Category Archives: Friends

Docents

Samain                                                                           Closing Moon

A going away party this noon at Allison’s. This is the docent class of 2005 gathering.

A recent Washington Post article about the Hirshhorn eliminating their docent program had a flurry of e-mails among the docent corps. Is this a trend? Is the MIA headed this way? The consensus seemed to be no, the MIA still wants its docents. At least right now.

It’s been eighteen months or so since I left the Docent program, pulling back to finish my novel, Missing, and to cut down on the number of trips I made each week into the city. Maybe an insider, now outsider’s reflections, would be useful. (I did finish the novel, though it’s unsold and I did cut down considerably on the number of trips into the city.)

Over the time period from 2001 to 2013 I volunteered at the MIA, first as a Collection in 2005. Initially, there were two wonderful fringe benefits draw to volunteering at the MIA. First, the continuing education was substantive. It featured art historians, curators from other museums, visiting lecturers for special exhibitions and overviews of upcoming exhibitions by the curators who designed and mounted them. A four inch thick notebook is filled with notes from the first five years or so.

The second was that these continuing educations were held on Mondays. The museum was otherwise closed on Mondays, so this meant we could come in for an excellent lecture, then stay and wander the museum, the empty museum.  This time alone with the art was, for me, sacred. The quiet galleries contained the long, powerful conversation that is art over the ages. It was possible to enter into the stream of that conversation by walking only from, say, Doryphoros to the Jade Mountain, or from Goya’s Dr. Arrieta to Beckman’s Blind Man’s Buff.

The loss of these two fringe benefits grew, for me, into a longstanding malaise, not yet dissipated after 18 months. It was the altering of the felt relationship between the museum and its volunteers, reflected in these changes, but not limited to them, that made me feel the time exchange was no longer balanced. I felt I was giving far more, in hours, in study, in tours than the museum was giving back to me in education or support.

In retrospect I wonder if the changes that I felt were part of this larger reconsidering of the role of the volunteer in museum life, a devaluing of the volunteer role. In the Hirshhorn’s case they continue tours, but with interns and paid staff. This suggests to me that the trend is not away from tours and other museum interactions with visitors, but toward a more substantive one, a role they feel only more educated individuals can fulfill.

Here then is the peculiar intersection that seems to loom just ahead. Volunteers, largely a well-educated group, but mostly amateurs when it comes to art history, may seem to offer too low a quality of knowledge and interaction, thus not presenting either the museum or the collection in the way staff and boards now believe necessary. What’s peculiar about this is that the old continuing education model offered a vehicle for raising, quite substantially, the art historical knowledge of volunteers.

Furthermore, I would have been willing to devote a good bit more time to education, both class-room and at home, self-guided, if it had been valued and supported. And, I imagine, many if not most of the docents with whom I worked would, too.

Instead, the museum has pulled back from challenging its docent corps educationally, reducing both quantity and quality of continuing education. It has also been moved to a much less desirable afternoon time slot during the touring week.

While the MIA may not be moving explicitly toward the Hirshhorn model, it has said in many ways over the last 5-8 years that the volunteer simply doesn’t have as much value. That’s dispiriting to those who remain.

 

The End of the Ending and the Beginning of the Beginning

Samain                                                                       Closing Moon

With our closing Black Mountain Drive on Samain, October 31st and the Celtic New Year, it has meant that the final phases of the move, the last packing, the loading and transport of our household will all happen during Holiseason. Though we made no effort to have things work out this way, from a Great Wheel perspective and on my personal liturgical calendar, it couldn’t have happened better.

By closing on Samain and wrapping up the move in this 6 week season which began on Summer’s End (Samain), it means we will start our new, mountain life in this time of beginnings. It also means that the move will mark a harvest of our Minnesota lives and then a long fallow season, stretching into the next spring. Over that time we will nourish roots tentatively planted in new soil.

Furniture will get positioned. Clothes sorted into closest and drawers. The kitchen will fill up with our dishes, pans and utensils. Rugs will go down. Kate’s Bernina and her long arm quilter and her stash and her ironing board and her work tables will find their positions. Her new sewing room will take shape. The reading chairs will go in front of the fireplace, a new kitchen table, made of wood from pine beetle killed trees, will come into being. My treadmill and weights, computer and work tables, and books will occupy the loft area over the garage.

