Category Archives: Family

Velveteen Rabbit in Reverse

February 17, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Kate and I spent yesterday packing up the last of Jon’s dishes and books at his old house on Pontiac Street near Stapleton. We worked together as a good team, except for that last minute dispute about art. The process brought back memories of getting ready to make our move out here, memories that are still fresh enough to make moving again anytime soon very unlikely.

velveteen rabbit

There’s something sad about finishing up packing in a now empty house. The physical structure goes through a Velveteen Rabbit moment in reverse. Once real, once a home, now it returns to just a house. Its walls soon to have someone else’s art. Its floors to have someone else’s furniture. Its kitchen to have new cooks. The backyard will have different plants.

Over the weekend Jon and some friends will move furniture, the stuff in the shed, the boxes Kate and I packed to a storage unit. On Monday the deal closes and the keys will go to the new owner, a mechanical engineer. That will finish up the house as a sticking point in the marital dissolution. I hope.

We’ve been at this with Jon since last May. Jon and I went out for supper to a Mexican place in Aurora near his school. He said, “Jen and I are getting divorced.” Oh. My. First I’d heard of or suspected it. Since then Jon’s had a very rough experience. Nine months later it’s still tough for him. With the possibility of a new home purchase now that the Pontiac house has sold I hope he’ll find his attention diverted to making a place anew for him and Ruth and Gabe.

He spends a lot of time drawing new houses on graph paper utilizing shipping containers for various rooms, new structures. He’s got a lot of skills and will be able to take an older house and transform it into something beautiful. That’s one of the sad parts about pulling away from Pontiac. He redid the upstairs himself, including two bathrooms, one in which he installed a walk-in, tiled shower. He also built beds for Ruth and Gabe. He created several closets in a house that previously had little storage. He finished the kitchen, built a dining room table and counters out of old bowling alley wood and put in a productive garden.

Soon, sooner I hope, he’ll be able to do that work on a house of his own, touching here and there and making it real. Making it a home.

Family, Garden, Shadow Mountain, Woolly Mammoths

Three Score and Ten

February 14, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Got a birthday card yesterday. 70, it said, in large numerals. Wow. A new decade begun under a three quarters Valentine Moon.

vintage-valentine-with-swans

We finally got around to having our estate plan updated yesterday. We saw Rich Levine, a member of Beth Evergreen. We wanted to know whether our documents needed any changes to make them comply with Colorado law. “The law is very good with dead people,” he said, “Everybody dies and we inherited English common law.” He meant there was a significant body of law already in place about death and how to tidy up after it. “So, the good news is that most documents are good across states. Yours are fine.” They just need a codicil here or there.

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Health care directives are a different matter. There, state law differs, so he’ll have new ones drafted for us. Kate asked about right to die since Colorado enacted it last year.
“It requires two doctors to certify that you have a medical situation that qualifies, so there’s nothing we can do about preplanning for that.”

All good stuff to get done as I join Kate in the 70’s. Yes, we wink out at some point, as Rich said, “Everybody dies.” I find the certainty of death and its relative closeness invigorating.

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Over the years, with so many dogs, so many of them Irish Wolfhounds who die very young, I’ve come to treasure each moment with each one of them. I know they won’t be with us forever. Of course, there’s sadness associated with that, but there’s also an incredible intimacy that comes from sharing their time with us, knowing we will see their death. I’ve begun, of late, to transfer that awareness to myself, to Kate, to the time we have left with our grandchildren, children and friends. This awareness is visceral, felt in the deepest part of the heart, and so valuable.

My 70th decade will find that awareness grow and become more and more a guide to my life. I know it.

Family, Judaism, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate, Writing

Dry

February 12, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

I’m finding myself dry today. Starting and restarting topics, not settling into flow. Yesterday was busy and I missed my post. I also didn’t get my 750 words in on Superior Wolf though I did get my workout in at 6 am. Missed my newly started Latin work, too. Rhythm, for me, is critical to long term projects and rhythm needs consistency, even missing a day can disrupt a hitherto productive schedule.

There are matters more important than productivity. Quite a few of them. Two of them showed up here on Friday night: Ruth and Gabe. Yesterday morning saw me at Beth Evergreen twice, once earlier and once for a wonderful seder for Tu B’shevat. After that, it was nap time.

