A Daughter is Stolen from her Mother

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Monday (across the date line) gratefuls: Mary’s birthday! Shaking off the body’s desire to still be in Colorado. Back home in Songtan. Everybody happy to be here. Most of all Murdoch. Warm and humid. 96%! Not the arid U.S. West. Korean fried chicken for dinner last night. Watermelon from Okgwa, Seoah’s parent’s grown. Being here. Faraway, yet with those closest to me.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: My little family

One brief shining: At the table we’d sat around in Warner Robbins, Georgia, on Hickam AFB in Hawai’i, now in Songtan, Korea my son, Seoah,  and I ate fried chicken, drank water and chatted about tours we could take in the land of the morning calm.

 

Daughters are stolen from their mothers. Seoah repeated this bit of Korean folk wisdom to me as her mother stuffed watermelons, long beans, an Instant Pot, a blender, a mystery appliance, and other items into various bags before we headed back to Songtan. This sudden efflorescence of baggage required Joe to remove the golf clubs, stow the cargo cover, and arrange everything carefully.

Appa and Umma watched as did Seoah’s youngest sister and her daughter. Appah went into his machine shed and gathered some cold bottled water for all three of us. He gave everyone a hug, smiled. Seoah’s younger sister prodded her daughter who came over and gave me a delightful hug. A loving and familiar sendoff after a family visit to the farm.

 

Korea is a land of low Mountains covered by deciduous Trees, vines, and in obvious open spaces the mounded graves and grave markers important to this still Confucian inflected culture. It reminded me a bit of the Smokies. Except no signs for boiled peanuts, no Confederate battle flags. The journey from Okgwa to Songtan took us through many, many tunnels. At least twenty, perhaps more.

Most of the traffic control on the highways involves photo enforcement and various, often odd, reminders. Like the occasional actual rear end of a police car with a speed limit sign attached. Or, also a speed limit sign, but a police mannequin below watching the traffic. At regular intervals there are flashing blue and red lights like those on a stopped police car. A subliminal message? Not sure.

Unlike Korean urban drivers these highway drivers were sedate and orderly for the most part. Very few angry speeders or the dimwit who weaves in and out to gain a few seconds advantage. Urban drivers here, at least according to Joe, are unpredictable and erratic. I’ve not witnessed this myself.

 

Today or tomorrow I’ll start exercising again. Gotta do more resistance work. My back is sore and I’m weaker than I like. Feels good to be on vacation with my home duties signed off to Vince and Luke, bills paid, and money in the bank f0r the trip. Also to be in a country as far away my own culture as Korea.

A traveler can focus on the similarities or the differences between their home culture and the place they have traveled to. Neither focus gives a true picture of a cohesive culture, an intricate web of customs, assumptions, language, location, ethnicity, history, and ambition.

Glad to be here long enough for immersion.

 

A Birthday Party

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Seoah’s mom and her 70th birthday party. In Gwangju. Her dad, a sweet guy. Her two sisters and her brother. Outback Steakhouse. The three hour drive from Songtan to her small village outside Okgwa. Highway rest stops along the way. The verdant, overgrown Mountains. The Rivers. Those grave sites high on the Mountain sites. Seoah’s memories. Swimming in the River. Playing in the Mountains. School. My son’s careful, steady driving.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Being able to translate the Hangul (mostly)

One brief shining: My poor jet lagged body kept me in a purple haze for most of the trip to Seoah’s parents I saw the passing countryside, the blue tiled roofs, the goofy speed signs with a mannequin policeman, listened to Seoah’s commentary, but not much made it past the veil.

 

We arrived in Okgwa after a long and congested trip on various Korean highways. Her brother had built her parents a brand new home, mostly concrete, stylish inside with an all white interior, polished floors, marble kitchen surfaces, in room mini-splits, and designed lighting. Kate and I saw the old house so I could see the contrast. Huge.

Four bedrooms so the family could stay for holidays or just because. One bedroom was the one he always uses when he visits. He lives in Osan as do Joe and Seoah. Knowing I was recently arrived and an elder, he gave up that room to me and slept last night on the floor with two of Seoah’s nephews. Not as onerous as it might sound since sleeping on the floor is still common in Korea. Joe, Seoah, and Murdoch found their room.

At 5:40 we drove to Gwangu, about 30 minutes away, and found the Outback Steak House. A much different experience than in the U.S. It had high stairs on both sides leading to an entrance on a balcony. Seoah’s oldest sister showed me the way.

The sisters had a clever idea. In a cake shaped object with decorations there was a card. When Seoah’s mom took out the card to read it, it caused a ribbon of 5000 Won notes to pull out. $1,500 worth. Her grandchildren gathered around her, her husband read the card to her, and behind the two of them was banner with an early picture of them as a couple and congratulatory statements.

The original plan was for all to go to a karaoke place. OMG! Someone said no. Instead we all drove back to the new house and had an after party. Seoah’s youngest sister, her husband, and her three kids stayed the night. In the morning Seoah’s mom made a traditional Korean breakfast for all. Tofu soup. Rice. Bulgogi. Kimchi. Bean sprouts. Egg pancakes. Quail eggs and mushrooms. Delicious.

The drive back. Much less eventful. We got back. Tired. But with another family memory in place.