Leave the Viking in Minnesota. (seems right, eh?)

Samain                                                                                    Closing Moon

Breakfast at Keys, then over to Sears Outlet to talk ourselves out of taking our Viking stove with us. Looked at Warner-Stellian for a bit, stoves like Thermador and Viking are tres expensive! Considering an induction cooktop and a wall mounted electric oven for Black Mountain Drive. The point is we decided to go for more flexibility in Colorado.

Back for an early nap. Then, more packing. I’m really close on the study, but packing the smaller stuff is harder than the books. Books I’ve packed so often that I understand them intuitively. Smaller things I have to think about some, make sure things are secure and don’t rattle around.

Mike the Fence guy called for the code for the garage door. Good idea, but I didn’t know it. So I contacted Ann Beck, the realtor. Turns out I never got the code because it was never activated. Don’t know where Mike’s going to store his concrete now. He’ll have to figure something else out.

Things feel chaotic, not out of control, but easy to tip over in that direction. Then, there’s the I can see the other side from here feeling and things tip back into balance, or as much balance as this part of the move allows.. Shadow Mountain looms closer and closer each day, becomes more tactile.

 

 

Dog Gone

Samain                                                                          Closing Moon

IMAG0810This day a month from now we’ll be getting ready to collect the dogs from Armstrong Kennels, Kate in the rented cargo van and me in the Rav4. I’ll pick up Vega, Rigel and Kepler while Kate will take Gertie. We’ll drive together to Shorewood where I’ll pick up my co-driver, Tom Crane. Then it will be good-bye to Minnesota.

That thank you for visiting Minnesota sign at the border with Iowa will have a different IMAG0805signification for Kate and me. We’ve lived in the Twin Cities a similar amount of time, Kate coming in 1968 and me in 1971. So, ok, it was a long visit.

Don’t know why I’m writing about this except that the sense of abbreviation to our time here has begun to increase. It has become palpable, as if the future is pressing back against the present, calling us forward. As I wrote a day or so ago, the closest analogy seems to be the anticipation of Christmas for young children. Not so much in the sense of eagerness, though there is that element, but in the way a particular future day and its events can dominate a present moment.

Now even the small world between my desk and my bookcase, punctuated at one end with the computer and at the other by the gas heater, feels impermanent. I can see it stripped down, bare, then gone. That’s new.

More moving business today. Buy a new stove for the kitchen since we’ve decided to take our Viking with us. Take hazardous waste to a dump site. Perhaps deploy the bagster to clear some space in the garage.

Oh.

Samain                                                                       Closing Moon

Packing takes a toll in these last days. Not sure why, but each day I spend a good deal of time packing really wears me out. Not physically, but emotionally. It’s not resistance to the move itself, as I’ve said here before, rather I think it feels as if the packing has gone on too long.

Let me see if I can sort this out. I’ve been packing, with many generous breaks, since May. The bulk of the summer I packed books and sorted files, then packed them. I made an effort to get all the art and objet d’art packed before Labor Day, along with all the books in my study except those I use regularly. That was successful.

We’ve decluttered, thrown away, donated a lot of stuff. Some has gone to recycling. Then there was the search for the house, finding it, my seeing it, then the closing.

You can’t control the Universe. You are the water, not the rock
You can’t control the Universe. You are the water, not the rock

Living in the move, an idea I developed early on, has helped me see all this as the liminal space between our decision to move and our eventual settling in Colorado. But now living in the move is breaking down as we get close to the actual date. We are now having to live the move itself.

This seems like an understandable, normal response at this point, as I consider it. We’re neither completely finished, nor are we actually moved. So we’ve entered a time when planning and reality are about to collide. A part of me wants to rush through this, get on with it. Why is there this teaware and ceramics to pack? Why are there still these boxes of files to sort? Well, precisely because they are the things I chose to pack last. Oh.

The trick is to just stay in the moment. Let the day’s packing be sufficient there unto.

Will Steger

Samain                                                                 Closing Moon

Woollies met tonight at the only house owned by Warren and Sheryl in Roseville. They’ve been moved in for about a month and a half. Bill, Frank, Warren, Mark, Scott, Stefan and myself met with Will Steger. Tom is in Kansas City and Charlie H. decided he was unable to be in the same space as Will. Charlie H’s loss.

Will’s story is an interesting one. He had, from a young age, a clear vision. He wanted to live in the wilderness where there was no road. And become self sufficient. He achieved that goal by buying a piece of property two lakes away from the nearest road outside Ely, Minnesota.

