Winter and the Future Moon
Friday gratefuls: Quest labs. Einstein Bagels. Tony’s Market. Walgreens. The Shell station carwash. Ruby, the new Rav4 and its heated seats. The cattle that gave their lives for the meat at Tony’s. Kate’s good seal on her feeding tube last night. Jon and the grandkids coming up for a brisket meal after skiing.
Went to Quest labs yesterday, order in hand for the sensitive PSA test that will tell how well the lupron has worked. As I walked into the lab, everything seemed ordinary, the parking spot behind the Audi, the automatic doors that slid open, the stairs up to the lab. The friendly young lady with the needle.
And, of course, it all was ordinary. Except. This was about cancer. Mine. I’ve become familiar with the dissonance between the ordinariness of these visits and my stake in their outcome. It produces an out of body feeling, not anything dramatic, but a sense that this is happening to someone else. Not true, however.
Will find out soon. My next lupron injection is on January 6th. Great fun. One more in the glutes.
While out I bought bagels, a couple of ribeyes for a New Year’s surf and turf meal, some adhesive bandages, and got the car washed. Just more errands. More ordinary.
Signed up for another kabbalah class, this one using Art Green’s Radical Judaism. Art is a mentor of Jamie’s, still alive in his eighties. His book appeals to me. My own thinking has gone along similar lines though Art’s done a systematic job. Not my style. I lived out my changed attitude toward religion and tradition, writing about it only in shorter pieces. Looking forward to this.
Thought readers of this blog might appreciate these:
The Eleven Awareness Practices of Kabbalah Experience
- Pay attention to what shows up as a reflection of what you still need to learn and grow into.
- Be present to the moment. This includes fully processing emotions that come from the past and how plans for the future impact your present living.
- Accept reality as it is. Live with a deep sense of gratitude. Seek and offer forgiveness in your everyday experiences.
- Live by setting intention. Be open to possibility—one door closing opens another. Measure success by effort not by outcome.
- Hold opposites and recognize that those qualities you may judge in others are mirrored in you. Seek common ground with others.
6. Set limits to access greater intimacy and focus in your relationships.
7. Expand your concern and love for the “other”.
8. Recognize the multiplicity of masks you wear (so they don’t wear you).
9. Perceive and understand the metaphors that underlie your life choices.
10. Witness the masks and metaphors and enter a state of no-thingness.
11. Flow in the paradox of being and non-being in every moment.