Following the nap Kate and I took Ruth into Denver for a birthday party for her buddy, Augie. They did parkour. Before taking her to the party, however, she and Ruth went shopping at Joann Fabrics. They found material to complete her costume for her Destination Imagination play. She’s the main character, a dragon. They also found cloth for Renaissance Festival costumes. Kate, Ruth, Gabe and I are going to dress up and go. Ruth wants to be a wealthy medieval woman. Gabe will be a version of Robin Hood. I’m leveraging my sparse white hair and white beard for the role of a wizard. Kate, I’m not sure what she’s going to do.

After dropping Ruth off at Augie’s home in the new urbanism shaped grounds of the former Stapleton Airport, Kate and I went to the New York Deli for supper. Kate had her favorite, chicken noodle soup with a matzo ball and I had the featured dinner, corned beef and cabbage with new potatoes. This place is an authentic Jewish deli and is a mile-high city branch of a deli of the same name in New York. In fact, their baked goods are still made in New York and flown frozen to the Denver location. They believe New York City tap water is the key to good flavor in their bagels and bread.

It was raining in Denver and in the 60’s. By the time we reached Shadow Mountain it was 32 degrees and snowing. It was good to be home.

Commentary on the news, Family, Memories, Politics, US History

Small Town, U.S.A.

February 8, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Indiana-map-copy-312948_376x160 Woke thinking about the subtitle to the book Strangers in Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning on the Right. I realized I knew this one from personal experience.

In 1956 my family, then Mary, myself, Mom and Dad lived at 311 E. Monroe Street. I was nine. Diane Bailey lived next door, the Kildow kids and the Meyers kids lived about a block away as did Candace. The Carver boy, whose name I can’t recall, lived at the bottom of the hill, Ronnie Huffman lived a block back toward Lincoln.

These were all modest homes, not Baltic Avenue, but maybe Tennessee, Virginia. Ours had an oil burning stove in the middle of the second room on the ground floor, a grate above it allowed the air to rise to two small bedrooms upstairs. A smallish living room and a kitchen completed the downstairs. In the living room, unusual for this time period, sat a small black and white television, a gift from the owner of the newspaper, The Times-Tribune, for which my Dad was editor.

Summer days and nights found all of us kids out, playing with each other, coming home at supper time or after dark. We had secret forts in the field, empty ground about two blocks away, a baseball diamond in the Carver’s side yard, a hill down which we rode bicycles and sleds, often putting up ramps for jumps. Once it got dark we’d play hide and go seek or kick the can. Sometimes we’d throw rocks up in the air to watch bats swoop down after them. It was not an unusual childhood, not for those times.

Continue reading Small Town, U.S.A. →

Cinema and Television, Family, Third Phase

Music

February 6, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

This was a weekend without the grandkids, allowing Grandpop and Grandma to decompress, take in some jazz and a movie. We saw La La Land yesterday. I appreciated what it wanted to do, but somehow it came up short for me. The plot seemed thin, the dancing and singing a little flat. A musical about folks trying to make it in Hollywood is not quite a cliche, but very close. On the other hand I like Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling and their acting made the movie for me.

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With Saturday night out at Dazzle and Thursday at Gabe’s 3rd grade concert it’s been a big week for us.

Our life has slowly begun to gain traction again after the knee disruption and the divorce. The house on Pontiac closes on February 20th or so and after that Jon will start hunting for a place to buy in Aurora. Final orders for the divorce were finished two months ago and the house is the major remaining marital entanglement. The divorce is on a downward slope now though it will take years to truly finish. Joint custody will ensure that.

The next big event here on Shadow Mountain is my birthday, hitting 70. I’m looking forward to it, feels like I’ve been getting ready for this birthday for a long time. Not sure why. Maybe it means the third phase is now finally and truly begun. No residuals from my early 60’s in this new decade.

Colorado, Family, Music

Dazzled

February 5, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Purnell Steen and Le Jazz Machine. Last night at Dazzle Jazz on Lincoln in Denver.

Purnell organized a playlist for the evening. It was all African-American composers in honor of Black History Month. Billy Strayhorn, Duke Ellington, Art Blakey, Eubie Blake and some I didn’t catch. Here’s one by Art Blakey, Soft Wind.

Dazzle Jazz is a supper club with seating for maybe 100, all at tables. It opens at 6:00 pm for dining, with the first evening show at 7:00 pm. The stage is against the southern wall.

The menu has a lot of variety, from mac and cheese to braised greens to New York strip. The drink menu last night featured a “Bowling Green Massacre.” You can tell why we like this place.

Kate and I met listening to chamber music at the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra. I realized last night that in the literal sense jazz is chamber music, too. It’s no surprise then that Kate and I have shifted our musical evenings to Denver’s jazz scene. And we get food.