Continuing what he described as a vocation for teaching through many venues, he almost quit exploration until the internet allowed him to connect school children with his journeys.

He described great enthusiasm for and confidence in the young generation, folks in their twenties. “They want purpose and are willing to work with their hands. They have not shut out the older generation like we did when we were young.” Will’s 70 this year.

His foundation, the Will Steger Foundation, focuses on educating kids. The Steger Center is an ambitious plan to open a topflight center for leadership education, in a building designed by Steger during his 222 day journey across Antarctica the long way.

The building he designed is under construction, getting built by interns who work with master stonemasons, tile-workers, wood workers in a master/apprentice relationship and volunteers who come up for weekends during the growing season.

He has a clarity of personal vision that is rare and the humility to share that vision with others. An inspirational guy, working at 70 toward a dream that he knows will outlive him.

 

Pickles on a Stick

Samain                                                                                Closing Moon

Thanks to Allison, Morrie, Sally, Mary, Joan, Wendy, Vicki, Bill, Carol, Antra, Joy, 0 (4)Kathleen, Merritt, Tom, Marcia, Sharon, Cheryl, Ginny, Florence, Carreen, Jane, Lisa for a wonderful, sweet, sad afternoon.

The hot dish, the pickles on a stick, the bundt form jello, the wild rice soup, the selection of desserts and the lefse with butter and sugar, all culinary masterpieces of Minnesota home cooking. There will be nothing like any of this in Colorado, I’m sure.

Friends for life, you all. My time at the museum became a place to see you, catch up on interesting lives and have conversations about art. A good life.

As I said this afternoon, this event was sweet and sad and those two in direct proportion to each other. Very sad, very sweet. Here are a few more pictures taken by Ginny:

0 (1)a Minnesota memories dish towel

0 (3)

Mary and Tom and the pickle tray

0

Wendy and Joy

0 (2)

notes from everyone written on the back of these Pre-Raphaelite cards. Antra (on the left) also did the calligraphy for a beautiful card.

 

 

Docents

Samain                                                                           Closing Moon

A going away party this noon at Allison’s. This is the docent class of 2005 gathering.

A recent Washington Post article about the Hirshhorn eliminating their docent program had a flurry of e-mails among the docent corps. Is this a trend? Is the MIA headed this way? The consensus seemed to be no, the MIA still wants its docents. At least right now.

It’s been eighteen months or so since I left the Docent program, pulling back to finish my novel, Missing, and to cut down on the number of trips I made each week into the city. Maybe an insider, now outsider’s reflections, would be useful. (I did finish the novel, though it’s unsold and I did cut down considerably on the number of trips into the city.)

Over the time period from 2001 to 2013 I volunteered at the MIA, first as a Collection in 2005. Initially, there were two wonderful fringe benefits draw to volunteering at the MIA. First, the continuing education was substantive. It featured art historians, curators from other museums, visiting lecturers for special exhibitions and overviews of upcoming exhibitions by the curators who designed and mounted them. A four inch thick notebook is filled with notes from the first five years or so.

The second was that these continuing educations were held on Mondays. The museum was otherwise closed on Mondays, so this meant we could come in for an excellent lecture, then stay and wander the museum, the empty museum.  This time alone with the art was, for me, sacred. The quiet galleries contained the long, powerful conversation that is art over the ages. It was possible to enter into the stream of that conversation by walking only from, say, Doryphoros to the Jade Mountain, or from Goya’s Dr. Arrieta to Beckman’s Blind Man’s Buff.

The loss of these two fringe benefits grew, for me, into a longstanding malaise, not yet dissipated after 18 months. It was the altering of the felt relationship between the museum and its volunteers, reflected in these changes, but not limited to them, that made me feel the time exchange was no longer balanced. I felt I was giving far more, in hours, in study, in tours than the museum was giving back to me in education or support.

In retrospect I wonder if the changes that I felt were part of this larger reconsidering of the role of the volunteer in museum life, a devaluing of the volunteer role. In the Hirshhorn’s case they continue tours, but with interns and paid staff. This suggests to me that the trend is not away from tours and other museum interactions with visitors, but toward a more substantive one, a role they feel only more educated individuals can fulfill.

Here then is the peculiar intersection that seems to loom just ahead. Volunteers, largely a well-educated group, but mostly amateurs when it comes to art history, may seem to offer too low a quality of knowledge and interaction, thus not presenting either the museum or the collection in the way staff and boards now believe necessary. What’s peculiar about this is that the old continuing education model offered a vehicle for raising, quite substantially, the art historical knowledge of volunteers.

