Daily Archives: April 16, 2015

Health

Notes From Another Liminal Space

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Spring                                       Mountain Spring Moon

Kate reassures me. Old age prostate cancer is slow, non-aggressive. The treatments work. And, it’s true that Mark and Dick and my Dad, the three men I know personally who’ve had it, were all successfully treated.

I am not afraid. Yet I have returned to a liminal space, no longer healthy, yet not in immediate danger. This is life with a possible dangerous disease. Once I know for certain, even then, I will still be in a liminal space between either disease and death or disease and health. The move prepared me, taught me how to live between worlds and it will serve me well now.

This is life with a difference, life when the end is no longer abstract, but lurking in a known spot.

I’ve thought about the human as apex predator. We take from the animal world and only in the rarest of circumstances does it take from us. Now the predators who hunt us often come from within: cells of our own body, virus replicating, bacteria with a warm, rich host. Or, externally, motor vehicles and other humans.

Ours is a privileged eco-system, that of the apex of the apex predators. Most things feed upward toward our open mouths.

The tiny and the cunning pose our greatest risk, attacking us at a scale so small that we have difficulty imagining it. Cells multiplying are a danger to me. And my own cells? How ironic.

 

Colorado, Mountains, Weather +Climate
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Spring                                         Mountain Spring Moon

Snow continues to fall. Straight down, like rain, not sideways as in many Minnesota storms. It gathers, soft and pillowy over stumps, rocks, steps, decks and driveways. This is wet, heavy snow and it weighs down the ponderosa branches.

In the Denver area many trees have already leafed out and the heavy snow will be hard on them. Up here though the aspen have no buds yet. The willows I mentioned the other day are in the valleys, not this high.

 

Health, Weather +Climate

Waiting

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Spring                                                                          Mountain Spring Moon

Word from my doc today on the PSA. 6.3. Put that together with the physical finding and my dad’s prostate cancer. The picture is becoming clearer. On the 27th I’ll have time with a urologist whose specialty is prostate cancer. My internist recommended him.

I have no particular image of where things will go from here. Lots more information to gather. But, the PSA number did knock me back on my heels for a bit. Better now.

Just finished arranging the removal of the tree that destroyed the grandkids playhouse.

Now we wait. The snow has fallen hard on and off since morning. The winter storm warning itself doesn’t begin until this evening. They’re still predicting 1-3 feet of snow with Conifer in the middle of the high impact zone.

We need the snow for the snowpack and to up the moisture levels in the forests. So, we’re looking forward to a reclusive day or two. Might mean I don’t make the first event of the Rodeo All-Stars which is tomorrow night, but the Saturday rodeos should be fine.

Feelings, Health, Weather +Climate
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Spring                                                              Mountain Spring Moon

The mountain spring moon is a sliver, 7% of full, close to a transition to new moon. And what do we have? A snowstorm that may produce 1-3 feet, that’s FEET, of snow. Based on what it’s doing right now that might be a low estimate since, according to the forecast, the snow has until tomorrow evening to fall.

And, in other news. I had a distracted day yesterday but today I’m back to normal. Slept fine both nights. Whatever comes, comes. Kate’s a great source of support.