Asides

General
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Beltane                                                                Summer Moon

Vega goes in for a cyst removal this morning at 9. That means no food for her. Dogs don’t like not being fed. It makes them unhappy. So I’m up much earlier than normal.

Gonna head out in a minute or two for more mulching, this time with hay from bales I bought early last fall and let sit out in the rain to germinate any living seeds. They’re looking safe to use now.

Occurred to me last night that the photographers who will showcase our home on the internet probably should come take some pictures, outside ones, now.

 

General
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Beltane                                                                   Summer Moon

Out to the orchard for the bi-weekly spraying, going to hit the gooseberries and the flowers, too. Then, plant another round of beets. Stuff’s hopping here, house getting emptier, though not much visible yet, boxes getting packed, dressers emptied. That sort of thing.

 

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Today is a Latin day. Work with Greg at 11:00 am on the story of the killing of the Python by Apollo. That’s Book I:416-450. I’ve finished translating it and since I began this round of translating at Book I:1 that’s as far as I’ve gotten. By the time I hit Book II at verse 779, and perhaps before, I’ll be able to translate on my own. Then I’ll rely on occasional consultation with Greg, Perseus, my collection of commentaries, Wheelock, dictionaries, other English translations and, of course, the Latin text, most often the one mounted on Perseus, but I have other manuscripts, too, especially the Oxford Classical Text, considered the current scholarly consensus.

Colorado, The Move
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Beltane                                                        New (Summer) Moon

We’ve located a realtor and have a second move manager, SortTossPack, coming out next Monday to show us their services. The goal this month is to get the garage done. In June we’ll do the financial consultations to see what our overall budget will be for the move. We’ll also move on to one room in the house and finish the sheds. Meanwhile, the garden.

Tackling the garage has kept me in the here and now. Nothing like a drill, sledge hammer and crowbar to focus the mind. I can see the benefit in working with tools. They demand your attention.

 

 

General
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I feel like P.T. Barnum. They were a bust. I got up at 2:30 am to see broken clouds and no fire running behind them, only the big bear pointing out the north star. Oh.

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Beltane                                                   Emergence Moon

Tomorrow we meet the move manager from Gentle Transitions. I’m excited about hearing what she has to say. Getting ourselves on a schedule of some sort, one that has some experience behind it, should ease the mechanics of moving, the part that daunts me the most right now. (after the altering of friendships) With an overall scheme I will be able to inhabit the place Move, rather than feel stuck between being fully here and trying to be there.

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Beltane                                                            Emergence Moon

Not a lot to say right now. Feeling written out or repetitive. So, shhh. for now.

Feelings
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Beltane                                                                 Emergence Moon

Once again, early morning. Up since 3:30. Not worried, just not sleeping. Lying there as the moonlight streamed in the window, turning to this familiar posture, then that. Mind chugging along, chewing on something which, even at this point closest to it, I can’t recall.

Calm. Just. Awake.

These times puzzle me with their resistance to solution.

Family, Health
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Beltane                                                                   Emergence Moon

A combination of back pain, percocet and melancholy has dulled the mind. It’s like thick gray wool packed in at the temples, crowding thought, squeezing it into channels too narrow. Concepts and ideas get clogged, adhere to each other, don’t come apart, so writing is more like picking cotton than fly fishing in a cold running stream. And, my fingers tremble a bit, unable to collect the bolls of thought, at least ones that might go together.

Hell might be such a state permanently in place, where the ideas and the concepts, the feelings are there, somewhere, but so difficult to access, to string together. It erodes the sense of self, makes character a matter of chance acquisition rather than moral choice.

This morning the gray wool packing has diminished, though the mixed metaphors here may not show it. The back’s better, though still stiff and painful. I can’t imagine Kate’s life where a certain amount of this pain never leaves her. The pain distracts me, at times it’s all I have energy for; yet, I know it will pass. For her, it is resident.

 

 

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Beltane                                                                  Emergence Moon

Been taking brain befuddlers over the last 24 hours to reduce the pain in my back. Works pretty well, but leaves me with less than a complete train when it comes to thought. Not liking this effect is one of the strongest guards against addiction, that and limiting use to times of genuine pain.

Like the low-lying mental cumulus the back pain comes once in a while. Limits movement and reminds me to appreciate those hours when it is absent.