The dogs will have their places, not yet fully determined, either by them or by us. The Rav4 will have its own bay and the new snow blower will inhabit space in the garage, too.

We will arrive in Colorado during Advent and in the middle of Hanukkah. Winter solstice 2014 will find us on  Shadow Mountain with a non-light polluted view of the longest night’s sky.

Our movers project December 21st to December 24 for delivery. Christmas day we will be opening boxes filled with materials we use to live our life. What better presents? Over those final, often dismal days at the end of the year, we will be moving in. And on New Years we can have a party of our own, as we always do, a quiet evening to mark the coming of 2015.

Over these Holiseason days, which come to an end on Epiphany, January 6th, the grandkids and Jon and Jen and Barb will come over. We will eat meals together and begin to adjust to this new, closer to each other, reality. Actually, as I write this, it occurs to me that Holiseason will extend well into January with the coming of the National Western Stock Show. This event has been an annual trip to Colorado since Ruth was 3 and is a celebration of things Western and ranch.

There will also be new people to meet. Perhaps through the sheepshead meet-up group, quilting retreats, the Rocky Mountain Chapter of the Sierra Club, the Colorado Beekeepers Association. At restaurants and service locations like the Colorado Toyota Service center. In ways we do not yet know.

All this over the dark, cold, snowy time so that in the spring or early summer perhaps, we can emerge with our new life ready to bloom, to sink roots deeper and to enjoy the mountain summer.

 

A Sweet, Sad Thing

Samain                                                                                       Closing Moon

It is a sweet sad thing, this leaving. Tonight before sheepshead Bill Schmidt and I ate supper at the St. Clair Broiler. the last such meal before our monthly card game. We’ve played cards 60 different times over a period of 8 years. That’s a long time. Bill and I have eaten together most card nights for the last couple of years.

We ate, talked of his daughter, his grandchildren. He gave me a gift, a CD, a Celtic Thunder Christmas. It has two songs on it with a distinctly Celtic (Irish) flavor and the rest is well-done versions of various Christmas standards. But it was not the music so much, he said, but the idea of holidays and Celtic and Christian together, all part of my way: holiseason, long years in the Christian ministry and a now long standing immersion in Celtic sensibilities about the land, the nature of time and joy, life and death.

At the game tonight, which did not go well from a score keeping vantage point for either Bill or me, we played with a sense of ending. Dick, Roy and Ed had not been caught up on our purchase in Conifer, nor, really, our reasons for leaving. We spoke of them.

At the end of the evening Judy made an apple crisp that was delightful, Roy had written a closing piece that would be a good eulogy and Dick Rice gave me a t-shirt with the Celtic triskelion and the sacred raven. I was told I would I would be missed and felt it.

As I said in my post from last night, I am a rich man. Yet, it is this richness that makes leaving sad, and, the leave takings themselves, also sweet. And, precious.

 

Restless

Samain                                                                  Closing Moon

A rambling, aimless energy. A similar feeling to the one just before a major holiday, when preparations are mostly finished, but the time is not yet. Wandering, a bit difficult to focus, not sure what’s important, since most of the important things have either been done or cannot be done yet. We have a mortgage, a new home, a fence contractor at work, a moving company scheduled, workers ready to renew our old home after we vacate it. Yes, there are a few things left for us to pack, but they’ll be finished soon. But we don’t leave until mid-December. An odd place.

This is no longer the neither here nor there feeling, nor the liminal space of living in the move. This is a before the move feeling. We’ve pushed Sisyphus-like this boulder up, up, up the hill and now it’s about to take all that momentum and careen down the other side. But. Not. Quite. Yet.

Off to play sheepshead tonight, perhaps my last time unless I teach the game to Jon, Jen, Kate and Barb. A good distraction. And another farewell.

Just went online, put in Colorado sheepshead and found, to my surprise, a meetup with 10 members, formed Oct. 25, 2014 for players of sheepshead. I joined. Who knows? Might be fun.

Forgot to mention that I also got an invitation to be introduced to the Conifer Rotary. I’ll probably pass on that. Sierra Club or the local Democratic party are more likely affiliations for me.