Colorado, Dogs, Family, Jefferson County, Judaism, Memories, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, The Move

Glad We Live Here

January 30, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Valentine Moon

The dogs after delivery by Tom Crane and Kate, before the boxes

The move, two years plus later. On October 31st, Summer’s End of 2014, we closed on 9358 Black Mountain Drive. Later that same year, on December 20th, the Winter Solstice, we moved in. At the time we still owned our home in Andover, Minnesota. When the boxes piled up in all spaces of our new house, we looked at them, breathed in and out heavily and took a nap. We were to breathe in and out heavily for three months or so as our bodies adjusted to life at 8,800 feet.

The winter weather on Shadow Mountain that preceded and followed our move was snowy and cold. Even for two Minnesotans. We had to learn mountain driving on snowy, slick roads though the Jefferson County snowplows did do an excellent job of clearing and sanding our main road, Black Mountain Drive (Hwy. 78).

IMAG0927_BURST002 — Progress, January 2015

Even so, living in the mountains was what we wanted and it was everything we hoped and more. Every drive took us past rocky, conifer covered mountain sides. We were on and among the Rocky Mountains.

Of course, yes, we moved out here to be closer to the grandkids and to Jon and Jen, family, 900 miles closer. Jen had expected us to move closer to them and was upset we decided to live in the mountains. We never did get her to understand that our move had two related, but distinct purposes: the first was to live in a place that we loved; the second to be with people we loved. Now that the divorce is over and the apres divorce time underway we are certainly glad we chose our home based on our dreams rather than hers.

Jon and Ruth clear our drive before the moving van comes

Kate rapidly found a quilting group, the Bailey Patchworkers, and began meeting with them monthly. Out of that group came an invitation to a smaller group of needle workers who also meet monthly. I didn’t find that kind of local connection until a few months ago when we both started attending Congregation Beth Evergreen. Since then, I’ve also found Organizing for Action-Conifer. We’re both gradually becoming part of our community here in the mountains; actually, communities, because we have as much affiliation with Evergreen, perhaps more, than we do with Conifer.

It’s been a medically eventful two years for me with prostate cancer in 2015 and the total knee in 2016. Kate’s rheumatoid arthritis led to hand/wrist surgery over a year ago and she continues to have degenerative disc disease related pain. Combined with the divorce, which began in earnest in May of 2016 and continues as Jon still lives with us, it means we’ve been very inwardly and family focused the whole time so far. We both hope this year gives us a break on the medical front and that Jon finds a new home for himself, Ruth and Gabe.

20151114_111107 — fire mitigation, 2015. Just before the solar panels were installed.

Every once in awhile, we say to each other: I’m glad we moved here. And we are. The mountains teach us, every day, what it means to be mountains and what it means to live among them from snowy weather to elk and mule deer to rushing spring streams to less available oxygen. We’re very glad we’ve been here to support Jon and the grandkids. Those two reasons for the move have both manifested themselves in positive ways.

We’ve begun our third year on Shadow Mountain. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Commentary on Religion, Commentary on the news, Faith and Spirituality, Family, Great Work, Jefferson County, Judaism, Politics, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., US History

I suppose

January 29, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Valentine Moon

bagelry1

I suppose.

Kate and I supplied bagels, schmear and fruit for the bagel table at Beth Evergreen yesterday. The bagel table is a casual shabbat service that includes the prayer book and the torah reading. Yesterday the parsha was va-er, Exodus 6:2-9:26, for the most part the story of the plagues sent by God on Egypt.

Rabbi Jamie said that in one instance the verb usually translated as go, as in Go to Pharaoh, is actually come. The meaning shifts a good deal with this understanding. Come to Pharaoh implies, according to Jamie, that God will be acting through Pharaoh. This falls under the difficult to understand category for me.

Kate and I talked about this idea as we drove up Brook Forest Drive. After some conversation, we decided that if you pull back, look from a historical view, then the actions of Pharaoh do work as part of God’s efforts on behalf of the Jewish slaves. His hardened heart provides the impetus, eventually, for the Exodus.

Endurance

We then turned to our contemporary Pharaoh, the Trump. Could God (whatever you want to insert into this metaphysical placeholder) speak to us through the Trump? Jamie’s point was that we have to see the potential for God to speak us especially through those things or persons that we fear or despise. I suppose. Let’s try here.

