Category Archives: Writing

Revision

Lugnasa                                                            Garlic Planting Moon

I have a rhythm now.  Get up, eat breakfast, go down stairs and revise.  Revising, I’m learning, is as much work as writing.  Harder in a way since it requires re-thinking, re-imagining.  But, more fun, too, since the whole can begin to weave back and forth, the end influencing the beginning.  Consistency problems ironed out. Larger themes both seen and reinforced.

It’s a problem, this rhythm.  Mornings are my good time, the time my brain switches on, ready to plunge right in.  Afternoons, not so much so.  But still outside work needs to get done.  And I’d like to do Latin, too, in the afternoons.  Not all figured out.

I’m making progress, a light touch on the content.  Correcting.  Amplifying.  Excising.  The end, I know, has to be stronger.  And, I’m considering putting a chunk of the end in the beginning.  Characters need fleshing out sometimes.  A habit or mannerism, perhaps.

This is new for me.  It feels as if I’ve gone one more step on the ancientrail of creativity, of writing the long piece.  Feels good, too.  But, it’s surprisingly tiring.

 

Meaning

Lugnasa                                                         Full Garlic Moon

It may, in the end, come down to this.  How much does writing mean?  Does it mean enough to draw me away from other things I love?  This question has a lot of baggage.

First of all, I’ve had my chance.  22 years of chances, supported by a beautiful and gracious wife.  Nothing’s happened in the publishing end of my work.  It’s not that I haven’t tried; but, it’s also not like the manuscripts have flown out as, like homing pigeons, they came back to roost.  They always came back home.

None of the manuscripts, six in all counting Missing, and not counting the four I have substantially underway, but unfinished, have gotten that second and third and fourth revision.  No, I’ve succumbed to a real temptation.  Finish a draft and then chase after the next idea in a tight red skirt that comes along.  With Missing I’m trying to rectify that.

I’ve given up. Third piece of luggage.  Maybe the heaviest of all. I let the fear rise up and overwhelm me.  And, I just quit writing.  No writing, no failure.  Right?  Wrong.  There’ve been sine waves of passion, followed by fear and troughs of melancholy, anxiety.  Unlike Rembrandt, a real artistic hero, I’ve let life stop me.  No, wait.  That’s not true.  I’ve let me stop me.

Age has crept up  on me.  When I started this turn away from the ministry, it was 1991.  Now it’s 2012.  A different century.  Hell, a different millennia.  In the intervening years the hourglass has inverted.  I wasn’t young in 1991.  I’m a lot more not younger now.  The question here is, do I dare commit myself, my life and my time, again, with death no longer a distant call?

There is more, here, too.  The Indian’s see life in four phases:  student, householder, hermit, ascetic.  As soon as your children have your first male grandchild, it is time to pull back from work and to focus on religious life, first as a hermit, still at home, later, leaving home and connections to begin living life as a wandering religious.

The question this raises for me is this:  Does the third phase (I’m not an Indian, so I’m throwing out the whole ascetic idea.  Wouldn’t last long in a Minnesota winter anyhow.) really, that is appropriately, suggest a turn away from striving and a turn toward the spiritual?  In other words, is a commitment like the one I’m thinking of reviving come simply at the wrong time?  Worse, could it impede a journey I need to take?

Gonna let all this percolate, as Kate likes to say.  Look for the other side tomorrow. or later tonight.

 

Garlic

Lugnasa                                                            Garlic Planting Moon

Ordered some more garlic from Seed Savers.  Drying the small garlic slices preserves the garlic volatiles and keeps the garlic from rotting.  Good deal.  We’ll make more next year.  Kate’s going to try drying leeks, too.  We have an abundance of leeks.  I was a bit over eager when I hit the garden store in May.  Leek/tomato soup, leek/potato soup, more chicken pot pies, some chicken noodle soup.

Crushed the Colorado beetles.  Seems harsh.  Felt harsh.  But gardening demands choosing sides.  For the plants and against their attackers.  This is what I’ve called previously switching over to Mr. MacGregor.  There are, though, limits.  At least for me.  For instance, I will not go to pesticides, so if an infestation overcomes my manual or less lethal intervention, so be it.

