Beltane and the Recovery Moon

Out of the house at 5:35 this morning. Headed for the j-tube placement. This procedure had reached almost mythic status. It was said to exist. Some where. And it was said that some could find it if only they searched diligently among many, many medical offices. In one of those offices the one who would say yes, it not only exists, but we will do one for you, surely dwelled.

And lo, finally, on this day, in a land to our south, Littleton, suburb of the city Denver, this fabled one, named Edwin Smith, took matters into his own hands and did in fact do the surgery. As we expected, it went well. None of the demons claimed to bar entrance manifested. Her lungs did well. Her weight and overall stamina proved more than adequate. No barriers from previous surgery like mesh and transflaps, no stomach adhesions. All was well.

She’ll come home tomorrow. Not sure when we actually begin the feeding using the j-tube. There is some weaning off the tpn apparently. But soon. Later, when this whole process has calmed down, we’ll head back to Gupta and the issue of lung disease. Diagnosis and treatment of that will end this no good horrible 8 months.

Just where we’ll be after that we can’t know, but a calmer, more stable place we both hope. Of course, there is the issue of my cancer and its treatment, too. We’ll know more about that after Friday.

Beltane and the Cancer Moon

Yesterday was Miss Ruth again. I can help with that. And, she does. A bag full of pruned Russia Sage by the garage door. The dogs fed. Pancakes for breakfast. Plucking the chicken off the carcass for the leek and chicken pot pies. Pitting a quart of cherries and baking them into a pie.

How did you get interested in baking? I read a Jodi Picoult book about a baker. After that, I just wanted to bake. Ruth’s the sort of reader I understand well. She reads and wants to inhabit the world she’s conjured in her mind through the words. She’s building multiple places she can go, people she can be, things she can do. It’s the trick to a versatile and imaginative life.

Kate. Ruth’s learned at an early age how to stop doing something if she’s frustrated. And, she has. When she comes back to it, she’s ready to go again. When you consider the trauma she’s been through over the last three or four years (and the conflict in Jon and Jen’s marriage even before that), she’s adapted and learned from it.

I forgot to tell her yesterday, but I admire her willingness, eagerness to learn, to help, to get in to something new and stay with it until she gets it. She does this with academics, sewing, art, friends, grandparents, dogs, food, life. Unless I’m missing something big, she’s gonna do/is doing fine.

Ruth remembers who taught her something. And thanks them. She has gratitude at her base. All she needs to thrive, really.