Pulling back, taking the historical view, what possible liberating impulse could come from Trump’s presidency? (I take liberating impulse to equal God.) It’s true that Trump’s election highlighted the plight of the white working class, those with no more than a high school education. And, it may be, policies to address their concerns will lift all of the working class, high school educated folks. That would be an astonishing and welcome outcome, at least to me.

with her

Too, we might consider the orders to build the wall, block Muslim refugees from certain countries, repeal the ACA, gut environmental regulations as a hardening of the heart, a so-obvious step away from justice and fairness, a big step away from a sustainable future for humanity on this planet, that the reaction to them will part the climate denying sea and create the political will for single payer health care, a return to Ellis Island immigrant welcoming that so many of us yearn for. Maybe. I suppose it could happen that way. May it be so.

As you can tell though, I’m skeptical. But, if it can be, I’ll be the first in line to admit my skepticism unwarranted.

Family, Friends, Health, Jefferson County, Judaism, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, The West, US History, Woolly Mammoths

It’s Almost Here.

January 19, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Cold Moon

Yes. Tomorrow.

Groups have begun to emerge. Right here in Conifer there’s a good start, one I intend to join. A couple who make kites has organized it and the general thrust sounds good. Will also be a chance to meet fellow progressives who live here. Beth Evergreen has not, yet, gotten anything started though I believe that will happen.

The Wall of Meat must be checking their bikes right now, making sure their pipes are loud because loud pipes save lives, or so say the bumper stickers. The Rockettes. Wonder what they’re thinking about? All those women. I hope it turns out massive and raucous. Those bibles, Trump’s family bible and Lincoln’s. My question. Will they burst into flame when he puts his hand on them? Just sayin’.

I will spend the day with good friend Tom Crane who’s flying in today. We’ll have dinner here tonight, a fire and conversation. Tomorrow, inauguration day, we’ll motor over to The Happy Camper, where Kate and I buy our maryjane. Not sure, of course, but dispensaries all across the U.S. might see an uptick in sales after tomorrow. Gonna watch cabinet secretary appearances before the Senate? Don’t bogart that joint, my friend. Take it down and pass it over to me.

As to the knee. Which now comes near the end of my thoughts as I write. Little pain, mostly gain. My physical therapist said I was healing “incredibly well.” Good to hear. The big deal now is restrengthening muscles that have weakened over the years of arthritis caused bad biomechanics and lack of exercise post surgery. My right hip muscles are especially weak. Kat and Katie, p.t.’s at Select Physical Therapy, have me putting a small red rubber band around my ankles and walking sideways for two minutes at a time. May not sound like much, but ouch!

Jon and Jen have a good offer on their house. They accepted it and now await inspections, then closing. Provided all goes well this will relieve the last major impediment to moving on after the divorce. Jon will use the money to buy a new house in Aurora, the large Denver suburb where he works as an art teacher. He will be glad to give up the commute from Conifer, returning to riding his bike to work.

2017 will have some upsides, then. Never underestimate the power of unintended consequences, even with the Trump. Could be some positive things there, too.

Asia, Family, Health, Jefferson County, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Bought Just-In-Case

January 12, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Cold Moon

The full cold moon lights up the back, hanging above Shadow Mountain in the northwest sky. A dusting of fresh snow, maybe 1/2″, was easy to clear off the back deck. Minnesota cred should find me feeling warm at 23 degrees, but I’m slipping, beginning to absorb the local definitions of cold. If it’s in the single digits, down coats and Sorels. Well, I’m not quite there. Not yet.

Brother Mark is my Phnom Penh stringer right now, reporting live from the streets. He saw Hanukkah candles and a Chabad House, a crying Chinese girl, a naked Khmer boy playing with a string attached to his sister’s hand, a casino called Nagaworld where he found clean restrooms and lots of smoking. Mark also reports that the Cambodian economy is enjoying steady 7% growth, an increasing affluence he can see compared to his last visit ten years ago. I’m glad to hear this. I liked the Cambodians I met in 2004 during my trip to Angkor.

Apparently, my doc wanted to be sure I’d gotten off the bad drugs. We did my 6-month PSA, still following up after the prostatectomy and did a panel she wanted to see. Lisa cares about her patients and it was clear yesterday she wanted to be sure I was getting past the surgery. A good feeling.

Here’s a note from Pinecam.com to finish off. Just a glimpse into what’s out there:

“Selling a BNIB Radical Firearms AR15 rifle and a Radical Firearms 7.5” AR15 pistol. These are factory-built firearms, not garage builds. New in boxes, never fired.

I bought these before the election “just-in-case” but now I don’t really have a need for them. My loss, your gain.

$500 each. Comes with all factory swag and a few nice extras. Sorry, no mags included.

For some reason I can’t seem to upload photos to this ad, but do have a complete ad with more details and photos on Armslist under “Firearms”.”