 

Rich in History and Rich in Memory

Samain                                                                               Closing Moon

Lunch today with Ode, discussing a brochure, a sales book for our house at the Birchwood Cafe. Dinner tonight with Tom, Roxann and Kate at Cafe Zentral. Each of these moments, extending friendships, adding to the years of time together, and in that sense not all that remarkable, are nonetheless remarkable. And poignant.

At lunch today Ode passed me as he came to sit down, placed his hand a moment on my shoulder. In that brief touch was twenty-five years of shared history, of knowing each other. We ate, spoke of our move to Conifer-“This is really happening,” he said.-his upcoming long trip to France with Elizabeth, about the cutting boards he was making of exotic woods. Then, we discussed which pictures, what words, might help that one person or couple see our property as their next home. And we were done.

Kate and I came early to Cafe Zentral, a relatively new restaurant at 5th and Marquette in the old Soo Line Building. The blue line runs beside it, on its way out to the airport and the Mall of America, on the way back to Target Field where the Twins play.

This place is dim, in the way that upper end restaurants often are. The food was excellent and continued that trend I’ve experienced elsewhere. That is, you get less food as you pay more for it. Gotta be one of the few products for which that’s the case.

It was not the food though, not the restaurant, not the blue line or the downtown location, but the friends. Tom and I have been Woolly Mammoths exactly the same length of time. We were initiated at Valhelga together, a year or so after the Mammoths came into existence.

Again, we spoke of this and that, but even the content of the words was not so much the point, but the being together, the being seen by each other, the acknowledging of those years, the now long years we’ve known each other.

So today I am a rich man. Rich in friends and in history. And able, thanks to long years of analysis, to say good-bye and retain these friendships. To see the parting not as final, not as abandonment, but as the closing of a chapter, the end of a period of time. I’m grateful to all these friends who value me enough to say farewell.

 

That In The Cave With A Roaring Fire Feeling

Samain                                                                                   Closing Moon

Tomorrow night Cafe Zentral with Tom and Roxanne. Next Monday with the class of 2005 at Allison’s. Thanksgiving at the Capital Grille with Anne. Then, the Nicollet Island Inn on December 15th. It’s both the holiseason and a time of farewell. I’m looking forward to all these times.

Our goal is to have all of the packing that we’re going to do done by Thanksgiving and that feels realistic to me, in spite of my last post. I’ve had a nap.

We have that in the cave with a roaring fire and a hunk of early bison roasting feeling. You know, animal skins snug around us, plenty of meat and berries in the pantry, a wintry landscape outside. No raiding the local grocery stores necessary for a reasonable time. A pleasure of humankind for the last fifty to a hundred thousand years.

Come to think of it, I guess that’s why meals together bring such warmth. That kind of conviviality goes way, way back.

Neither Here nor There

Samain                                                                        Closing Moon

Finding myself in a strange psychic netherworld, neither wholly ready to act, nor wholly unwilling, between this state and that state. This mood will lift, perhaps by tomorrow, but right now. Neither this nor that. Doesn’t seem odd to me, one possible result from what feels now like a rush to the finish, yet the location of that rush to the finish being a place of stasis for over 20 years.

Living in the move has been our mantra for the last 8 months and we will, in just over a month, live the move. That’s a different interior location, the difference between preparation and action. While in the mode of preparation we have been able to live the comfortable old life and indulge in fantasy about Colorado. Now, though, the preparation is coming to an end and we will have to face the real world consequences of our decision.

One conversation I had with a friend over the last month lead us to wonder if there is no morality, just consequences. That is, ideas and actions are neither good nor bad, just consequential. Whatever the truth value of that idea, it does seem that maturation comes when we accept responsibility for our actions and their consequences.

In this case there are two large stroke consequences that have been obvious from the beginning; the notion of living in the move has been an exercise in accepting both of them. The first is a going away from, a leaving behind of friends, memories, familiar places, habits and routines. The second is a moving toward, a discovering of new places, new friends, creating new memories, habits and routines. No, it’s not as black and white as I state it here. The two consequences will bleed into each other, interact. Friends will visit Colorado; we will return to Minnesota for example.