Also picked our entire 6 apple Zestar crop today.  Apples are a couple of weeks ahead of schedule.

All but the last chapter of Missing now summarized and another 6 verses of Philemon and Baucis done.  A good day.

Working

Lugnasa                                                         Garlic Planting Moon

Down to the last book, of three, in Missing, chapter summaries complete in the first two.  A steady work, reacquainting me with the book, giving a reread not focused on revision quite yet.  That will come after the summaries and looking at the character and location files.

My interest in gardening, which always flags in late July, early August due partly to the heat and partly to the repetitious nature of the tasks, picks up again near the end of August, about now, as harvest and planning for next year becomes more the work at hand.

Already planning more vegetables in the front yard and what to do with the potato spot next year.  These new beds are important because the main vegetable garden has begun to be overtaken by maturing trees and we don’t have that any full sun locations.

Good Enough

Lugnasa                                                                    Hiroshima Moon

When Kate and I visited our money in July, our financial planner, R.J. Devick, made an interesting observation.  Responding to the deluge of financial information–there are so many sources newsletters, private websites, newspapers, books, information services for financial professionals–he decided to have just four sources on which he relied, to the exclusion of the others.  I don’t recall the specific four, but they were high quality one private, one newspaper, one financial analysis group and something else.

He said he realized he could spend all his time reading and come away more confused.  Probably so.  There is, of course, a need, and I’m sure he does this, to check the continuing reliability of your sources, but overall this was an early information management strategy. Pare down your resources, make sure they’re high quality, then rely on them.

This struck me when Kate told me about seeing the quilt display at the MIA.  One of the artists dyed their own wool in slight gradations of hue in the same color, then used those variations as the design element in her quilts.  I asked Kate if she had any interest in learning to dye and she said no, quilting and piecing were what interested her.

Kate’s made a decision not unlike R.J.’s, an intentional choice to limit her range of interest in the service of getting higher and higher quality out of her work.  It’s a strategy some of the most creative folks apply, going back to the same well over and over again, though with infinite variation in treatment.

It may see obvious to you, probably does, but to me this is anathema.  And probably to my detriment.  I’ve written before about the valedictory life, the kind of life lived by valedictorians.  Once in awhile I check up on research about this topic because I was a valedictorian in the long ago faraway.  Mostly valedictorians don’t become famous experts, great writers or over achieving corporate climbers.

Why?  Because to be a valedictorian, you have to pay similar attention to all the classes that you take.  Or, at the least, in those classes that don’t come easiest, you still have exert enough effort to get an A or 4.0.  Apparently that style continues throughout life for most valedictorians.  That means we don’t achieve the kind of focus that designs the first computer, tracks down the most efficient way to manage information, builds the deep knowledge to become an artisan in cloth or paint.

Nope, we’re happily reading Scientific American, being a docent at a museum, writing a novel, translating Latin, putting in a vegetable and flower garden, doing all of these things at a reasonably high level but not high enough to stand out.  This is a hard life to accept, in one way, when achievement has been important, but it tends to not be the type of world beater achievement others expected.  On the other hand it meshes pretty well with the good enough life.  Good enough.

A Peat Bog

Lugnasa                                                        Hiroshima Moon

This has been a down August for me.  Still slogging through molasses.  Only bursts of energy, clarity.  Don’t like it.  Doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it.  One foot in front of the other.

Worked all morning on Missing.  Right now I’m summarizing chapters, creating character bios and defining scenes.  The result will be an outline with chapter summaries and a read through, quick, yes, but still a read through.  Once the read through is done and all chapters summarized, I’ll be ready to start working on Loki’s Children.

When that comes, my days will be Missing revision, writing Loki’s children, translating Latin and the occasional tour.  Hoping that I will get assigned to the terracotta warrior show since I’m prepared already for Qin Shi Huang-Di and the rise of the Qin dynasty.

Right now all this sounds too much, but a hold over from the days of salaried work is a good work ethic once I’m clear on where I’m going.  That means I’ll keep going.

The bees.  Dejected, yes.  Defeated, no.  Last year I decided I would buy packages, build up the colonies and take the honey they produced, all of it, including their winter stores, then start over again the next year.  This was partly a response to difficulty over-wintering bees, partly to mite loads.  Fail.

