Transactions

Imbolc and the Megillah Moon

Monday gratefuls: Talking with Kate. Kep in the morning. More Snow. Chili. Making. A dawn red Sky over Black Mountain with blue sky behind. The Ancient Ones. Going deep. Life pivot points. Alcoholism. Covid. Vaccines.

Sparks of Joy: Red in the Sky. Bill’s love story. Purim.

20th Anniversary, 2010

Realized yesterday that one of the issues with caregiving is that so many interactions are transactional. Change a bandage. Free oxygen tubing from the door. Take down the feed bag. Get coffee. Food. Talk about how to deal with illness. Money meetings. Getting the newspaper. And so on.

Nothing wrong with these. Nothing at all. In fact they define caregiving. But. They are not the casual back and forth of a couple meeting in the kitchen while making a sandwich. Talking on the way to a restaurant. Over a meal. While working together in the garden or listening to music at a concert.

Transactions are typically one way in caregiving. Who wants that? No one, but it is a fact of life with someone who is chronically ill. I know this is obvious, but it has just occurred to me.

Why is it important? Because it’s the casual interactions when the relationship grows, learns about itself, nurtures both ways. This can happen during transactional moments; but, then the emphasis, the attention, is on completing a task, making sure it was done well. Not the same, not the same at all.

Working on how to introduce more casual time into our day. Kate wants to play games. OK, that’s one way. I want to sit down and talk. Her fatigue and lack of stamina make even these simple ideas difficult. Often she’s in bed. Disappeared.

Any ideas from out there in Ancientrails world? Happy to hear them.

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