Spring Waning Bloodroot Moon
Once in a while something comes into my life and it feels like a part of me already, as if a missing piece had come back home. Meeting Kate was like that for me. My split-off. When the Wednesday classes for the two-year docent program began, art history came home. When I found a Jungian analyst over 25 years ago, my Self began to return. Last night I attended my first Tai Chi class. Another wandering aspect of myself has joined the others at the hearthside.
When my hands floated up last night into the second position, I felt an energy pushing away from my body, just I felt it collecting as I pulled my elbows in and those same hands back toward my body. A sense of inner peace, momentary, but real, emerged. My first class, but not my last.
It may be true as an article in the Star-Tribune this morning claimed, that memory takes longer to cement as we grow older, may be, but for me, I hold out for variability, that some things to take longer to seat, yes; but others, because they’re compelling or because they’re split-offs that have found their back to the homestead, just rejoin as if they’d never left.
I’m going to confess something here. There’s a part of me, a looky-loo part, that hopes disasters will go all the way like the earthquake and the tsunami in Japan or the financial crisis or the riots sweeping the Middle East. A part of me wants to see what a nuclear meltdown would entail. What if that chief villain of high tech actually happened? What would the consequences be? Really? This is not at all a desire to see more disasters or worse catastrophes, rather it is a sort of morbid curiosity, a curiosity about extremes. What if a volcano like Mt. Rainier or Mt. Fuji erupt at full force? What if the sea levels do rise by 2 feet or more? This is the immoderate part of me, that aspect that wants thing to extend to their logical conclusion.
I wouldn’t feel embarrassed about this at all if there wasn’t the possibility, the great likelihood, of serious injury and death to people and eco-systems. So, I feel embarrassed, but still interested.