as part of his package.  He’ll be with us, then move on to see a friend in Boston.

Tomorrow will be a Latin day since I have a session with Greg on Friday.  We move through the verses faster now, not as colleagues for the most part, though that happens from time to time, but definitely as more than student and teacher.  It’s been an interesting transition.

AMANDA HOUSE PHOTOGRAPHY!

We were walkin’ in high cotton

Old times there are not forgotten

Those fertile fields are never far away

We were walkin’ in high cotton

Old times there are not forgotten

Leavin’ home was the hardest thing we ever faced

-Alabama