So.  I have to look at this a first year project, in which case I have one colony, the aggressive one, that will have plenty of honey and brood for the upcoming winter.  The other, the less active one, had, today, brood.  Surprise!  They must have swarmed earlier and created a new queen.  Not sure right now how to encourage them through the winter, but I’ll find out.  If the strong colony produces any extra honey, I’ll give it to the weak one.

Ancient Dead-End Trails

Lugnasa                                                             Hiroshima Moon

AM working on the novel.  Revision.  Not back into the swing of it quite yet.  Got tired, sleepy.  Had to get outside and take a walk.  Signs of lack of focus. (and, yes, melancholy, too)

That will pass.  My groove will come, sliding into place and I’ll get back to regular long sessions.  Have to since I also have that second novel, Loki’s Children, to write.  There is, too, that new project, The Protectors.  Tempting to set aside the revision, the second novel and work on that one.

But I’m trying to step up here, close the deal.  Going on to a new work before finishing an old one has much allure.  The new.  The unknown.  No risk since I won’t have to sell Missing.  All roads I’ve traveled before, ancient dead-end trails I’m not gonna take this time.

 

Summer                                                                  Hiroshima Moon

Bought a new piece of software: Scrivener.  Where has this been all my life?  Well, at least the last 20 years.  It makes writing, manipulating, revising and researching novels, short stories, scripts, non-fiction so much more intuitive.  And, dare I say it?  Fun.

Just loaded Missing into it about thirty minutes ago as well as a short story with a working title, The Protectors.  I spent yesterday afternoon and most of today figuring how to use it and I passed over all the initial hurdles.

On Lughnasa I start both the first revision of Missing and the new book in the trilogy, Loki’s Children.  With this tool to hand it will make the mechanics of the process much, much simpler.

 

10,000 Hours

Summer                                               Under the Lily Moon

OK, I’m late to the 10,000 hour rule.  You probably know about it from Macolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers.  I missed it or, if I noticed it, I passed it by.

It did make me think when I ran across it recently.  What would be worth spending that much time to polish?  First question, is there anything I’ve done repeatedly, for hours at a time, over several years?  Yes, writing.  Being a student.  Engaging in political activity.  Studying Art.  And most recently, translating Latin.

Second question.  Are there any of those that I want to continue that I might pursue at a pace to reach 10,000 hours or so?  I’ve already reached that level in being a student and, I’m sure, in political work.  That pares the question down to writing, art and Latin.

I will continue writing, so writing at an increasing pace makes sense to me.  Studying art is fun, but I’m never going to put in 3 hours a day at it.  Just not that interested.  But.  The Latin?  Maybe so.  Maybe so.

That would mean pruning my close attention and active time to two activities, writing and Latin.  Might make sense.  Hmmm.

When It’s Time to Live, Live.

Summer                                                          Under the Lily Moon

“When it’s time to die, go ahead and die, and when it’s time to live, live. Don’t sort-of-maybe live, but live like you’re going all out, like you’re not afraid.”

Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

With Paul and Sarah on the road, this quote jumped out at me. (oh, toby, too) I so want to live on the very edge of my life, risking it all, trying to be the best me that I can be.

It probably doesn’t look like it from a moving to the wilds of the Maine coast position, but for me learning Latin and keeping bees put me out there, in a place no longer familiar, on lands foreign and challenging.

If I’m honest, and why wouldn’t I be, the big challenge for me is getting my work out there into the world.  It terrifies me and excites me, just not in equal measure.  The terror easily swamps the excitement.

Those of us with quiet treks, ancientrails walked alone or in private, can fall prey to adventure envy when the adventure has a physical component.  Climbing.  Skiing. Moving. I’m acquainted with this envy and envy is bad for the soul.  It diminishes the envier and the envied with a false comparison, a comparison between different journeys, neither more nor less profound or difficult.  Just different.

Traveling fills that adventure component for me, but I like returning to the familiar.  In fact, for me to walk my own ancientrail, I need a quiet home, peace during the day and a place to work.  With Kate I’ve found all these things.  A blessing in my life.

Now there’s that submitting my writing.  That’s an adventure.