But the consequences remain. Physical separation, especially 900 miles, changes the nature of all kinds of relationships: personal, geographical, botanical, navigational. The exact nature of the changes will not be known for several years, probably, and that’s a good thing. A gradual rather than a sudden unveiling seems easier on the psyche.

Counting Down

Fall                                                                                    New (Samain) Moon

photoR

The Woolly meetings count down, now 2, November and December. Tonight a writing teacher came, courtesy of Charlie Haislet. We met in the casual room of the University Club, that quirky brick and ivy place where Summit curves north toward the cathedral and the state capitol.

We wrote, sharing pieces of our lives, not pieces held back necessarily, but pieces discovered in the writing and new then to the rest. It was a warm and loving meeting, for men of our age perhaps unusual, at least among the white educated demographic from which we all come.

I needed this immersion among my friends, my brothers because the week has been strenuous, even stressful. Yet, the time also points up the loss, heightens the foreground/background shifting of life now. Minnesota/Colorado. Colorado/Minnesota. In the mountains, on the Midwest.

When I drove down Highway 10 tonight, a point came where one sign indicated Minneapolis and the other St. Paul. Tonight I chose the left hand path since my destination was St. Paul. But, in a way that fork in the road sums up the last twenty years, living now north of two cities in which I have lived and places I love, going sometimes to this one and sometimes that.

The uncertainty of the mortgage underwriter decision process drains the joy out of this time for me and I look forward to knowing whether we will be able to proceed or not. If not, it’s back to the looking process. If so, it’s hop in the truck next week, canned goods and a computer onboard, an air mattress, a picnic set for dining at the new place, a bedroll. Signing documents here and there, talking to fencing contractors. Getting the new place turning toward our life.

Quirky

Fall                                                                                  Falling Leaves Moon

After lunch yesterday, Bill Schmidt went on further north, going up highway 95 from Marine toward the use to be town of Franconia, now home to a quirky, but sensational sculpture park. He took a few photographs.

Thanks Bill for sharing lunch and the photographs. BTW: Franconia sculpture park is on 95 just south of Highway 8.

Franconia5Franconia4Franconia3Franconia2

End Times

Fall                                                                               Falling Leaves Moon

Maybe I’ll look back a year from now, from somewhere high in the Rockies when the sky hits mountain blue and the cirrus mimic the tails of nearby horses, maybe I’ll look back and remember this day. 62, sunny, blue skies with high wispy cirrus clouds and leaves just starting to turn. And a drive east toward Stillwater, toward the St. Croix, with the intention of lunch with Bill Schmidt at the Gasthaus Bavarian Hunter, but finding it full, going to Sal’s Angus Grill, a biker bar in Whitworth. Whitworth? An intersection, near as I can tell, with a huge ballroom and Sal’s, the whole town.

The drive from here took me east through the northern reaches of the Twin Cities exurbs, across Anoka County with its sod farms and nurseries, lakes and marshes and forest, then across Washington County with its expensive country estates, more marsh and lakes and plenty of cute decorations for Halloween. It was an hour so of ambling through the very southern end of the Boreal Forest, seeing the blue-black lakes reflecting back the sky, choppy with light winds. A lot of other folks out, too, just driving, seeing an October wonder day.

Bill invited me to lunch and I picked the spot since he was driving on from there to see the color along the St. Croix, something he and his late wife, Regina, would often do, meandering as the day took them. That’s how we ended up at Sal’s, wandering north from the Gasthaus. We ate, talked about the move to Colorado, his family, but mostly we affirmed our now long friendship, passing an October lunch with each other.

And so the end times have begun. I expect no rapture, no bugles, no seals breaking, no anti-Christ rising but I do anticipate moving from this place, my home for over 40 years. With that move so much will become past. The Gasthaus. An easy lunch with a friend of many years. Access on a whim to houses and neighborhoods where I’ve lived or where Kate lived. The cultural riches here: the Guthrie, the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra and the MIA especially. Those early years in medical practice for Kate. All of my ministry. Raising kids time. All that will become more past than now since their physical context will be far away.

The end times, at least the Christian version, is followed by that great wakin’ up morning when the dead rise from their graves. So too it will be with us following the end times here, a whole new life will rise from the ashes of this one. I look forward to it.