Furthermore, I would have been willing to devote a good bit more time to education, both class-room and at home, self-guided, if it had been valued and supported. And, I imagine, many if not most of the docents with whom I worked would, too.

Instead, the museum has pulled back from challenging its docent corps educationally, reducing both quantity and quality of continuing education. It has also been moved to a much less desirable afternoon time slot during the touring week.

While the MIA may not be moving explicitly toward the Hirshhorn model, it has said in many ways over the last 5-8 years that the volunteer simply doesn’t have as much value. That’s dispiriting to those who remain.

 

More Organic Than Organized

Samain                                                                            Closing Moon

Villa Maria 2014Woolly brother Mark Odegard has suggested that we devote the next year (me in absentia) to documenting our process, our history, our way of being Woolly Mammoths. The premise is a good one. We’ve done something that worked since we’ve now been together over 25 years. An unstated premise is also a good one. We’re in the third phase of our life now and what moving vans don’t disrupt, illness and death will.

We’ve had conversations about telling our story, but it’s never gone anywhere. That’s largely because our structure has been strong, but informal, never working like an organization. We have been more organic than organized.

Mark’s idea seems like a good one to me.

 

Dwindling Resources

Samain                                                                              Closing Moon

The bookcase to my immediate right as I work, the one on which I keep books I refer to often is all but empty. These remain: Wheelock’s Latin Grammar, Anderson, Hill and Lee commentaries on the Metamorphoses, a Loeb’s volume of the Metamorphoses vol. I-VII and a Loeb’s of Caesar’s de Bello Gallico. My computer is still in its usual place, as is the laser jet printer. My desk and its two slanted editing tables are still there, too.

I didn’t get as far in here as I thought I would. Move ennui, a lassitude brought on by too much attention to packing and thoughts of leaving, enveloped me. So I stopped. Still, some progress was made today and I don’t feel the active resistance I did when I made the Whining post.

Here in these pages is a continuous record of the move from its earliest notion to its detailed enactment. Banal to the world at large no doubt but for me and for mine a testament to how we made a major life decision and took action to see it through.

Classic

Samain                                                                              Closing Moon

Back to the Latin over the last few days. It’s surprising how much like weight lifting and cardio-vascular work outs studying a language is. It needs constant effort. I let go of the discipline of daily translation for about a month and my ease of work with the language suffered considerably. I’m back to it now, but it’s a challenge, will take awhile to get the flow back.

(Philemon and Baucis)

Surprised myself on Friday by telling Greg that I’m hoping for a synthesis between my study of Latin and my study of art history. I thought I was doing this to implant the stories of the Metamorphoses in my head. Turns out I have an additional agenda.

What would the synthesis look like? Not sure right now, but one obvious route in is to look at all the art inspired by Ovid, then translate all the relevant stories (I did several for the Titian exhibition at the MIA) and learn the backstory about artists, paintings, the myths, and the Augustan context for Ovid’s work. Somewhere in there is probably something pretty interesting.

The Occult Sun

Samain                                                                              Closing Moon

sun calendarOn my circular calendar the large egg yolk in the center has begun to pull further and further away from the inner circle that counts the days in the year. What that means is that the daylight hours have receded considerably since Mabon, the Autumnal Equinox. The season of Samain, now two weeks old, runs from October 31st to the Winter Solstice, falling this year on December 21st.

Over Samain the air grows colder, plants go fully dormant, and the skies become gray, gravid with snow. By the Winter Solstice, the bleak midwinter, cold has come in earnest and the sun spends most of its time in other climes. These are the seasons for those of us acquainted with the night.

No wonder the brave lights of Diwali, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Years try to push back against the darkness. Some find it intolerable, oppressive. Long. In ancient times there was the fear that the sun, once hidden for too long, might forget to rise again, or, even if it did rise again, that it might stay on this diminished course. Fear of darkness lies deep in the human psyche, probably literally at the base of the brain.

Yet some of us welcome the coming of the darkness. Some of us know that underneath the barren fields some plants and animals do not wink out, but merely slumber, gathering themselves for the spring, preserving the hard one fruits of the growing season in roots or through hibernation. Some of us remember that the womb is a dark and liquid place, that in it we were once swimmers, beings of fluid grace and that the light is a surprise, an alien medium to us then. Some of us know that darkness is the realm of the heart and the place where creative acts take place.

Some of us watch the receding yellow on the circular calendar and count down toward our favorite holiday, the Winter Solstice.